Happy Birthday Sage!

Today, July 20th, our Sage is 8 months old. How I long to be with her to celebrate another month in her little life. To take a picture to celebrate this birthday. To record all the things she is doing. To snuggle with her and kiss those chunky cheeks! Please pray for us that we will be with her before she turns 9 months old. In honor of Sage, we went back to the mall of course! For lunch I ate chinese, the kids don't go for that. And we went back to Build a Bear. On Monday we made our first animal, and the plan was that was that. The kids had made a bear for Malaine while they waited for her to be born, so of course they wanted to do one for Sage, but not the same bear as they did for Malaine. The kids chose the BIG bunny. And they had fun stuffing it, fluffing it, and we all kissed a heart and made a wish for Sage and stuffed it into the Bunny. They chose the red white and blue outfit for the bunny to wear. And they named the bunny Faith. Before we even started the adoption God placed Hebrews 11:1 on my heart and I have repeated that verse over and over through this neverending wait. "Now FAITH is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see". When Mark seemed so against me in the beginning, I had Faith that God had spoke adoption to me for a reason and that He would speak to Mark. When the wait went on and on, it took ALOT of Faith to hold on and trust in Our Father, but I was certain of what I hoped for and I trusted that God would give me what He promised. So we all agreed that Faith seemed the perfect name for our bunny, who was waiting for the little gift we still have yet to see! After getting Faith done and the more I thought about it, i wished I had insisted the kids chose a smaller animal, so that Sage could actually hold it and not be scared of its size! So today, to celebrate Sage's 8 month birthday, we went back. And stuffed the velvet little bear. And had just as much fun(ok to be honest, build a bear is NUTS and 3 kids fighting over who does what, only slightly fun!) but we now have a small bear that is very kid friendly and who is named Qiao Qiao. Which we are guessing is what they are calling Sage in China. We plan to take this little bear w/ us to China and we are planning on playing w/ her, sleeping w/ so that she will be a part of us to give to Sage.
Please pray for our Sage. That she is healthy and being loved on. Please pray we get our travel approval quickly. While we have enjoyed our week, we are all anxious to get home and start working on our packing for China. And last please pray for her birth mother & father. I can't help but wonder, as my heart cries for missing her so much this day, does her birthmother hurt to? We both have sad hearts over this little girl that we can't hold. My day is coming though, and she will be in my arms. Her birth mother will never get that.
Happy Birthday Sweet Sage.

The Park at Mall of America

Sorry, no pictures, will try to add them in the morning. Last year the park was called Camp Snoopy, and everything had a Snoopy Theme. I guess there was some thing w/ $ and keeping the name so now all snoopy is gone. But the kids were not sad, still had their same favorite rides. It is the perfect park for our kids. Makenna can ride everything, Sawyer everything but one ride. It was crowded, but the lines were not bad. Poor Malaine will be 10 before she gets to ride anything but kiddy rides, she is so short. Which is ok w/ her, she is not the daredevil that her siblings are. She will be happy to have Sage w/ her hanging out in the younger area!
It is always a challenge trying to take all 3 kids to the park during the day while Mark works. I am exhausted trying to keep up w/ them all, and I can't even imagine if we tried this next year. I am not sure i will be that brave on my own. i told Mark we should have brought along our favorite babysitter, (who is so kindly watching our dog back home!), but another person involves another room blah, blah, blah... The only real problem i had was at lunch. We were eating in the food court, and as soon as we sit down malaine announces she has to go to the bathroom. So what does a mom do? I won't even admit it, but lets just say it all worked out fine!
i did get a lecture from some "nice" man when Sawyer got on the escalator ahead of me, before i was ready so he came running UP the escalator to get back to me. The man said" i hope you know these are dangerous". And so I, w/ my "nice Christian attitude" said, Yes, I realize that and I don't make it a habit of letting my children play on them, thank you very much. What i really wanted to say was, yes, i am going crazy here w/ all these kids, can you help me get them down the steps in a safe way? It was a man by the way, another mom, would have been nicer, i hope!
Of course this area has so many visitors from around the world. And so we saw lots of little asian girls. One family was waiting on a ride next to me, and seeing those girls, just made my heart cry. I started thinking, here we are having a blast, and our daughter and sister is sitting half way around the world, in an orphange. So I did what any good mommy would do. Took the kids out to the mall for a quick shopping trip and bought Sage some clothes. Doesn't make up for her not being here of course, but buying her things makes me feel like we are getting closer to actually putting these clothes on her.
Mark did join us at the park after work and the kids had fun taking him on all their favorite rides. We finished the night w/ dinner at The Rainforest Cafe. We had The Volcano for dessert. Sinful is all i can say! YUM! It is alot of fun, they bring it out and all the waiters yell VOLCANO and it is all lit up and sparkly and the kids thought it was amazing. Sugar high before bed always a good thing!
We did get calls from home about the terrible storms. My parents said our trampoline was around the neighborhood. Bummer. I feel bad everyone is w/ out power there. Thankful I am here! Prayerfully the air will be back on tomorrow for everyone. Just an FYI, we are not able to access our e-mail from here, so if you are trying to reach me, you have to comment here. Off to try to sleep off some calories, sure!

