First, I am trying to figure out how to add something to the blog that lets people sign up to get email updates when I update. I am not sure about the whole following thing because for me, I forget to go to my dashboard and I am more likely to check my emails. Plus half that read my blog are not bloggers. SOOO, if you have any clue what I am talking about and can help me, please do!
I was tagged on facebook to do a list of 25 random things about me. I always think these are kind of fun, kind of therapeutic. Since half of you don't do facebook, thought I would post it here and hopefully get to know some of you better on your own blogs! Or facebook, wherever you choose to hang out. Or if you are like me and and hang out on both, copy it on both! That is just sad, I need a life outside of my computer.
Rules:Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.
1. Daughter of the King and saved by His grace.
.2. Married an amazing man at 19 years old who still spoils me. We celebrate 15 years this year! I am so thankful that he is mine.
3. Always wanted to give birth and adopt and have a large family.
4. I often wonder how many more we will have before we are "done". (we have 5 now)
5. I have never seen a more clear glimpse of my Heavenly Father as I saw in China. Twice.
6. I think that every christian should adopt. Or at least be willing to ask God and listen.
7. I think that this drives my friends crazy and that they obviously do not all agree with me.
8. I have met some of my closest friends online, because of adoption.
9. I have a battle going in with myself about getting healthy. l want to eat right. No I don't really. I want to get in shape. No I don't really. Because I would rather blog and eat chocolate than exercise and eat right.
10. I am still in shock that my newest daughter is having open heart surgery next week and wish I could take her place.
11. I only listen to christian music. It helps me stay focused on God and spend time in worship to Him.
12. I like to cook, but do not like to serve my picky children who do not appreciate my cooking. They just want easy. You know, chicken nuggets, pizza, mac & cheese...
13. I want to be more organized, I know it would help our life be less stressful.
14. I love to read and go from book to book. I will read anything.
15. I am thankful to stay home with my children and look forward to homeschooling again in the fall. I think! ;-)
16. I have a new best friend named Rosie who is a robot that scrubs my tile floors. She is working while I type, isn't that so nice?
17. I miss China and would willingly move there for a season if the Lord called. But if He calls I pray that He calls my entire family to go along.
18. I am very close to my entire extended family.
19. I stay up way to late. And struggle to get up.
20. I love to write and for that reason love my blog, for me. I don't even care if anyone else reads it.
21. Drink a supersize Diet Coke from McDonalds almost every day. Bad, really bad. (see #9)
22. I am a more strict mom than I imagined I would be. I am ok with that.
23. I would like to "get into" photography and sewing. I have a nice camera and a new sewing machine and need to learn to use both.
24. I am thankful for a wonderful Christian Heritage.
25. Every night, after the kids are finally asleep, Mark and I sit w/ our laptops watching reality TV. Biggest Loser is our favorite. Sad? With 5 children it is called RELAXATION!
** I am tagging everyone that reads my blog! Leave me a comment if you do it please.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Adoption Cards!
In honor of my brother in laws birthday today, thought I would share some of his amazing creativity with you! He lives in Kansas City, Mo and does many jobs. He works at a church full time, but also does photography. I wanted to pass on his information, in case you are interested. He will do cards for you if you need them for adoption, baby, graduation, etc.. And the quality is really good. He is very patient. (you know he is if he does them for me!) And you don't' have to live in KC, you can do everything through email. BUT, if you live close enough to have him do your photos, I promise you will have a fun time! You can check out his website by going here . And if you want a sample, I still have lots of cards left, I can mail you one of ours!
**Pictures are Sage(just some he took at the kids birthday party last summer) along with my niece Tyler and nephew Graham.
Happy Birthday Brett! (as if he reads the blog, doubtful!) ;0)
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
First Day of many things
Tuesday was crazy outfit day. Lots of patterns going on.
Not crazy outfit day for the older kids. Doesn't she look to old?
I asked Makenna if I could take a picture of her sitting at her desk and was promptly told no. No cameras allowed at all. So sad not to get a picture under the Victory sign. Maybe we will drive over on a saturday..
Crazy outfit day, I do realize he does not match.
How do you like that face? Yesterday sure was a busy historic day wasn't it? For more reason than one.
First day of school~~My kids started back to school. I do not like getting up when it is still dark outside. That is just not normal. They popped out of bed easier than me I think. They were very excited, maybe a little nervous. Drop off went well. Well besides Sage, who is comfortable no matter where we go. So while I am chatting with Sawyers teacher, Sage decides to visit each of the classrooms. And I had to drag her out of kindergarten with bribes of going to McDonalds because she " really wants to go to school". Or everyone trying to say hi to Mavery but she was in a mood, (which she often is) and so was swinging at anyone who dared come near her. This was after she had spent the ENTIRE drive to school screaming because Sage had her glove and the older 3 are looking at me with pity but excitement to get away from the madness!
Both of the children have new teachers (new since we have left) and I was excited to meet both of them. They were very welcoming and sweet. Makennas teacher is concerned about her math so Mark took them today to talk to her about it. Makenna does not like math, it is just not natural for her as it is for her father. (he is seriously like a walking calculator) She gave Mark the workbook they have been doing and Mark felt better. She is only behind what they are doing by a few lessons. (which makes sense with us going to china and maverys surgery). But they are using a different curriculum so there are some things they do differently. He has already been making up some worksheets for her to do. ;0)
Sawyer, I think will be fine. I am excited for someone else to reinforce the things I have to argue with him about. (handwriting, he claims a waste of time, when he will just use his computer someday) and spelling. He can't find an argument for that one, (& I have not mentioned spell check) but he does not like it. However, he is strong in math and is a good reader. (go figure, can't spell but reads well, odd?)
I remembered though all the reasons I am not crazy about school. I lose SO much time a day with them! And what time you do have, is not the most quality. They all come in at 4pm. You are trying to get homework done, dinner made, hear about each of their day. Then add into that evening activities (things I am not with them for, karate, awana) To get up for school my children have to be in bed BY 8pm. So I barely get 4 hours a night, and I have to fit all those things into that time. Homeschooling gives you much more time with your children, there is no doubt. BUT, I still know we are in the right place for right now and I am sure we will all settle back into routine of school quickly. Hopefully.
First time for our new president~~ I hate to admit that I had no idea yesterday was even THE day, till I was on the phone with a homeschool friend who talked about all the lessons her kids were getting from it. So I turned on in time to watch. Wished I could have been with my kids to talk about it, as they came home to inform me about "the boring movie they watched about the new President". Though they did learn plenty, so bored or not they were fine. You know, he was not my vote and I still have my concerns. However, he is my president and I will respect him. And pray hard.
First time Amy (my cousin in law)found out~~That she is having a baby girl! Since we do girls so well in this family, it was no surprise to us that she will be having her third girl! Sawyer did cry, but that partly might have been because I told him during spelling practice. I reminded him that he is not going to be best friends with a baby 9 years younger than him, but "it is the injustice of it all. ALL these girls, never a new boy. "I told him he just needed to start praying that TJ & Amy either adopt a 9 year old boy or that we do. Who knows what God has in store for this family. But we do know that a sweet new girl WILL join us in June! Very exciting. And I sure love playing the name game you know.
I have quite a few things to post, hopefully will get caught up tomorrow.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Yes Man
Friday night Mark and I had a date night. He wanted to see a movie, I agreed as long as it was A. not sad B. Did not involve thinking C. Made me laugh D. you get the point.
So, our options were limited. Yes Man was the only thing and we saw that. I did not think it was bad. It was Jim Carey, so a little raunchy, a little corny, but exactly what I was looking for. (not that I was looking for raunchy, oh you know what I mean!!)
The point of the movie is that basically he is a negative person, always saying no. Then he takes this pledge that he is going to say yes, no matter what. And how sometimes saying yes, even when we do not want to, leads us to unexpected blessings.
Point taken. And though I hate to admit I learned anything from Jim Carey, isn't it true?
How many times a day, do I say no to my children automatically?
How many times do I say no to helping others out because I am to busy, to tired, to many kids?
What would life be like if I said yes to everything? Now if you have seen the movie, you know there are things he said yes to, that were not so good. And there are many things that I have said no to even in the past year, that were right to say no to. I have stepped back from alot of things that I enjoyed doing, but know that saying no was good for the season I am in.
However, I know that I say no many times I should say yes. How many things does God ask of me that I am quick to say no?
I know I really want to say no to what we are facing next week. I do not want to put Mavery through any of that. Or me either!
But in saying that, aren't I saying that I wish I had said no a year ago when I saw her? Wouldn't life be easier now if I had said no then?
Of course it would be easier, but it would not be right.
I said yes, and Mark said yes. We agreed this is our daughter, no matter the cost. No matter what we go through or she goes through, she is ours. Even now, there is no doubt. I have never once questioned if we did the right thing.
Instead I have been that much more thankful for the way the Father brought her to us. Of course we were shocked that her heart was so much more serious than we expected. Yet I know that there were reasons that was not in her report.