Last Vacation as a Family of 5!

Makenna & Malaine at the ski show.
Forever Mama's Boy!
To much for Malaine to check out at the Lodge!
Our Pirates at the Ski Show!

In June we had planned to go up North w/ Mark while he was in training for work. Thankfully the trip was cancelled since our referral came the week we should have been gone. Lucky for us he was still able to schedule a week to work from St Paul, Mn. And this is the week! We left our house on Friday and stayed 2 nights on the drive up at the Wisconsin Dells. We had a blast! We stayed at the Great Wolf Lodge which was wonderful. Our room was very nice, the place has waterparks everywhere. FUN, lots of FUN! We did go and see a ski show while there which was ok. the kids liked it, but it was hot. And on the drive out we wasted our money on Ripleys Believe it or Not. Cost a fortune and we were done w/ in an hour. The Dells is somewhere we would go back to for sure.
Sunday we drove on up to St Paul. We are staying close to the Mall of America. Mark drives into work and the kids and I take the shuttle over to the mall. i would like to think i am walking off all the junk we are eating, but I have a feeling not. There are so many good places to eat! Sunday we had Famous Dave's BBQ. Monday we had steak. Tonight we ate Bubba Gumps. I LOVE thier food and it is such a fun place to eat! The kids have been begging for Rainforest Cafe so that is tomorrow. Lunch was a fabulous italian place. So much for sticking to my diet. We have shopped, made a bunny at build a bear for Sage(more on that later), shopped, played, been swimming and shopped some more!
I added a few pictures from the Dells. Tomorrow we will spend the day at the Park inside the mall so hopefully more pictures to come!

2 Weeks Down..

i can't stand not having her picture at the top of the blog! 2 weeks down since referral. How many days till we hear something? ANYTHING!! Please continue to pray for Sage, especially for her health. We are praying for updates. Greedy isn't it? 2 weeks ago we finally get her pictures, now we ask for more! But these pictures are so old, they were taken in April. I know babies change alot in 3 months. I would just like to see her now and especially to know that she is doing well. Our agency requests pictures and measurements , but never knows if they will get them.
We have Sage's crib up in our room. We are quickly filling it w/ all things China. I am supposed to pack light. And I am trying, really trying. But what if... Any tips on packing, PLEASE pass them on!

From the Mouth of Sawyer

Sawyer finished up his first year of coach pitch last week. Not sure he is headed for a career in baseball!
On the drive to church Sunday, each of the kids had a picture of Sage to "show off" to their friends. Sawyer says, "This baby is not that dark". We replied that she will probably look darker in person and might get darker as she is older. Sawyer"Oh, so right now she just looks like a regular person" Of course this is said w/ all innocence of a 5 year old, and so it was a little funny. However, we might need to have a lesson in being "politically correct" in our house before Sage is home!

One Week Down!

Beautiful Glass Art from Mark's parents on referral day.
Sweet Card from our friends the Harriss Family
Chocolate ladybugs, musical ladybugs and sweet girl ribbon from Aunt Judy & Uncle Ray.
Ladybug Purse, pen and bear from our friends the Dickmann Family.
The kids got ladybug suckers from Megan our babysitter.

Mark & I both agreed, last week was the LONGEST in the adoption process so far! We were busy, but it just seems like we have had Sage's picture forever already! Mark asked on Friday, shouldn't we have our travel packet, shouldn't we be filling out paperwork? Oh yeah, it has only been 5 days. Sigh... So right now we just wait. We wait to hear from China that we can go. And I think that you typically hear in about 3-4 weeks. Then travel about 3-4 weeks later. We are ready, oh so ready! We have Sage pictures everywhere. We blew them up to large sizes, so we can study every tiny minute detail about her. By the way, her little nails are long and she is scratching her face! I need to be there so i can cut those for her. We really hope we get updated pictures and measurements before travel. We are in love with this picture, and yet she probably looks nothing like it! We can't wait to see if she has hair!
We hope everyone has a very Happy 4th of July!

Song That is Playing

Or if it is not playing, hit play on the left! I have had quite a few people asking about the song, Isn't it perfect? I repasted the words that I had posted back in January so below is that entry. Crazy to think that at that time, Sage was just a little newborn baby, 2 months old.



Smile

Because I like to torture myself as much as possible, every song I listen to turns into an adoption song. I heard this one way back and just thought it was perfect. It is by Chris Rice and it is called Smile. He wrote it talking about the day he meets Jesus. Of course I long for that day also. But for now, I have changed the words just a bit for Sage.

How far are you? How close am I?
I know the words are true but I don't feel them inside.
Still I believe, you'll never leave
So where are you now?

Your all i want, you are all I know
Your breath is breathing in my soul
Still I am grasping, aching asking
Where are you now?

I just want to be with you
Just want this waiting to be over
I just want to be with you
and it helps to know that day is getting closer

Every minute takes an hour
Every inch feels like a mile
Till I won't have to imagine
And I finally get to see you Smile

My jouney's here, but my heart is there
So i dream and wait and keep the faith while your prepared
For our destiny, till you come home to me
Oh please make it soon

I just want to be with you
I just want this waiting to be over
I just want to be with you
And it helps to know the day is getting closer

Every minute takes an hour
Every inch feels like a mile
Till I wont' have to imagine
And I finally get to see you smile

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And Her Full Name is...

Sage ChenYi Mae Laxton. We had planned to use just her chinese name as her middle name all along. Then I started thinking about how our other 3 children all have a family middle name of some sort. I do not want her to feel left out! So we kept the ChenYi. From our translation, her name was chosen because of this. "Chen represents the Chen Zhou City, where she was found. Yi Qiao carries our sincere hope that she will be blessed and have a much better life. We wished her to be encountered with great people who would help her gain her happiness and auspcious." I felt very strongly that she should have Chen. That is where she began her little life, and that will always be a special place to us. We thought the Yi flowed better. We will say it ChenYi, all together. Like Jenny w/ a C. Mae is after my grandmother on my moms side. It was her middle name. She passed away at only 66 years of age, and I only wish she could have been here to see our sweet babies! We also liked Mae because in China, little sisters are called Mei Mei, so it just fit to end her name as that! And it rhymes w/ all us girls in the house. Shannon Faye, Makenna Kaylee, & Malaine Shaye. Now she can never say I did not include her into the family chain of names!!

Shopping Fun

A gift from my friend Brenda in TN who is going to get Ellie in 2 Weeks! This frame has been waiting for this picture since mothers day!
We girls baby shopped today. Sage must have our colors!
And of course the girls insisted on this one! Isn't that cute?

I have a closet FULL of clothes that I have bought this past year, that will fit Sage sometime in the next YEAR! They are so big! What a shame, now we have to do more shopping. hehehe! I am figuring she will wear 3-6 or 6-9, maybe.
Yesterday I was a crab. I was emotionally drained. The past year, bam. I felt as if I had given birth, w/ out the physical hurt. But today I am good. Mark put up her crib tonight in our room. What a sweet sight! I am filling it w/ all things going to china.
We already have all our translated information on our daughter(where she was found, her daily schedule etc.) and we have settled on her full name. I will post those tomorrow! Along w/ some great pictures of the gifts we got at our Referral Celebration.

More Referral Day

The first picture is the one that was on the front of our referral packet, and the first picture I saw of our sweet daughters face. I love it! the second they took at the agency and it is on their website! Notice my shirt! I am a Lucky Mommy!
We went out to dinner w/ about 50 of our family and friends. We are still in shock! WE HAVE A BABY GIRL!!! God is so good!
The drive to the agency was LONG! We had to go through the city and pick Sawyer up from school. Traffic slowed us down and so we were running late. Who is late for referral?? We went in and the whole china team was there waiting for us. They said ITS A GIRL! and showed us the packet. I took one look at that face, and I knew. This was my baby. The one I have prayed for, cried for, longed for and waited for, for over a year now. She is so young, which we have prayed for on our knees. We did not want to miss ANY of her life, and she is about as young as they would possibly adopt out from China.
Some neat things to us that confirm she is OURS! For my 30th birthday, well over a year ago, Mark bought me a mothers ring. It had stones in it that we removed to add in Makenna and Malaine's birthstone. In the last place which was for Sage it had a November birthstone. They told me at the jewler that they could replace that once we knew when our baby had been born. so for over a year, i have worn around Sage's birthstone!! And the other neat thing to me is that her birthday is November 20th. Our LID to china was 6/20. So every month on that day, I prayed extra hard, and really had a burden for our baby. Well, she was born on November 20th! So the number that has been in my head now for over a year, is her birthdate!
We hope to travel to China in about 7 weeks. So she will be just about 9 months old. And according to the chinese growth chart, she is TINY!! Barely in the 10th %! But from these pictures, she looks very well fed and healthy! Please continue to pray for Sage. That she is being loved on, and WELL cared for till we can bring her home.

ITS A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, The LORD has done great things for them........Psalm 126:2

With Joyful hearts and on our knees with Thanks to GOD for the GREAT things he has done, we introduce our baby girl..

Chen Yi Qiao (chen is her last name & where she is, Yi means also/again Qiao tall/high
I say because the Lord on HIGH has blessed us AGAIN w/ a baby girl!!

To be Sage (chinese part we are still deciding) Laxton

Born November 20th 2005 only 7 months old!!!

Waiting in Chenzhou Childrens Welfare Institue in Hunan

She weighed 12 pounds on April 14th. (with clothes on)

Says she is restless & active and a moderate sleeper!! Has a ready smile, fond of playing with toys and can roll over!

We THANK GOD for this precious and beautiful GIFT!!

THE CALL!

2nd time to attempt to post this. About 10:30 we got the call from our social worker that referrals were in office!! She had not looked at ours since we had told her we did not want ANY information over the phone. She told us to come in at 2pm. SO we are leaving to finally see the face of our sweet baby!