We needed to say yes. We need her as our daughter, our sister, as a part of this family.
It was almost a no. And now, look at her! She is here and we are going to help her be healed.
So, as I think of being a "yes man" and how close we came to saying no, and now seeing the blessing we would have missed, I hope I can remember to slow down, and remember, God might have bigger blessings waiting that can't even begin to comprehend!
And I hope that next week, as I send my daughter off to surgery, and spend a week living in the hospital with her, He will open my eyes to whatever it is He wants me to see through this. And that I will say yes with a smile.
So, our options were limited. Yes Man was the only thing and we saw that. I did not think it was bad. It was Jim Carey, so a little raunchy, a little corny, but exactly what I was looking for. (not that I was looking for raunchy, oh you know what I mean!!)
The point of the movie is that basically he is a negative person, always saying no. Then he takes this pledge that he is going to say yes, no matter what. And how sometimes saying yes, even when we do not want to, leads us to unexpected blessings.
Point taken. And though I hate to admit I learned anything from Jim Carey, isn't it true?
How many times a day, do I say no to my children automatically?
How many times do I say no to helping others out because I am to busy, to tired, to many kids?
What would life be like if I said yes to everything? Now if you have seen the movie, you know there are things he said yes to, that were not so good. And there are many things that I have said no to even in the past year, that were right to say no to. I have stepped back from alot of things that I enjoyed doing, but know that saying no was good for the season I am in.
However, I know that I say no many times I should say yes. How many things does God ask of me that I am quick to say no?
I know I really want to say no to what we are facing next week. I do not want to put Mavery through any of that. Or me either!
But in saying that, aren't I saying that I wish I had said no a year ago when I saw her? Wouldn't life be easier now if I had said no then?
Of course it would be easier, but it would not be right.
I said yes, and Mark said yes. We agreed this is our daughter, no matter the cost. No matter what we go through or she goes through, she is ours. Even now, there is no doubt. I have never once questioned if we did the right thing.
Instead I have been that much more thankful for the way the Father brought her to us. Of course we were shocked that her heart was so much more serious than we expected. Yet I know that there were reasons that was not in her report.
We needed to say yes. We need her as our daughter, our sister, as a part of this family.
It was almost a no. And now, look at her! She is here and we are going to help her be healed.
So, as I think of being a "yes man" and how close we came to saying no, and now seeing the blessing we would have missed, I hope I can remember to slow down, and remember, God might have bigger blessings waiting that can't even begin to comprehend!
And I hope that next week, as I send my daughter off to surgery, and spend a week living in the hospital with her, He will open my eyes to whatever it is He wants me to see through this. And that I will say yes with a smile.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Spotlight Sunday~~Sawyer
Sawyer is such a sweet soul. You would think, being the only boy in a house of 4 sisters would be rough. But he never ever complains. Though he does ask if we are going to get him a brother soon. "9 years old please that does not like sports but loves video & board games." As if we could special order one right from China. ;0) He is not into sports, the boy does not have a competitive bone in his body. He will happily watch sports and enjoys keeping track of points and plays, but to play himself, not interested. Which is fine with me.
He has such a tender heart and can't stand for anyone to be sad or hurt. The thought of his baby sister in the hospital is not good for him. He has said he will not come visit her because he does not want to see her like that. He about passes out when anyone gets a papercut, so he will see Mavery upon her homecoming!
He is typically the one to jump in when a sister is crying to make her stop. He adores his older sister (I wish she could realize this). He has a very special and close bond with Malaine, those 2 can play together for hours and they have missed each other since she went to school! And I love seeing him play with the little ones. So sweet and I know they will always think their big brother is the best!
He has the best sense of humor and always makes us laugh. He is just naturally funny, with out even meaning to be. You can't get mad at him, you typically end up giggling when you try to get on him.
I know that someday he is going to make an amazing husband and father. But for now I am thankful to have him as my son, my only boy. The one who still holds my hand when we are out in public and lets me hug on him without flinching. The one who is WAY better at anything electronic in this house than I am. Thankful for my boy!
**The above photos were taken from Makennas camera. He let her do a "photoshoot". So funny!
Friday, January 16, 2009
Sweet Jinhua BOYS!!! & a prayer request
Remember when we visited Maverys orphanage and were able to hug on 2 sweet boys? Well they are FINALLY in their mamas arms! I have loved getting up and reading all about their adventures this week and meant to post for you the links to their sites. Benjamin, the little guy, you can find their site by clicking here. And if that does not work you can type in www.vedderfamily.com Nathans family is here or www.underthemistymountain.blogspot.com.
The really cool thing is that they were able to spend so much more time visiting with Mr Jin (the assistant director that I had talked about) They refer to him as Uncle Jin and he asked Cythina to bookmark all our blogs on his computer for him. How sweet is that?! I hate that our visit was so short with him and at the SWI that day. Benjamin has done AMAZING, way more calm than Mavery was! So if you get a chance, go on over and see those cute boys with their families. Vedder Family has some wonderful pictures of their day at Jinhua and the sweet children still waiting. One waiting for heart surgery. ;-(
On another adoption note, there is a blog that I read that always inspires me. They have adopted many children. In fact just returned from Africa with 2 babies, while waiting for their daughter to come home from China! Their home burned to the ground this week, and they need our prayers. Please visit their blog here at http://aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com/
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Hair, shots and life..
Kind of random, actually, I guess I tend to be random! And these are not great pictures, but you can see the hair!
- I finally went to visit my hair friend tonight. Remember the whole budget thing? Well, I attempted to cut Malaines bangs myself. And after the kids laughed hysterically at her and then asked me about the black stripe down the center of my hair, I figured we had to get professional help. So I told Gina I need something besides blond. While I like it, to high maintenance and since I barely have time to do, ANYTHING, I need to not have black stripes. So we covered up lots of blond, threw in some red and in her words it looks like a cherry cola candycane! ;0) I think next time I will go for bigger chunks of red, I like it.
- Had our whooping cough shot today. Oh there is a professional name for it, but I can't remember what that would be. There is a combo, but that is a new thing and so when we had tetanus in 2006, they did not combine. And now they only have combined. So now we have double tetanus in us. And it hurts worse than the flu shot and I have a headache. Of course that might be from having kids.
- We got the letter for Maverys pre-op appointment on the 27th. Looks like another fun filled day at the hospital. We have appointments starting at 10, the last at one, followed by a meeting with the surgeon and a visit of where we will be. I think this time I will pack Mavery a lunch. And m&m's, lots of bribing going on I am sure.
- Makenna had molds made yesterday at the orthodontist. She will be getting braces on sometime in the next month or so. So saving money is honestly just a joke this year.
- I ventured to the mall with the kids today. Yes, I know, coldest day and all that. But, we NEVER leave the house, and we were ready from going out for shots. I was on a mission to find Mavery a cute robe for the hospital. I found one. Not that cute, but do you know robes are just not easy to find! Clearance though, I like that. I do NOT like shopping with kids. Try taking your kids out shopping that are older and should be at school, along with 2 chinese girls dressed alike. It takes a long time to walk as you are asked this..
- Is school out?
- Why are they not in school?
- Is it a day off?
- Are they twins?
- Are they biological sisters?
- Are they yours?
- Are they related to each other?
- how are they so close in age?
- And I don't mind questions at all, but if you know me you know I tend to be very open which means it takes a long time to tell that story. Which then reminds me why shopping alone is so much more fun.
- Talked to my friend today, her daughter had open heart surgery 2 years ago. She spent 2 weeks in the hospital. I am sure hoping we are home in the 5ish day range. It was good to get details.
- I think that sums up life here this week!
Back to School
As you can imagine, it has been rough going with homeschool last week after Maverys procedure. We began to think about the upcoming surgery, and we began to panic. We knew it would mean at least 2 weeks off of school, if not more. Now, I am laid back about our schooling, and missing here and there does not throw me off. That is one thing I love about being home, I do not set a deadline for us to be done, we just do as we need. However, between traveling to China then these times we will need for Mavery, it is getting harder. Mark suggested public school but that still did not sit right with me and now seems a bad time to start in a brand new school. If my children are going to be in the public school, I want to be IN the school to, if that makes sense. And obviously there is no way that can happen right now.
So add this stress of school to the stress of surgery, on top of the stress of taking care of 2 toddlers, it has been rough.
Our parents, both sides, came up with a solution for us. They are sending our children back to Victory Christian School. For this year. A place where we are all comfortable and know. A place I have no fears about and a place that will pray with us through this hard time.
We are humbled and both of us have been in tears for their sacrifice to do this to help us. I know it is not easy for them, but they have once again embraced us and just stepped in where we really need it. My dad, who has been bringing Malaine home, will now bring all 3 home. He even drives over to get her on his days off, or my mom will go so I do not have to mess up naptime here. Yep, we are spoiled.