We are celebrating tonight at The Chinese Buffet in South County, Kmart plaza. (by bellacino's) I made a large reservation, so ANYONE is welcome to stop by and celebrate w/ us!

Praise the LORD!!!

The Call

We just got "the call" from our social worker! Our referral is in office!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She had not even looked at the packet, because we requested no information over the phone. She said to come in at 2pm. So we are almost regrettting that decision. 3 hours to wait but then we will FINALLY see our baby!

Want to celebrate with us tonight? We are meeting at the Chinese Buffet in South County in the Kmart Plaza. We would LOVE to see you there and show off our baby. 6pm till whenever. I made a HUGE reservation.

Praise The Lord!!

No News Yet...

Our agency should just be opening up now. I am not sure when the packages are normally delivered. Please continue to pray for safe delivery, because you just never know!
Last night I dreamed we got a referral for a 14 month old baby from Africa. She was cute! But not really what we expected! (did i tell you our friends just finished an adoption from africa?) A few weeks ago I dreamed I got a blond haired blue eyed boy from china. 18 months old. Hmmm.. Way back when I dreamed it was a girl, and she was born on October 30th. then another time I just remember dreaming we got a referral for a girl and she was very young. SO... Today, all those questions will be answered. And if i get a blond hair, blue eyed african chinese baby, then WOW! Will update anytime we hear ANYTHING!!

Monday is the Day!!!

Our Agency spoke with their China office tonight and it looks like referrals will be here on Monday. I am pretty sure this might be the longest weekend of our life! But after waiting for 367 days from our LID, 391 days from the time our paperwork went to China and well over 500 days since we first started the adoption process, what is another 4 days?? Eternity, to tell the truth!

It has been a day full of emotions for me. Huge relief first of all. Knowing we finally made it. No more waiting. Well besides the next 4 days and then the 7 weeks we will wait to travel! Tears of joy have filled me all day. God is so Good! I prayed for this child, and He promised He would deliver. To know we are SO close to seeing that little face that God placed on our hearts so very, very long ago.

We began the process of adoption over 500 days ago. But God began the process in my heart, long before that. Even as a child, I believe He pressed it deep on my heart. You may have heard me talk about the stories of playing "orphange" w/ my barbie dolls as a little girl, or the mission trips I went on and the children I wanted to bring home with me after seeing their living condtions. I know that God had it planned that this baby would complete our family.

Who is this baby? I love her (or him!) w/ every ounce of my soul. This child who I have never laid eyes upon, or held, who I know nothing about. This is our 4th child, yet my feelings are no different. Some question if it is possible to love a child that is not "your own". But she is my own! She was mine before I knew she would be mine. She will be no different to me than our other 3 children. She is the miracle of God's faithfulness and His love. She is a gift and we will never forget the days we waited for her, cried for her, prayed for her.

Soon so very soon we will lay our eyes upon our gift. No more watiting, no more questions. Girl, Boy? Where is she from? (yes, I know CHINA, but where in china? )
When was she born? (i dreamed october 30th & I have a novemeber birthstone left in my mothers ring waiting for her spot to be filled??) Does she have hair? (if they go by Marks pictures, i guess NO!!) What is her name? Where was she found?

So stay tuned! Our time is here. We will get the call and go over to the office to pick up our paperwork. We do not want to know anything over the phone. NOTHING!! I have waited this long, i want it ALL in person. My guess is it will be later monday before we get to post anything.

Thanks for all the prayers and support. Keep praying, the plane has not landed yet!

Oh and one last thing... how do you like the new song? This has been our song through this long wait! Just want to be w/ you, just want this waiting to be over, AND IT ALMOST IS!!!

OUR BABY IS ON THE WAY!!!!

While I slept, peacefully I might add... The CCAA Website Updated!!! Referrals are through June 28th!!! I don't know if we will see our baby tomorrow, or have to wait till Monday, but SOON!!!
PRAISE THE LORD!!!

No News Yet...

Many rumors yesterday that the CCAA site would change last night. That is the chinese center of adoption affairs. They show on their site when referrals are sent and through what date. We planned to stay up all night, but per our agency, last night would not be the night. So we slept. And peacefully might I add! I am SO thankful for all the prayers I know my family & friends are sending up for us. The Lord is covering me in peace & I feel it! Today marks our 1 year anniversary of being logged in with China. Who would have thought we would still be here waiting. But we are close, oh so close!!

HUGE Relief/Not Referral

No news on referrals. Rumors are all over. Some say the site will change during the night tonight, some say they are still working over there. Regardless, we still feel very confidant that we are in this batch. We (mostly me) have been worried sick, because Mark was scheduled to leave town next week for mandatory training, and we were planning to go w/ him. If the referral did not come before then, well you all know the story. Praise the Lord, his training has been CANCELLED!!! We will be here when referrals come, and we can drive to our office and pick it up!! This was such a HUGE deal to me and I just kept praying that God would somehow work it all out. Of course still praying for a referral this week. We are SO ready to meet our baby! Stay tuned! We are planning a 24(the show) marathon so we can stay up late and watch the CCAA website. Not like I am sleeping great anyways!

Boy Names, Just in case!!

We have been really struggling to come up w/ a boy name. If you remember awhile back I thought we had agreed on Stryder. But I guess a nod yes while watching tv, is not really a yes I love that name after all. Mark says there is no way on this earth he is naming his son Stryder. So I told him he had to come up w/ something better. His suggestion was Simeon. Not Simon, but Si me on. I started to do some research on it and the more I searched, the more i liked it.
Simeon means God has heard. That right there gets my attention! And then in the New Testament this is who Simeon was: (from Luke)
25Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon, who was righteous and devout. He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him. 26It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord's Christ. 27Moved by the Spirit, he went into the temple courts. When the parents brought in the child Jesus to do for him what the custom of the Law required, 28Simeon took him in his arms and praised God, saying:
29"Sovereign Lord, as you have promised,
you now dismiss[d] your servant in peace.
30For my eyes have seen your salvation,
31which you have prepared in the sight of all people,
32a light for revelation to the Gentiles
and for glory to your people Israel."

33The child's father and mother marveled at what was said about him. 34Then Simeon blessed them and said to Mary, his mother: "This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, 35so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too."

So, there you have it. Of course i have heard this story before, but as I reread it, I was just very moved and thought it was a really neat name for a child that we have prayed for, and that will be such a blessing to our family. Of course he may still be she! And hopefully with in the next week the question will be answered!

The NeverEnding Month

Will it ever end? I have no doubt we will be getting our referral in this next batch. (If we don't, just lock me away, PLEASE!) But now the question is, WHEN?? I have been counting on it coming mid week next week. That would follow the trend of the last few months. Then I saw a rumor mentioned that they might be mailed THE END of next week. That is bad news for us. Mark has training out of town, and we were going to follow along. I REALLY REALLY wanted to be here when the call comes. Being in the same town as our home office means that I can drive over to the office and pick up our package instead of having it mailed to me. And of course we want to be here to celebrate w/ our family and friends who have prayed and waited right along w/ us. I had been even holding out a little hope that maybe they might come early, maybe this week, so that we could celebrate our "gift" on Fathers Day. I am really going CRAZY!! Maybe I should get busy cleaning my house since tomorrow is the update on our homestudy and our social worker will be back here. That should keep me occupied for today at least! By the way, we have come up w/ a boy name, no thanks to help from you all! Well, we have come up w/ another possiblity I should say. But I will post about that later. It was Mark's idea and it is growing on me...

Happy Anniversary To Us!

For some reason this scanned in horrible. We have been married a long time, but not long enough to have our pictures looking that bad! 12 years ago today, I married my highschool sweetheart! i was 19, sounds so young now! We celebrated tonight w/ a movie & dinner at the Melting Pot, our favorite. Don't we look exactly the same? Give or take a few pounds, and ALOT of hair! hehehehe!

Girl, Boy or Both??

As you probably know, when we turned in our paperwork to China, we stated that we were open to a girl OR a boy from China. We knew the chances of getting a boy were slim, but we still said either as we felt that God would choose the sex of our child, not us. Because we honestly did not care. And at first, I thought in my head girl or boy. But as the wait went on, I felt convinced that we would get a girl. Bought girl things, called her Sage and have become very attached to this little girl in my head and heart. But every once in a while, i have doubts and think, what if it is a boy? I have friends who are convinced we are getting a boy. One of my dear friends even dreamed this week we got a boy referral. Now Malaine, our 3 year old, is convinced we are getting a girl AND a boy. No question about it. And their names will be Sage and Tanner. There is no doubt in her head that this is what she will have for her new siblings. We are not sure where Tanner came from. But she does not talk about Sage w/ out Tanner. The rumors have started. They say referrals will cover through 6/23. I am good w/ that! Though I wish they would go farther and cover all my June friends. There is also rumor they will be here this week, next week etc.. If trend follows as the past few months, I am expecting to hear on the 20th. That will be our 1 year LID anniversary also! This week would be a GREAT surprise of course! But I can make it one more week. I think! So not only do we wait to see when they come, we wait to see, Is it a Girl, A boy?? How old? Where from? This is my most anticipated ultrasound yet!

By the way, we are perfectly fine w/ a boy. I know that God will give me the child that is MY child. But I do need a boy name!! Any S names out there for me? You know a few months ago i said Stryder. Mark says no way now. The only thing we agree on is Xander. Szander. Zander. HELP!!

And are we ok w/ twins if Malaine knows something that we don't? It will be a miracle if that is what we get. And mark will pass out I am sure! But like I said, we trust God knows what we need and whatever baby we are referred, we will know is a gift from Him.

Last Day of School

This was Makenna's last day of school. We have been out for 1 week now! the pictures are out of order. Her teacher is the last one of course. We take a picture every year under the Victory sign to see how much we are growing! And lunch that day was Denny's, Makenna's pick. Hard to believe 2nd grade is over. Next year when school starts life is going to be so different! 4 kids, 2 of them in school full time! WOW!