The kids, of course are excited. Though a little nervous about homework and schedules and things like that! We had them tested this week, and thankfully they are still letting them back! hehe!
And while I am excited and know that for now this is the best solution, I am a little sad. I know to some it sounds crazy, but I enjoy my children being home, I feel better when they are close by. And I still believe in all the reasons that I brought them home for in the first place. I think that God has called us to have them home, so part of me struggles with sending them out. While there have been MANY days I have questioned if I am equipped to do this, He has confirmed over and over that I am. While there have been days I think it is ruining the relationship between Makenna and I, I have also seen it grow and strengthen. She has changed so much since being home, and really for the better.
But, with 2 toddlers in the house and one who is going to need ALL my time coming up, I know that this is just for the best right now. Since Maverys heart cath, she has gone back to velcro baby, like when we got home from China. She hangs on my leg, she hangs on to my pockets as I walk, she sits on my lap when I sit to teach. And I don't want to sound like I am complaining, but sometimes, you just want to potty in private! I know that this is only going to get worse after surgery. I feel as if I just have to give to the little ones right now all my attention during the day. And try to keep my sanity in the process.
So, next week, back to school for the oldest 2. Malaine has done great and is enjoying kindergarten. Victory is small, so there is just one class per grade. Makenna and Sawyer are both excited to be back with their friends. I am sure they are secretly crying tears about leaving their mom! Yeah right! ;0)
So add this stress of school to the stress of surgery, on top of the stress of taking care of 2 toddlers, it has been rough.
Our parents, both sides, came up with a solution for us. They are sending our children back to Victory Christian School. For this year. A place where we are all comfortable and know. A place I have no fears about and a place that will pray with us through this hard time.
We are humbled and both of us have been in tears for their sacrifice to do this to help us. I know it is not easy for them, but they have once again embraced us and just stepped in where we really need it. My dad, who has been bringing Malaine home, will now bring all 3 home. He even drives over to get her on his days off, or my mom will go so I do not have to mess up naptime here. Yep, we are spoiled.
The kids, of course are excited. Though a little nervous about homework and schedules and things like that! We had them tested this week, and thankfully they are still letting them back! hehe!
And while I am excited and know that for now this is the best solution, I am a little sad. I know to some it sounds crazy, but I enjoy my children being home, I feel better when they are close by. And I still believe in all the reasons that I brought them home for in the first place. I think that God has called us to have them home, so part of me struggles with sending them out. While there have been MANY days I have questioned if I am equipped to do this, He has confirmed over and over that I am. While there have been days I think it is ruining the relationship between Makenna and I, I have also seen it grow and strengthen. She has changed so much since being home, and really for the better.
But, with 2 toddlers in the house and one who is going to need ALL my time coming up, I know that this is just for the best right now. Since Maverys heart cath, she has gone back to velcro baby, like when we got home from China. She hangs on my leg, she hangs on to my pockets as I walk, she sits on my lap when I sit to teach. And I don't want to sound like I am complaining, but sometimes, you just want to potty in private! I know that this is only going to get worse after surgery. I feel as if I just have to give to the little ones right now all my attention during the day. And try to keep my sanity in the process.
So, next week, back to school for the oldest 2. Malaine has done great and is enjoying kindergarten. Victory is small, so there is just one class per grade. Makenna and Sawyer are both excited to be back with their friends. I am sure they are secretly crying tears about leaving their mom! Yeah right! ;0)
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Maverys Blog
Pictures from when we got home from the hospital last week. Looking pretty drugged.
These were the day after, she is looking much better, and happy to have the pacifier!
Still not looking like herself though.
I took these of her leg just this weekend. She is so bruised up as you can see. You can kind of see between her fingers where they went in. Such tiny pin prick holes, how do they get a tube through that? Crazy. She was still covered in the tape marks because she could not take a bath yet to soak that all off.
I added some pictures of Mavery over on her blog, just click here .Today we celebrate 3 months together, can you believe it? In honor of 3 months, Mark and I got flu shots. Just kidding, that was not in honor of, it was because our doctor told us we should do that for Maverys safety after surgery. It hurt! No wonder our kids scream about shots! ;0) We are hoping that since we had tetanus shots for the adoption, that covers our whooping cough that they recommend. We think they are in one shot? Checking on that tomorrow. Still have another post with some news to share, but I am to tired. Tomorrow, I promise.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Surgery is Set
Maverys open heart surgery is scheduled for Wednesday January 28th. They said forget the immunizations. Something along the lines of if you do not have them in your system for 6 weeks, once they put her on the bypass machine they are all wiped out. So, a little scary, but not as scary as waiting for surgery. We will just have to use alot of caution with germs. I have more to write about, it has been an eventful day. But I have 3 little girls putting on a show for me that I must watch!
The Doctor Called
He said after reviewing Maverys scans again, they want to do the surgery with in the next 4-8 weeks. I asked if there was fear this aneurysm could burst, he said not right now, but if you ignore it, yes it could. He said we could have the surgery as early as next week if we wanted to. We will get a call from the hospital to schedule it this week.
We had only done one round of immunizations so far, so he said we need to try to get some of those in. However, they have to be soon enough that they are not active in her system while she is in the hospital. The pediatrician has squeezed us in tomorrow, so we will discuss what we HAVE to have. I guess whooping cough is going around pretty bad right now, the heart doctor asked us to get a booster for that along with a flu shot. He also said we can skip all the shots and just get surgery first, whatever we are most comfortable with.
Mark and I think we want the surgery to happen either the last week of January or the first week of February. His brother is also scheduled for a major surgery the first week of February, so it is going to be challenging. But we are just not comfortable to wait longer than that. To go from telling us a week ago we could put it off till summer, to now telling me to have it done with in 2 months, and as soon as next week if we choose, I don't feel we can wait. Or that we should wait. Emotionally, we need to get it done as much as anything.
Thank you for praying. I have more thoughts on my heart, but just can't express them right now.
We had only done one round of immunizations so far, so he said we need to try to get some of those in. However, they have to be soon enough that they are not active in her system while she is in the hospital. The pediatrician has squeezed us in tomorrow, so we will discuss what we HAVE to have. I guess whooping cough is going around pretty bad right now, the heart doctor asked us to get a booster for that along with a flu shot. He also said we can skip all the shots and just get surgery first, whatever we are most comfortable with.
Mark and I think we want the surgery to happen either the last week of January or the first week of February. His brother is also scheduled for a major surgery the first week of February, so it is going to be challenging. But we are just not comfortable to wait longer than that. To go from telling us a week ago we could put it off till summer, to now telling me to have it done with in 2 months, and as soon as next week if we choose, I don't feel we can wait. Or that we should wait. Emotionally, we need to get it done as much as anything.
Thank you for praying. I have more thoughts on my heart, but just can't express them right now.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Spotlight Sunday~~Sage
I know that I am bad about including things about all the kids at times, so I am going to attempt on Sundays to spotlight one of the children. Hopefully with my new blogging challenge to myself, it will happen more than Sundays, but here is a start.
Who is Chinese? (and please no comments about me ruining my children by pointing out if anyone is chinese or not. Some of us are chinese, some are not, it is the truth. ;0) )
Yesterday we were sitting around at dinner and something was said about Chinese. Here was our conversation..
Me: Sage, who is Chinese?
Sage: Mavery is Chinese.
Me: Is Sage chinese?
Sage: No, but ChenYiMae is. (this is her middle name)
Me: Who is ChenYiMae?
Sage: Mavery is.
Hmmmm...
Me: Sage, does anyone in this house look like Mavery does?
Sage: Looks around, "No, no one does" And then goes right on eating.
I wish you could have a conversation with my Sage, it is a treat for sure!
I have to get her favorite music video up soon, it is the cutest thing ever. Oh and she is learning the books of the bible, hearing her say Deuteronomy is hilarious! Go Ms Danielle! You are doing an amazing job with her in Sunday School!
Thursday, January 08, 2009
I will not leave you as orphans....
**Update**I totally agree, it is so hard not having a name and just saying that blog girl I read about! As I listened to the song on my playlist by Selah and thought about Gods Glory, I thought it was fitting. We want Gods Glory to shine. So I will refer to her as Glory. Also, she does have a scholarship for school, she has been attending Southern Seminary in Louisville. So school is not an issue. Healthcare is. Thank you for praying and I will keep you updated.
Can we adopt a 27 year old? This is the question I posed to Mark recently. And to be honest, he did not roll his eyes at me and say no as you might expect.
I have been throwing this post around in my head and heart for a few weeks now. Since I found out some news that has made me sad all the way to my soul.
Let me back up to early 2008. My brother brought a group of friends home, here, to celebrate Chinese New Year with us. He has a group of friends from all different parts of Asia. And you know we do love Asia. Plus we love a party. Some might think we adopted chinese kids just so we could add a whole new set of celebrations to our family, because we like to party so much.
This is not a funny blog post, I promise. But that was a joke. This is long, but please stay with me.
So my brother brings home friends, and we had a whole bunch of fun. That is when I officially met Esther and threatened my brothers life if he let her go! ;0) Thankfully so far she is still around. He knows big sister knows best.
Along with Esther there were a few girls who stayed at our house the weekend. I love meeting new people and hearing their stories. There was one girl , who I was not so sure she liked me that much. She was quiet, with me anyways. She was not as open. And since I am obviously a spill my guts type of girl, did not get to know her as well as I would have liked. Probably the spilling my guts scared her off?
Then we visited Shane at school a few months later. And that particular girl made us a cake when we came. Which I just thought was so sweet. And proved maybe she did not think I was as nuts as I thought she thought I was. Then when it came time for me to travel to China this time, we emailed back and forth a few times while she helped me in looking at Shanghai hotels. She was so kind and though I know she really probably thought of us as spoiled Americans when it came to hotels, she was just helpful.
I had not heard anything from her and a few weeks ago my brother mentioned in a conversation that she had to go back to Asia recently.
Because she was sick.
Because she has cancer.
Which of course made me sad and shocked. But then I found out that she is an orphan.
And that still makes me catch my breath to say that. She, obviously, did not want me to know. She is very private, which is why I am not going to use her name. And probably just writing this blog would upset her.
But I can't NOT write it.
So she is back in Asia, because she is going through chemotherapy and the government pays for this. She is alone. From what I understand living in the hospital.
With no one. And it is bad. There are details that have made me weep, but I do not feel I can share.
Now obviously, my heart is for orphans. But this just put a whole new twist on it. It is so easy for us to think that we SHOULD adopt, because those kids need families. But how often do we look beyond those kids. And what actually becomes of them as they become an adult, who never had a family?
Well, this is what happens. They grow up, they are alone. They get cancer and they go through chemo alone. No one to take them to an appointment and holds their hand as hair falls out. No to to encourage them, love them, even when they are not the same on the outside anymore.
I look at my little girls and I think, what if?? And how many more are out there, who won't be adopted who will LIVE that kind of future.
I realize that there are many people who go through chemo, and maybe they don't have a mother anymore. But to have NEVER known a family? To have never had a mom to tell you it is going to be ok? To not be able to look back on those memories of being loved deeply.
There has been a part of me that has thought I am supposed to get on a plane and go to her. Which is ridiculous because if you knew her, you would know she would not want me there. And obviously I have a new child here who needs me right now.
There is a part of me that wonders, why does it hurt ME so much? Others can hear a story like this and think, oh that is sad, and go on. Why for me does it haunt me day in and day out with my mind working in overtime trying to figure out how to help? Wondering if you CAN adopt 27 year olds. Wondering how I can save the world and make sure that no children live with out love?
What does God think in these situations? What would He have us do as Christians? These thoughts have gone round and round in my head. Can we adopt a 27 year old? Do people do that? Do you think she would agree to wear matching dresses with her 4 sisters? hehe, kidding, of course. Mark, being oh so practical said" You can't adopt 27 year olds. And you can't get her on your insurance. And if we suggested we wanted her, she would probably run, she KNOWS our family!"
Now, one thing I would like to see happen, is for her to at least be able to come back to the states and go to seminary. That is where her life is now. I have been online trying to look for options. Do hospitals take on cancer patients for FREE? Obviously, she is not a US citizen. How could all of that work? There must be a solution? And in between learning all I can about Maverys heart, homeschooling the kids, and keeping up with life, I am trying to find that solution. If you know of any cancer centers in Louisville, Ky, can you help me?
I often hear the discussion, is adoption for everyone? Should we all adopt? Obviously, most people don't think so and I am not here to really argue about that right now. Yet I can't help but think of this sweet girl and what would have happened had someone not been to busy, to tired, found the money, found the time, found it in their hearts to say yes.
I know many of you are prayer warriors and I ask you to add this friend to your prayer list. She may not know the love of a mother, or a family. But my prayer is that she will feel the love of the Lord surrounding her. That she will know that there are moms out there who do love her and are carrying her in thoughts and prayers through this horrible time. She is good friends with Esther, so I know she has wonderful friends who love her. Here, not there of course.
One verse that I cling to for her is this. John 14:18 "I will not leave you as orphans, I will come for you." I know that He has a plan for her and that He loves her.
But oh how I wish she had a mama....
Can we adopt a 27 year old? This is the question I posed to Mark recently. And to be honest, he did not roll his eyes at me and say no as you might expect.
I have been throwing this post around in my head and heart for a few weeks now. Since I found out some news that has made me sad all the way to my soul.
Let me back up to early 2008. My brother brought a group of friends home, here, to celebrate Chinese New Year with us. He has a group of friends from all different parts of Asia. And you know we do love Asia. Plus we love a party. Some might think we adopted chinese kids just so we could add a whole new set of celebrations to our family, because we like to party so much.
This is not a funny blog post, I promise. But that was a joke. This is long, but please stay with me.
So my brother brings home friends, and we had a whole bunch of fun. That is when I officially met Esther and threatened my brothers life if he let her go! ;0) Thankfully so far she is still around. He knows big sister knows best.
Along with Esther there were a few girls who stayed at our house the weekend. I love meeting new people and hearing their stories. There was one girl , who I was not so sure she liked me that much. She was quiet, with me anyways. She was not as open. And since I am obviously a spill my guts type of girl, did not get to know her as well as I would have liked. Probably the spilling my guts scared her off?
Then we visited Shane at school a few months later. And that particular girl made us a cake when we came. Which I just thought was so sweet. And proved maybe she did not think I was as nuts as I thought she thought I was. Then when it came time for me to travel to China this time, we emailed back and forth a few times while she helped me in looking at Shanghai hotels. She was so kind and though I know she really probably thought of us as spoiled Americans when it came to hotels, she was just helpful.
I had not heard anything from her and a few weeks ago my brother mentioned in a conversation that she had to go back to Asia recently.
Because she was sick.
Because she has cancer.
Which of course made me sad and shocked. But then I found out that she is an orphan.
And that still makes me catch my breath to say that. She, obviously, did not want me to know. She is very private, which is why I am not going to use her name. And probably just writing this blog would upset her.
But I can't NOT write it.
So she is back in Asia, because she is going through chemotherapy and the government pays for this. She is alone. From what I understand living in the hospital.
With no one. And it is bad. There are details that have made me weep, but I do not feel I can share.
Now obviously, my heart is for orphans. But this just put a whole new twist on it. It is so easy for us to think that we SHOULD adopt, because those kids need families. But how often do we look beyond those kids. And what actually becomes of them as they become an adult, who never had a family?
Well, this is what happens. They grow up, they are alone. They get cancer and they go through chemo alone. No one to take them to an appointment and holds their hand as hair falls out. No to to encourage them, love them, even when they are not the same on the outside anymore.
I look at my little girls and I think, what if?? And how many more are out there, who won't be adopted who will LIVE that kind of future.
I realize that there are many people who go through chemo, and maybe they don't have a mother anymore. But to have NEVER known a family? To have never had a mom to tell you it is going to be ok? To not be able to look back on those memories of being loved deeply.
There has been a part of me that has thought I am supposed to get on a plane and go to her. Which is ridiculous because if you knew her, you would know she would not want me there. And obviously I have a new child here who needs me right now.
There is a part of me that wonders, why does it hurt ME so much? Others can hear a story like this and think, oh that is sad, and go on. Why for me does it haunt me day in and day out with my mind working in overtime trying to figure out how to help? Wondering if you CAN adopt 27 year olds. Wondering how I can save the world and make sure that no children live with out love?
What does God think in these situations? What would He have us do as Christians? These thoughts have gone round and round in my head. Can we adopt a 27 year old? Do people do that? Do you think she would agree to wear matching dresses with her 4 sisters? hehe, kidding, of course. Mark, being oh so practical said" You can't adopt 27 year olds. And you can't get her on your insurance. And if we suggested we wanted her, she would probably run, she KNOWS our family!"
Now, one thing I would like to see happen, is for her to at least be able to come back to the states and go to seminary. That is where her life is now. I have been online trying to look for options. Do hospitals take on cancer patients for FREE? Obviously, she is not a US citizen. How could all of that work? There must be a solution? And in between learning all I can about Maverys heart, homeschooling the kids, and keeping up with life, I am trying to find that solution. If you know of any cancer centers in Louisville, Ky, can you help me?
I often hear the discussion, is adoption for everyone? Should we all adopt? Obviously, most people don't think so and I am not here to really argue about that right now. Yet I can't help but think of this sweet girl and what would have happened had someone not been to busy, to tired, found the money, found the time, found it in their hearts to say yes.
I know many of you are prayer warriors and I ask you to add this friend to your prayer list. She may not know the love of a mother, or a family. But my prayer is that she will feel the love of the Lord surrounding her. That she will know that there are moms out there who do love her and are carrying her in thoughts and prayers through this horrible time. She is good friends with Esther, so I know she has wonderful friends who love her. Here, not there of course.