Kansas City Part 2

Mark's Brother Brett's Children Graham celebrating 2 !
Tyler is 4!!
Party Fun!!
Swinging Around!

Kansas City Part 1

Stephanie, Ginger & Shannon Mommy's in waiting, and waiting, and waiting!
Kianna & Makenna
Malaine, Tucker & Sawyer

We had a great time in Kansas City last weekend. We had the chance to lunch w/ Stephanie, who is LID 6/22 and waiting for her baby girl Tatumn. We are FOR SURE travel buddies! She has 3 boys, 1 of them above. Taylor, Tanner and Tucker. I know their little girl will be a perfect fit in their family and turn their world pink!! ;) Ginger and Danny also joined us, they are LID 6/10. We had hoped and prayed that we would all travel together, but that was not God's plan. Kiana and Makenna had a great time, and though they won't be in China together, they will still be able to visit and remain good friends. Kiana is offically a big sister! They have a 9 month old baby girl waiting for them in China! We are so excited to see the pictures of their new daughter!

Sawyer Graduates PreSchool

Sawyer & his Buddies! Twins Ty & Trey
Have to love his Fake Smile!
Getting his diploma.
Now this is a real smile! Gift certificates for free game rentals from Grammy & Papa!

Beauty in our Future!

This was taken from our porch, we get to see this beautiful sunset often, when we actually take the time to stop and look. Seeing this picture tonight reminds me of the beautfiul plan I know God has for us, i just needed to stop and look. It was a difficult day Tuesday. But after I got over it, I have felt much, much peace. We have no doubt we are next. We don't have to wonder and wait out the month to see what is going to happen. Referrals have been running on average at 4 weeks. That puts us at June 20th. I can make it till then. I see the light at the end of the tunnel. Yes, i am sad that we do not get to travel w/ some great friends we have made, but I know that this was Gods plan all along. As we have learned over and over again, our plans might not be His plans! And we will be traveling w/ a great friend I made way back at the beginning of the "process"! Stephanie is in Kansas City, so we have had the chance to meet and I swear I feel like I have known her forever!
It has been a long road. Much, much longer than we could have ever dreamed. But we are almost there! I see the finish line! Thanks for hanging in there with me. I can't wait to share my sweet, sweet Sage w/ you! Or my boy w/ no name becuase we can't agree! Time to get serious, we only have 4WEEKS!!!

Referrals are in, but not for me...

It is official, referrals have been made up to June 15th. So we missed it, again. The good news, WE ARE NEXT!!! No doubt in my mind, no wondering, we will be next. And our friends have babies on the way! So I will live through them for the next month. But oh, it is going to be a long month. My apologies in advance to those around me.

Wild Weekend & More Rumors

We had a busy, but fabulous weekend! The highlights, and more details w/ pictures to come...

• Sawyer Graduated from Pre-School on Friday morning!
  
• Celebrated at Chuck E Cheese along w/ at least 1 million other children.
  
• Drove to Kansas City in Rush hour St Louis Traffic & stayed at 2 different hotels due to our original double booking us. Thanks alot Cardinal Fans for making KC a hotel nightmare! Go Cards, anyways!
  
• Had lunch at my adoption friend Stephanies(LID 6/22) beautiful home & met her family!
• Also met adoption friend Ginger(LID 6/10) & her family. Their daughter Kiana(8) is traveling to China so we are PRAYING that we will all be together so Makenna will have a travel buddy!
• Celebrated Birthdays with my neice Tyler(4) & nephew Graham(2), saw their new home for the first time, and had lots of fun playing.
  

We have lots of great pictures so will hopefully post those over this next week. Makenna will be out of school on Thursday, and we hope that means life will slow down! HA!
Ok, on the rumor boards... Have I mentioned that I LOVE rumors when they benefit me, but boy, if they don't, I HATE THEM!!! So, Friday morning, right before I head out to Sawyer's graduation, I read a posting from Spain, saying they are cutting off at the 15th. Yes, last week spain said the 20th. They are not allowed to go backwards. NOT ALLOWED, I tell you! So which is right? I have no idea. I am literally sick to my stomach over it. Now that Makenna has met Kianna, she is sick over it! She really had a great time w/ her, and really wants to go to china w/ her. I am trying to remain calm, and remember that God is in control. I know He is, and His plan is bigger than our plan for sure. HOWEVER, I also BELIEVE that God can perform miracles here, and He can send our referral. It is going to be a long week, and I just want to get it over with, so we can know one way or the other. Is May our month? Please, oh please, oh PLEASE, let it be our month!

Let The Rumors Begin....