One verse that I cling to for her is this. John 14:18 "I will not leave you as orphans, I will come for you." I know that He has a plan for her and that He loves her.
But oh how I wish she had a mama....
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Follow Me!
Since I am trying to figure out how to do all this blog stuff, I am messing around with adding the followers list. Want to follow me? Now, to tell the truth, I have no idea what this does for you besides get your picture on my sidebar. If you have a picture, I am noticing that some do not! I am assuming that if you join, it will give you updates. I joined a friends blog and so I will see what happens! Besides me getting a cute picture under followers. hehe! ;0) (it is not ME in the picture, so don't be thinking I am calling myself cute or anything like that!) I might add twitter, which looks like fun, and thought might be especially nice for the hospital stay. One step at a time, takes me a long time to figure these things out. But it is naptime, my favorite time of the day. And I feel like being computer productive. Or in other words lazy and want to sit in my recliner with my laptop. So, hope you will join us as we are always growing here in one way or another!
Doing Better
Mavery did sleep last night. About 1am we woke up to her JUMPING in her bed. I am not sure what she has done, but she has managed to develop this annoying squeak with her crib. So for a long while we got to listen to that, but thankfully she did settle down and slept till her normal wake up time. She is MUCH better today and more herself. The hard thing is just trying to keep her calm. Obviously there is no way to keep a toddler from running around, but they said to try to just not let her get to wild. So when I was switching laundry I turned around and she and Sage had went to the basement and were riding their cars. Which is a no no. Just hard to not let her out of my site. She had climbed on a barstool and jumped off before I could get to her. Stressful for sure. I basically need to have her attached to me, which before Christmas she barely left my side. Of course now she has been following Sage more for the last couple weeks. Thankfully Sage understands english and is doing a good job staying close.
I wish I could say I slept well. Maybe it was how mad I am about what they did on the Biggest Loser, totally not fair if you ask me. Or could have been the chocolate pie & thinking how if I am not careful I myself will need to go on the show. Also worrying about a friend with cancer, which I want to share about. Mostly just thinking of what is going to happen for Mavery.
Mark said the doctor told us that the committee meets today to discuss her case. I hope that we will hear at least tomorrow what they say. I just want to know when. The kids are so full of questions. They all do remember going to see their cousin Graham in the hospital last Christmas and are excited about seeing the train and the toy room and the rooftop garden again. Isn't it funny how kids see things?
I think I am going to enjoy more of that pie for breakfast. Along with the big ole soda Mark brought me from Mc Donalds. I am thinking the good choices will start after surgery. That is fair, right?
I wish I could say I slept well. Maybe it was how mad I am about what they did on the Biggest Loser, totally not fair if you ask me. Or could have been the chocolate pie & thinking how if I am not careful I myself will need to go on the show. Also worrying about a friend with cancer, which I want to share about. Mostly just thinking of what is going to happen for Mavery.
Mark said the doctor told us that the committee meets today to discuss her case. I hope that we will hear at least tomorrow what they say. I just want to know when. The kids are so full of questions. They all do remember going to see their cousin Graham in the hospital last Christmas and are excited about seeing the train and the toy room and the rooftop garden again. Isn't it funny how kids see things?
I think I am going to enjoy more of that pie for breakfast. Along with the big ole soda Mark brought me from Mc Donalds. I am thinking the good choices will start after surgery. That is fair, right?
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
When will she crash?
I thought they told me that would happen at 3pm... She did nap today, which was her normal naptime. And yes, I did get to sleep with her for a little bit. I felt much better, and she woke up able to walk. I knew when she woke that she was better. She was smiling at me, she was standing in the crib, it made my heart lighter. Happy but HYPER. Doing flips across my bed, running circles around the house, trying to ride Daddy like a horse. You know, all the things they told us NOT to let her do for a week.
We were very thankful that Monte brought dinner over. If you have never had a Monte meal, I am sorry. It was even complete with chocolate pie. Now that is a true friend. Reads my blogs and yet ignores my resolutions and brings me chocolate when she knows it is needed! I sat on the couch tonight and enjoyed the pie while watching the Biggest Loser. So you can tell I am doing good with the New Year. At least I am blogging more!
Mark took Mavery for a drive to get the kids, as the car seat is the safest place for her! But they all came back and we had 2 very crabby chinese girls on our hands. Sage was crying about everything. I was patting her on the back and had my back turned to Mavery and she climbed up on the couch and did a flip off. I think it is going to be a long week. And I do not think Sage is going to do so well during surgery week. She wanted to go to the doctor to get medicine to she told me.
Thankfully everyone, including Mavery, are sleeping now. Mavery cried a little, but not to bad. I just pray that tonight she sleeps, that everyone sleeps. Because I do not do well with no sleep. Nothing like spending a long day at a hospital holding your child down on a bed, hearing shocking news, coming home and not getting sleep, while trying to process all that news while dealing with a wild child.
Fun times..
But, I do want you to know that we appreciate the comments, emails, phone calls that you are sending. Some I am tucking away to read when I am not so emotional. Will I come to a point of being not so emotional?
We were very thankful that Monte brought dinner over. If you have never had a Monte meal, I am sorry. It was even complete with chocolate pie. Now that is a true friend. Reads my blogs and yet ignores my resolutions and brings me chocolate when she knows it is needed! I sat on the couch tonight and enjoyed the pie while watching the Biggest Loser. So you can tell I am doing good with the New Year. At least I am blogging more!
Mark took Mavery for a drive to get the kids, as the car seat is the safest place for her! But they all came back and we had 2 very crabby chinese girls on our hands. Sage was crying about everything. I was patting her on the back and had my back turned to Mavery and she climbed up on the couch and did a flip off. I think it is going to be a long week. And I do not think Sage is going to do so well during surgery week. She wanted to go to the doctor to get medicine to she told me.
Thankfully everyone, including Mavery, are sleeping now. Mavery cried a little, but not to bad. I just pray that tonight she sleeps, that everyone sleeps. Because I do not do well with no sleep. Nothing like spending a long day at a hospital holding your child down on a bed, hearing shocking news, coming home and not getting sleep, while trying to process all that news while dealing with a wild child.
Fun times..
But, I do want you to know that we appreciate the comments, emails, phone calls that you are sending. Some I am tucking away to read when I am not so emotional. Will I come to a point of being not so emotional?
Congratulations Mavery
That is what Mark said to her earlier today. "Congratulations Mavery. I have a few days in my lifetime that were the longest days ever, and you have accounted so far for 2 of those, and I have only known you 2 months! " ;0) It has been a rough morning. Here is how it went.
Mavery: I have to go potty. I take her to the potty where she throws herself on the ground and screams no potty. After we do this 15 times I finally force her diaper off of her and sit her on it. (she is fully pottytrained but obviously diapers are safe right now!) She sits and then tells me, go away mommy. While she pushes at me and falls off the potty or into it, depending which of the times we are in the bathroom.
Me pulling out every toy that might keep her sitting while she throws them all at me. Have I mentioned how strong she is?
Praying that this will be the day this child likes TV. As soon as I grab the remote she screams NO DORA, takes the remote and wings it across the room. Though she did let me turn on Jon & Kate plus 8, it must remind her of her siblings! (she won't watch but watching it makes me feel a little better!)
The things that made her happy? A bag of skittles and then a whole container of those baby puffs. Dumped all over the carpet and then put into her mouth. Do you think that bothered me? No way. She ate them slowly, she was calm and quiet and sitting.
I did lay her down for awhile earlier this AM and she fell asleep after screaming. I jumped into bed giddy w/ excitement that it was so quiet and dreaming of a nap. And then she screamed. And screamed. And screamed.
I did not scream, but to tell the truth, I kind of wanted to.
I called the hospital sure that they have overdosed my kid and that something is wrong with her. They assured me this was quite normal for how much medicine was needed to keep her asleep during the cath. She said she guessed about 3pm she would come out of it and crash. I told her I was holding her to that and if not, we were spending the night at her house tonight! She told me if she has not come out of it later today, to call back. I begged for anything to make her sleep, she said do not give her anything more.
So we decided maybe a drive was in order. Lock her in her car seat. But do NOT let her sleep because if she falls asleep in the car, she does not transfer to her bed. She did not fall asleep. We made it home, she tried to drink a bowl of soup and ended up wearing it. She had a dirty diaper, which she NEVER does. And then we put her to bed. And it is quiet. She wanted a mermer like Sage and she got it.
I am joining her. Without a pacifier of course.
Mavery: I have to go potty. I take her to the potty where she throws herself on the ground and screams no potty. After we do this 15 times I finally force her diaper off of her and sit her on it. (she is fully pottytrained but obviously diapers are safe right now!) She sits and then tells me, go away mommy. While she pushes at me and falls off the potty or into it, depending which of the times we are in the bathroom.
Me pulling out every toy that might keep her sitting while she throws them all at me. Have I mentioned how strong she is?
Praying that this will be the day this child likes TV. As soon as I grab the remote she screams NO DORA, takes the remote and wings it across the room. Though she did let me turn on Jon & Kate plus 8, it must remind her of her siblings! (she won't watch but watching it makes me feel a little better!)
The things that made her happy? A bag of skittles and then a whole container of those baby puffs. Dumped all over the carpet and then put into her mouth. Do you think that bothered me? No way. She ate them slowly, she was calm and quiet and sitting.
I did lay her down for awhile earlier this AM and she fell asleep after screaming. I jumped into bed giddy w/ excitement that it was so quiet and dreaming of a nap. And then she screamed. And screamed. And screamed.
I did not scream, but to tell the truth, I kind of wanted to.
I called the hospital sure that they have overdosed my kid and that something is wrong with her. They assured me this was quite normal for how much medicine was needed to keep her asleep during the cath. She said she guessed about 3pm she would come out of it and crash. I told her I was holding her to that and if not, we were spending the night at her house tonight! She told me if she has not come out of it later today, to call back. I begged for anything to make her sleep, she said do not give her anything more.
So we decided maybe a drive was in order. Lock her in her car seat. But do NOT let her sleep because if she falls asleep in the car, she does not transfer to her bed. She did not fall asleep. We made it home, she tried to drink a bowl of soup and ended up wearing it. She had a dirty diaper, which she NEVER does. And then we put her to bed. And it is quiet. She wanted a mermer like Sage and she got it.
I am joining her. Without a pacifier of course.
Mavery is MAD
And mommy ain't to happy either to tell you the truth. Who comes up with these drugs that they give to children? Obviously not moms who have to deal with the children afterwards. Ugh... We got Mavery to sleep last night pretty early by finally laying her in her crib and letting her cry. I felt we were back at the beginning of our time with her. Holding her just made her mad, rocking her, she would have nothing to do w/ that and obviously she had to sleep. and when she finally went she was OUT. But about 3am she started getting restless and it was over. We tried bringing her in our bed. 32 pounds of maniac Mavery did not work. Mark got up with her for awhile and I heard lots of screaming going on then she was back in our room in her bed. He said she screams no matter what you do. So we lay in bed praying she might fall back to sleep with no luck. I got up with her and I now see why he stuck her back in her bed. She still can't walk steady though at least she can now sit up but is wobbly. But basically you look at her and she is mad. She threw a book at me, she thew the magna doodle at me, no matter what I do she screams. She kept saying she wanted something over and over and I finally figured out it is skittles. Which is an odd thing to ask for, she has not had them much. But hey, she is now sitting here next to me eating skittles and is calm and quiet. They told me the drugs should wear off today but she might still act drunk most of the day. I think it is going to be a long day. I know she is tired, her eyes look terrible. I am tired. Hopefully we can get her to sleep at some point and I will join her. Very thankful that our parents have the kids and hoping that Sage slept for my mom last night. Got to go, skittles are running low.....
Monday, January 05, 2009
Mavery's Moments
If you missed my "technical details" post, please scroll down for information on Maverys surgery. So after they take us in the room and deliver the news to us, I go to our room where they are just wheeling Mavery in. She was sound asleep and just looked so little laying there on that big bed. They had her swaddled up like a taco and oh my heart wept just seeing her. All this news the doctor had just told us, and I look at her perfect little face and can't believe that she is so sick inside! You know, I was not excited about having to go to Childrens Hospital. Simply because it is huge, of course and I just like small. But the nurses we had were amazing. One was with me when Mavery came in and I am crying and I told her, "just not the news we expected, BUT, Thank the Lord she is home from China and we can fix her", and the nurse starts bawling with me.
They tell me that they are going to rush and have a lung profusion test done before she wakes up, as they are certain she is going to wake up very soon. They said they had to give her the highest dose of drugs to keep her under. As I am sitting there waiting she is talking in her sleep and she says mama. She is still out, but it sure did my heart good. This little girl who just 3 months ago did not know what a mama was, and under drugs she is calling for her mama.
They take us downstairs for the scan, with extra drugs in hand because the scan is kind of like an mri with a machine spinning around her chest. It took 2 nurses and us to hold her still AND those extra drugs. She was throwing her arms around, talking, fun times. The scan measures blood flow to the lungs. I really do not get this part, but know they said they will do another one after surgery to compare.
Back upstairs where she is waking up more and more. Our other nurse was SO sweet to. She stayed with us half the day getting Mavery to lay still. Let me tell you, this was not a one man task. She had to lay flat, on her back. You can imagine how much fun this is for a 3 year old. So one person basically gets to hold pressure on the surgical site to keep it from bleeding. If it started bleeding, we started over again with the laying flat. So even if it would start 5 hours in, you lay for another 6 hours. This was high motivation for us to keep her still. Mark and I were pretty sure we were back on the airplane ride from China, which if you remember was MISERABLE. She just could not sleep in a strange bed I think. The nurse said she had never seen anything like it and was pretty sure that the doctor hearing mavery scream was motivation for him to get them some better drugs after a cath! We kept telling them if they thought Mavery was wild, they should see her sister! ;0) Can you even imagine keeping Sage down for 6 hours? Though Sage will watch tv, Mavery NOTHING. Plus, she was SO drugged. She saw lots of people dancing on our ceiling in our room. She called out for Sage many, many times.
We were very thankful for Ms Jenny who would have stood on her head if it would have made Mavery happy. Or me happy for that matter! ;0)
Along with all our family that was there praying with us and for us and those of you who were praying at home and all the encouragement you sent. Thankful for Megan here watching the kids, and our parents taking them for tonight and tomorrow so Mavery can stay quiet. We feel very loved that is for sure.
While it was not fun watching Mavery so MAD and upset and I shed many tears as she is crying to be "fixed" but really she had no idea what she wanted, at least there were alot of comical moments. Since she was so drugged just when I would be so sad, she would do something goofy that would make me laugh like pointing at Mark and calling him a horse and him imitating one for her (oh picture it, the neighing and all!) her singing her heart out "I know, I know what I stand for, I know, I know what I believe". Or HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUUUUU!! Even her slapping me and telling me to go away was funny because it was just not her. Peeing on Mark, pointing at things that we can't see, telling the nurse NO, THAT's MINE in her slurred words.. Lots of things that just made us giggle. And my favorite as we are leaving she says as clear as could be (and alot of her words were very slurred) "I want Mc Donalds!" That is my all american girl! Drugged or not, we know Mc Donalds makes it all better!
A very long emotional day. In some ways, pretty much a waste. They could have skipped this and just done surgery. But I know they hoped this would fix it. We prayed this would fix it. And while of course I was upset and sad and worried and anxious and all those things, God whispered over and over, "this is why she HAD to come home and be yours RIGHT NOW". If Mavery had not been put on a list to be adopted, she would probably not have lived long in China. The fact that she lived long enough for them to take her to a doctor and then that they did her heart surgery, a miracle. The fact that she came home now, not next year, another miracle. The fact that I found her, that God is letting me raise her, that I get to be a part of her healing, all miracles.
Now of course, my prayer is that He, who knit her little heart together, would perform a miracle once again. That He will somehow stun those surgeons when they go in there and that aneurysm will be gone, and that it will not be a big deal at all to widen those arteries. That her little bump on her chest will be fixed so she does not have to worry about that as a teenager. Most important that we would walk with Him and trust His plan.
Oh so sweet moment.. Megan had said Sage was sad today and worried about Mavery. So on our drive home we decided we would drive by my parents house, they are keeping the 4 all night. We just wanted them to peek in at Mavery and know that she is ok. Now, let me add that the nurse was just SURE that Mavery would be asleep as soon as we left the hospital as she had not slept all day. So she was awake & loopy for sure. We get to their house and the kids come out and I said, ok, lets be really quiet and just go tell Mavery hi. Well Sage sees Mavery and starts squealing and screaming, "MAVERY, HI MAVERY" w/ her little giggle. SO, so sweet the bond that is forming so strong between these 2. That was my first question for the nurse today, can my other kids see her after surgery. I do not think Mavery would do well with out them for a week or vice versa. And thankfully after she is out of the ICU they will be able to say hi. I can promise you that Childrens Hospital won't ever forget the Laxton family! ;0)
Keep on praying with us. We know that He hears our prayers.
They tell me that they are going to rush and have a lung profusion test done before she wakes up, as they are certain she is going to wake up very soon. They said they had to give her the highest dose of drugs to keep her under. As I am sitting there waiting she is talking in her sleep and she says mama. She is still out, but it sure did my heart good. This little girl who just 3 months ago did not know what a mama was, and under drugs she is calling for her mama.
They take us downstairs for the scan, with extra drugs in hand because the scan is kind of like an mri with a machine spinning around her chest. It took 2 nurses and us to hold her still AND those extra drugs. She was throwing her arms around, talking, fun times. The scan measures blood flow to the lungs. I really do not get this part, but know they said they will do another one after surgery to compare.