I am not sure if I can really get excited over this yet or not. I want to, I really really want to. However, am I setting myself up here? Rumor has it that referrals will go through June 20th. For a few days I heard through the 21st, now today Spain mentioned the 20th. And for some reason, Spain is in the know. I am praying, you know I am. With all my heart,soul and being I want it to be true. Sage is so close and I can just feel her! It is kind of like being in that last month of pregnancy. Of course I have been there for way longer than any pregnancy. but you know how it is. You are so crabby, tired of being pregnant. you signed up to have a baby, not to be fat, swollen, sleepless. You just want to see that tiny face and meet that little one who has been kicking you in the gut for the last 9 months. So maybe I don't get the big ankles, or big belly. But Sage has been kicking in my heart for well over 9 months now. She is as real to me as if she were about to come out of my own body. I could not love her anymore if she were tucked away safe inside of me. She is mine, and has been long before she probably even took her first breath. My arms ache to hold her and find out exactly who it is we have been waiting forever for. I am way beyond my 9th month of pregnancy. It is like I have been stuck in the delivery room now for months. I don't get the pleasure of an epidural to dull the "pain/wait". All natural for this baby!
So please, continue to pray for a may miracle! My fear is that they will go to the 19th of June. I am not going there. I am trusting and believing that God is going to bring a miracle, and that my time to "push" is almost here!

Are You Still Adopting?

This is a common question I have been asked recently. It is almost getting to the point where I am embarassed. Here we were last year, just sure we would have a baby by January or at least a picture. People who I have not seen in a long while, will ask, weren't you supposed to get a baby? YES we were, and YES we are, someday. I swear it is not all made up, though I am pretty sure Malaine must think we are telling a big story to her!
Now it is May. Almost 1 year ago we were mailing off our paperwork to China. But I am praying for good things this month! Monday, Malaine and I were at Target. We went down the cabbage patch aisle and she insists I read everyone's name to her. Well what do you know, the first doll she pointed at was Sage! I would have bought her if she did not have red hair and blue eyes, not the vision we have of our Sage! But I did check out her birthday which was May 23. And it went through my head, that is our referral day. Now the chances of that happening are very, very slim. But you never know I suppose. Then later that day, a laybug flew into our car! I was very much enjoying my first day of May!
Tomorrow is National Day of Prayer. On my yahoo group we have asked everyone to pray together at 9am and 6pm. Join us will you in praying for a referral to come this month!

Do you hear the music?

So I am not that great on the computer, we all know that. I can send e-mail, I can google, but I don't venture much farther than that. I was proud of myself for setting up the blog at all. I am trying to figure out how to add links to other blogs and all that fun stuff. Mark finally helped me set up music. Isn't that fun? Turn up your volume! This is our theme song right now, or one of them. Pray w/ us for a May Referral!

I hear you say your heart is aching
You've got trouble in the making
And you ask if I'll be praying for you please
And in keeping with conviction
I'll say yes with good intentions
To pray later making mention of your needs
But since we have this moment here at heaven's door
We should start knocking now, what are we waiting for?

CHORUS:
Let us pray, let us pray, everywhere in every way
Every moment of the day, it is the right time
For the Father above, He is listening with love
And He wants to answer us, so let us pray

So when we feel the Spirit moving
Prompting, prodding and behooving
There is no time to be losing, let us pray
Let the Father hear us saying
What we need to be conveying
Even while this song is playing, let us pray
And just because we say the word, "Amen"
It doesn't mean this conversationi needs to end

Let us pray, let us pray, everywhere in every way
Every moment of the day, it is the right time
Let us pray without end and when we finish start again
Like breathing out and breathing in, let us pray

Let us approach the throne of grace with confidence
As our prayers draw us near
To the One who knows our needs
Before we even call His name

Let us pray everywhere in every way
Every moment of the day, it is the right time
Let us pray without end and when we finish start again
Like breathing out and breathing in, let us pray

June Jitterbugs

I am part of a yahoo group that is made up of people from all over the world, who have a LID (log in date) from late may through early July. We are called the June Jitterbugs. Well, even though it was not me getting a referral this month, it has been very exciting in my group for that first week of June. We have lots of baby jitterbugs now! Check out the website for our group at :
www.junejitterbugs2005.homestead.com
Hopefully that will work and you can see the sweet little faces. Click on referrals and turn up your volume!

Jumping Fun!

This is our newest form of entertainment. After YEARS of Mark saying no to a trampoline, I found us a deal and he agreed. As you can see, he is enjoying it as much as the kids!
Referrals are pouring in today. They did indeed go from May 31st through June 6th. Still a long way off from June 20th. I really have no comment today. Just trying to look ahead to the end of May, and then probably the end of June, and who knows, it might even be the end of July. Sigh...

Rumor Time

Well it is that time of the month. Rumors say that referrals are ready to be mailed and that they are going up to June 6th. Better than May 31st, the original rumor. But that is only 4 days of LID's they did in an entire month.
Just a quick lesson on how exactly referrals work. Once a month, typically the end of the month, China mails over ALL referrals. So everyone across the globe gets their referrals at the same time. Our agency might get on average around 30-50 at a time. Not sure how many come over a month as a whole. And they go by calendar of when you have a LID. (log in date) this is when your paperwork was logged in to china. Our date is June 20th. So they go through in order and end w/ a certain LID. If rumor is true, they will be sending referrals over from May 31st up to June 6th. So then we wait another month, and see how many days of June they make it till. At this rate, not such good news for me. And I am not happy. I am starting to panic because if we end up not traveling till August, we chance missing either Sawyers birthday or his first day of kindergarten. Very big deals to me.
Your guess is as good as mine. I am tired of the wait, really tired. And I am just having a hard time seeing the end in sight. Our paperwork went over to China last May. So we are nearing one year of waiting. I just can't believe it. I am trying to make sense of the lesson God is trying to teach me. Really, I am....

Sick of Sickness

Yes, I am sick again. Stomach flu. I guess from Makenna who had it 11 days ago. Is that possible? I started late last night. During the middle of tornado warnings, might i add. And of course Mark is out of town. I was debating on what to do. The wind was so strong, the lightening neverending. Do I wake up the kids, take them to the basement and bring down a bucket for me? Thankfully it blew over before i had to do that. And you know what I was worried about? Our new trampoline blowing away. The kids would have died if they lost their new favorite toy. Me to. I have waited about 20 years to get a trampoline. It is great exercise for all of us. So why am I so sick every month? I am starting to see a trend. Always happens the end of the month, which is when rumors begin for referrals. Is it connected? You have to wonder. I am tired of being sick. I am tired of waiting for my baby. I am just plain tired. I think I need a shopping weekend again!

Happy Easter!

Makenna waving her palm branch at church as "Jesus" came in on the donkey.
Cousin Fun!

Sawyer singing in the childrens choir at church.


Daddy picked out the Easter outfits this year. Didn't he do good?


Is it Christmas or Easter? Lots of FUN!

I am OVER the hill and losing my mind!

Last year I turned 30, and it was ok. I knew I had to be 30 to move forward w/ our adoption, that is the rule in China. I guess at 30 they consider you mature enough to parent. And i remember turning 30 and thinking, I will have 4 children before I turn 31. Well yesterday I turned 31. And guess what? Yes, I am still waiting. But it is ok. I HAVE a child out there, and she was born before I was 31. And I WILL HAVE HER HOME BEFORE I AM 32!! Oh can you even imagine? I don't know, at the rate we are going I am starting to think Makenna might be old enough to adopt her own baby by the time we get to China! So what does a Mommy do to celebrate her birthday? Spend the day at Chuck E cheese of course! Makenna is on spring break, and that was one of her requests for the week. It just worked out for us to go yesterday. Actually it worked out great. It was empty there. The kids played, I sat and read for awhile. Then Mark took us to dinner at the Macaroni Grill. YUM! So 31. I can't believe I am 31. Just writing that makes me feel OLD! ;)
No new rumors in adoption world. Which is fine w/ me. I refuse to listen to ANY rumors at all. Life is so busy here. Makenna just got over stomach flu. We are way to sick to go to China! It is just one thing after another. I swear, I do clean my house. The smell of lysol is crazy here. That is all you can smell. Well that and the burnt toothbrushes. I am having an issue w/ the toothbrushes. You know we have all been ill, alot. And if you know me, you know I am NOT a cheap person, really I enjoy spending $!! So instead of buying new toothbrushes at every illness, I have tried to boil them. But no more. Last night we were watching a movie, and all of a sudden I asked my family if they smelled anything. No of course they don't they never do. Then I look over and notice smoke. Let me tell you, it still did not hit me that I had started boiling those toothbrushes like an hour before! Finally Mark does smell it and we all jump up to find our toothbrushes liquified. And burnt onto the bottom of my last good pan. Because I already did this during one of our rounds of strep and ruined another pan. After we threw the pan outside, aired the house out which took forever and I can still smell the burn plastic smell now, Mark says" I am pretty sure new toothbrushes would be ALOT cheaper than new pots and pans. " I guess the mind is the first thing to go...

Mark's Out of the Closet!

Mark's office is FINALLY complete! Many thanks to his dad for all the work he did to get Mark down there. It turned out really great. Mark lay the ceramic tile and moved the furniture right in. We are not decorating till we go shopping in China!

Sawyers Cat Song

Sawyer has decided he wants a cat. We had a cat, and I am not going to go into the story about him as the children still believe he ran away and that is that! So we have been cat free for 2 years now, I doubt Sawyer can even remember much about Zoey. For whatever reason, he insists we must have a cat. Now. Every day we get to hear how miserable he is because he does not have a cat. How mean we are because we got Makenna a dog, but won't get him a cat. Which I say he has a point there, a very small point. In some ways I would rather have a cat than a dog, but I digress. Mark says no cat. He did the litter box before and so he says never again. And there is no way i want a kitten w/ a new baby, on top of 4 kids, a dog etc.. So if you are reading this and feeling sorry for Sawyer, NO FREE KITTENS, thank you very much! I wish I could have done video of him and his "song". He makes quite the one man band. He is loud and he is determined. His words are along these lines.." I WANT A CAT THE CAT NEEDS A FAMILY AND WANTS OUR FAMILY I WANT A CAT". I say, how about a Sage? ;)