Back upstairs where she is waking up more and more. Our other nurse was SO sweet to. She stayed with us half the day getting Mavery to lay still. Let me tell you, this was not a one man task. She had to lay flat, on her back. You can imagine how much fun this is for a 3 year old. So one person basically gets to hold pressure on the surgical site to keep it from bleeding. If it started bleeding, we started over again with the laying flat. So even if it would start 5 hours in, you lay for another 6 hours. This was high motivation for us to keep her still. Mark and I were pretty sure we were back on the airplane ride from China, which if you remember was MISERABLE. She just could not sleep in a strange bed I think. The nurse said she had never seen anything like it and was pretty sure that the doctor hearing mavery scream was motivation for him to get them some better drugs after a cath! We kept telling them if they thought Mavery was wild, they should see her sister! ;0) Can you even imagine keeping Sage down for 6 hours? Though Sage will watch tv, Mavery NOTHING. Plus, she was SO drugged. She saw lots of people dancing on our ceiling in our room. She called out for Sage many, many times.
We were very thankful for Ms Jenny who would have stood on her head if it would have made Mavery happy. Or me happy for that matter! ;0)
Along with all our family that was there praying with us and for us and those of you who were praying at home and all the encouragement you sent. Thankful for Megan here watching the kids, and our parents taking them for tonight and tomorrow so Mavery can stay quiet. We feel very loved that is for sure.
While it was not fun watching Mavery so MAD and upset and I shed many tears as she is crying to be "fixed" but really she had no idea what she wanted, at least there were alot of comical moments. Since she was so drugged just when I would be so sad, she would do something goofy that would make me laugh like pointing at Mark and calling him a horse and him imitating one for her (oh picture it, the neighing and all!) her singing her heart out "I know, I know what I stand for, I know, I know what I believe". Or HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUUUUU!! Even her slapping me and telling me to go away was funny because it was just not her. Peeing on Mark, pointing at things that we can't see, telling the nurse NO, THAT's MINE in her slurred words.. Lots of things that just made us giggle. And my favorite as we are leaving she says as clear as could be (and alot of her words were very slurred) "I want Mc Donalds!" That is my all american girl! Drugged or not, we know Mc Donalds makes it all better!
A very long emotional day. In some ways, pretty much a waste. They could have skipped this and just done surgery. But I know they hoped this would fix it. We prayed this would fix it. And while of course I was upset and sad and worried and anxious and all those things, God whispered over and over, "this is why she HAD to come home and be yours RIGHT NOW". If Mavery had not been put on a list to be adopted, she would probably not have lived long in China. The fact that she lived long enough for them to take her to a doctor and then that they did her heart surgery, a miracle. The fact that she came home now, not next year, another miracle. The fact that I found her, that God is letting me raise her, that I get to be a part of her healing, all miracles.
Now of course, my prayer is that He, who knit her little heart together, would perform a miracle once again. That He will somehow stun those surgeons when they go in there and that aneurysm will be gone, and that it will not be a big deal at all to widen those arteries. That her little bump on her chest will be fixed so she does not have to worry about that as a teenager. Most important that we would walk with Him and trust His plan.
Oh so sweet moment.. Megan had said Sage was sad today and worried about Mavery. So on our drive home we decided we would drive by my parents house, they are keeping the 4 all night. We just wanted them to peek in at Mavery and know that she is ok. Now, let me add that the nurse was just SURE that Mavery would be asleep as soon as we left the hospital as she had not slept all day. So she was awake & loopy for sure. We get to their house and the kids come out and I said, ok, lets be really quiet and just go tell Mavery hi. Well Sage sees Mavery and starts squealing and screaming, "MAVERY, HI MAVERY" w/ her little giggle. SO, so sweet the bond that is forming so strong between these 2. That was my first question for the nurse today, can my other kids see her after surgery. I do not think Mavery would do well with out them for a week or vice versa. And thankfully after she is out of the ICU they will be able to say hi. I can promise you that Childrens Hospital won't ever forget the Laxton family! ;0)
Keep on praying with us. We know that He hears our prayers.
Heart Class 101
It is good to be home. Well, kind of. If we were staying the night it would have meant that they were able to repair Mavery through the cath. We are home because they could not do that. I have learned way more about the heart than I ever dreamed. Did you know that our heart does more than simply BEAT? I never gave it much thought before but let me tell you, I have learned way more than I wished I ever knew. Simply because I ONLY know all these things because my daughter has a heart condition that is not so minor.
Last night as I thought about today I thought of "worst case", what I thought was this. They will go in and find out there is something major wrong that we had no idea about. BUT I really did not think worst case would happen, of course. I believed that they would fix it and we would be on our way to a healthy heart.
Let me explain again exactly what they were doing just in case I have confused everyone. They were going in through a vein in her leg with a heart catheterization. This is a tube that has a camera on end that they can look around and explore. They are also able to do things like go into a narrow artery with this and enlarge it. They would enlarge it by using a balloon to blow it open, or they would use a stint which is chicken wire basically that holds it open.
We went down to the OR area and they told us that it was going to be quite some time because they found alot of narrowing that needed to be widened. So we were getting ready to return to the waiting area and they said, actually he is done and is coming to talk to you. This seemed odd to me because how did he fix all that narrowing that fast?
He took us in a room and began to show us the films and while it could have been fascinating, it was not so much when it is my daughters heart I was staring at. He points out the aneurysm, which I could tell was large. And I figured that was not so good. Then he shows the arteries that are so narrow, the cath barely fit through them. He did balloon one part, but he said it was just to narrow. He decided that surgery was going to be necessary because of these 2 reasons. Something about he decided the stint was not a very good solution with how narrow the arteries are, and the aneurysm is to large to ignore.
The arteries have to be enlarged because it is affecting her lungs. Her left lung is already smaller, because it is not getting the blood flow it should, because the artery is to narrow. If this is not fixed, she will be living on one lung, she would be winded and tired all the time. If the aneurysm is not fixed, well, lets just say, that is not an option. It must be fixed.
He said surgery does not need to be rushed, but that we will probably need to do it before summer. Our cardiologist came by, who is such a positive guy and he said we don't need to rush but we might rush because he thinks I will just sit and worry till it is done. Who me, worry?? He is very calming though and kept telling us, this is not a big deal. I told him the word aneurysm just sounds very scary to me and he said that is not a big deal. What can I do but believe him?
Next step is that they will meet with the surgeon and decide when and get his thoughts. This of course is a major open heart surgery. We will be at the hospital at least 5 days. She will be on a ventilator for the first 2 days. I hate the thought of that. Yet, after todays reaction to the drugs, which I will save for another post, we NEED the heavy duty drugs. What they gave her today, did not do what they wanted it to do. We had alot of fun holding her down for almost 6 hours. Ugh...
I have alot more thoughts, but will save that for another post. I just wanted to get out the details to you all. The technical details. I am sure there was a ton more he told us, but you know, you kind of hear open heart surgery and see that picture of this aneurysm on her heart and your mind goes blank. More coming, if I can keep my eyes open!
Last night as I thought about today I thought of "worst case", what I thought was this. They will go in and find out there is something major wrong that we had no idea about. BUT I really did not think worst case would happen, of course. I believed that they would fix it and we would be on our way to a healthy heart.
Let me explain again exactly what they were doing just in case I have confused everyone. They were going in through a vein in her leg with a heart catheterization. This is a tube that has a camera on end that they can look around and explore. They are also able to do things like go into a narrow artery with this and enlarge it. They would enlarge it by using a balloon to blow it open, or they would use a stint which is chicken wire basically that holds it open.
We went down to the OR area and they told us that it was going to be quite some time because they found alot of narrowing that needed to be widened. So we were getting ready to return to the waiting area and they said, actually he is done and is coming to talk to you. This seemed odd to me because how did he fix all that narrowing that fast?
He took us in a room and began to show us the films and while it could have been fascinating, it was not so much when it is my daughters heart I was staring at. He points out the aneurysm, which I could tell was large. And I figured that was not so good. Then he shows the arteries that are so narrow, the cath barely fit through them. He did balloon one part, but he said it was just to narrow. He decided that surgery was going to be necessary because of these 2 reasons. Something about he decided the stint was not a very good solution with how narrow the arteries are, and the aneurysm is to large to ignore.
The arteries have to be enlarged because it is affecting her lungs. Her left lung is already smaller, because it is not getting the blood flow it should, because the artery is to narrow. If this is not fixed, she will be living on one lung, she would be winded and tired all the time. If the aneurysm is not fixed, well, lets just say, that is not an option. It must be fixed.
He said surgery does not need to be rushed, but that we will probably need to do it before summer. Our cardiologist came by, who is such a positive guy and he said we don't need to rush but we might rush because he thinks I will just sit and worry till it is done. Who me, worry?? He is very calming though and kept telling us, this is not a big deal. I told him the word aneurysm just sounds very scary to me and he said that is not a big deal. What can I do but believe him?
Next step is that they will meet with the surgeon and decide when and get his thoughts. This of course is a major open heart surgery. We will be at the hospital at least 5 days. She will be on a ventilator for the first 2 days. I hate the thought of that. Yet, after todays reaction to the drugs, which I will save for another post, we NEED the heavy duty drugs. What they gave her today, did not do what they wanted it to do. We had alot of fun holding her down for almost 6 hours. Ugh...
I have alot more thoughts, but will save that for another post. I just wanted to get out the details to you all. The technical details. I am sure there was a ton more he told us, but you know, you kind of hear open heart surgery and see that picture of this aneurysm on her heart and your mind goes blank. More coming, if I can keep my eyes open!
Coming Home
Mavery is still in recovery. She is to lay flat until 5:00 this evening. She is not happy about this. She is over-tired and fighting it. Right now she is laying in Shannon's lap. If all goes well after this time she will be discharged to come home. I believe all are ready for this. Please keep praying for this sweet little angel!
Miss Jenny
Miss Jenny
Update
Mavery is now out of surgery. They were not able to fix everything 100% and in the near future she will need open heart surgery. Please pray for Mark and Shannon as Mavery must now lay still for several hours! I will update with any new news I get.
Miss Jenny
Miss Jenny
Update
They came out to say that they are going to "intervene" in the left artery with the balloon or a stint and then will look at the right artery. So basically what we figured they would be doing on that left side. We were not told there is anything on the right side, but obviously we do not know everything (or anything) going on in there! Please keep praying for our sweet girl.
Pictures of before
At 9:30 they came out to tell us that they had just got Mavery to sleep. They said it took 3 sticks and the nurse said she felt she had a workout holding her down! And that she was calling for Mommy. ;-(
Mavery is in...
Well, Ms Mavery was quite comical this morning. We pulled her right out of bed to bring her, and she was so funny, just kept giving us her cheesy smile. We got to the hospital and while she was not so excited at first about the name bracelet, she was fine with it once she realized it was actually kind of "pretty". While we waited I think Mavery had the staff all a little nervous with her bouncing around and they said they would decide how much medicine to give her once back. ;-) They came in to give her numbing cream and medicine which she did not like. But after that happy drink started kicking in, we(and there are alot of we here!) all laughed and laughed with her. After keeping us all entertained for a few minutes, they let us walk her back to the room. And I knew she was out of it when she let the nurse take her and was smiling at her and playing with her hair!
The only thing that had us "concerned" is that when the doctor walked in to talk to us he asked if our Dr had told us about the aneurysm in her heart. He said it is where they patched the heart during surgery and that it is not a huge concern. (not huge???) He also seemed to think they would for sure be doing a stint this morning. So we should hear from him soon.
I will add some pictures and video of our fun morning soon! Thank you for praying, we feel them for sure.
The only thing that had us "concerned" is that when the doctor walked in to talk to us he asked if our Dr had told us about the aneurysm in her heart. He said it is where they patched the heart during surgery and that it is not a huge concern. (not huge???) He also seemed to think they would for sure be doing a stint this morning. So we should hear from him soon.
I will add some pictures and video of our fun morning soon! Thank you for praying, we feel them for sure.
Sunday, January 04, 2009
Makenna says...
Since I said I would blog more, I could not pass up sharing this conversation.. Makenna went with me to Walmart for groceries tonight. As we walked through the children's department she was oohing and ahhing over the cute tiny baby clothes. And this comes out...
Makenna: "I can't wait to get married and have kids so that I can buy all these cute tiny clothes".
Me: Wondering if I should panic that she just got excited over tiny baby clothes then at least being thankful that she did mention married, says " yes, but then your husband will tell you there is no money for cute baby clothes so you will have to call Grandma".
Makenna: Oh there will be alot of money because I am going to be a vet and I think they pay well.
Me: "Well if you are a vet then you will not be staying home with your kids all day and you will have to take them to a babysitter. "(while thinking in my head, oh no, what if ALL my children want to work outside the home and they ALL ask me to watch their kids, I will NEVER have quiet!
Makenna: Oh there will be no need for a babysitter because my husband is going to stay home with the kids while I work.
Good plan Makenna! ;0)
By the way, have I mentioned that Makenna wants 6 children? And that she still thinks boys are disgusting? Thank goodness for small favors!
Saturday, January 03, 2009
Resolutions
Are they a good thing or a bad thing? I read people who say they don't make them because they set themselves up for failure. I typically don't make them because I know I am to lazy to follow through with them! Yet, we should, shouldn't we? A new year, a new calendar, a new chance to start over, or in my case to just start! I figure if I put them on my blog, then maybe someone will hold me accountable when they see me failing and remind me to go read this entry again! Here we go....
- More blogging. I like to blog, I enjoy writing. I am happy when I can look back at things and read all the details. The blog is for me and my kids. They do not get scrapbooks, baby books, or picture albums. I keep thinking someday I will get around to all those. But I don't really enjoy doing any of those things. Blogging, I like. So this year, more blogs. No matter how tired I am when the kids go to bed, or even if I think it is boring, more blogs.
- NO DIETING. If you know me, you know that I have been on a diet more than not. And amazingly, I have now lost the same pounds, well I won't even go there. I lose, I gain, I lose, I gain. So, this is the year I am not going to try ANY diet. Now, not to say I want to stay where I am now. But what I want is to lose by making good choices. Which would be using the WII fit that we have, THINKING about what I eat.. Most important not being obsessed over it as I usually am, but not being content with my size either. Trying to be healthy for myself and for my children. Ok, this only applies until my brother springs a wedding on me. IF that happens, then I will be doing something major and fast! ;0)
- Walking closer with the Lord. Spending more time with Him. Falling more in love with Him. Reading His word more. Listening more and talking at Him less.
- Learning to sew. Surely by the end of this year I can learn how to make SOMETHING.
- Learn how to use my camera better and do more with my pictures. I am so jealous of some of the blogs I read and what they do with their photos. We have such a nice camera, but I don't have a clue how to do more than point and shoot.
- Spend less money. GULP. I promised my husband that this was the year though. I was going to STAY on a budget and live with what we have. Which is why I must learn to sew so I can make cute clothes instead of buying. I am going to figure out how to save on my grocery/walmart bill, which is my biggest downfall. Now, not to say that we are going back to China, BUT I have felt very convicted that IF God called us to go back, $ would once again be an issue for us. I don't want that to be a reason we do not go, IF HE says there is another child that is ours. So, we are on a budget. And I am not going to whine and complain, I am going to just live cheap. Sigh... Funny thing is, right when I decided this, our new van broke down, our basement started leaking, you know the story. Honestly though, Mark thinks it is impossible, but I am going to do it. Mrs Cheap, that is me. ;0)
- Organized, in every area I need more of this. This is a neverending resolution.
I am sure I will think of more that I will come back and add. But for now it is a start. Happy 2009!
Friday, January 02, 2009
Mavery made it through pre-testing
Thank goodness, Mavery really did AMAZING today for all the tests. I could not believe they had us scheduled for 11:00, seemed a right at lunch time appointment. And if you know Mavery, you know she likes to eat, ON TIME. And of course it was almost noon by the time they called us back. I think she had them worried when they tried to weigh her and she was already telling them no. They took us to the room and started putting the stickers all over her body (i can't remember what is what but you know where the little wires are all hanging off of you, along with using the ultrasound machine) and she started screaming no, till Mark pulled out the supersize bag of mini m&m's. She sat and let him feed those to her while I held her and honestly barely made a peep. A girl and her chocolate! Funny, the tech was a guy Mark graduated with. Who supplied us with tons of stickers for the kids at home so no one would be left out! After those tests the nurse walked us through what would happen on Monday. Basically they are not sure what they will need to do, till they are in there with the cath. Possibly enlarge the artery with a balloon, possibly a stint will be needed to keep it widened.
Next we had to do a chest xray. She was not excited about that, but the promise of lunch (this was by now after 2pm) and a soda, helped get it done.
The nurse, who stayed with us the entire time, just kept saying over and over, she is amazing! And of course, we know she is amazing. The more we read and learn about her heart condition, the more amazed I am that she is here and doing so well. She was not taken to see a doctor till she was 5 months old, that is when they found her TOF. Much later than it would have been found here. The nurse did say, this may have to be done more than once. (heart cath) But after talking to her today I felt better about the whole process. It is amazing to me what they can do through a tiny little tube. She was telling us how where they insert it will be a little sore but heals quickly. Both Mark and I laughed because we know that Mavery will milk it for a LONG time! Anytime we correct her, she points to any owie she can come up with. Typically her toes. Her pinkie toes have some nail issues. That only flair up when she has been told no!
We have to be at the hospital at 7:00AM on Monday. They will give her something to make her loopy before they take her from me, or before they do a thing. Which makes me feel better. I know she would not leave me willingly and I hate to put her through any thing. The nurse claims that the drugs they give they remember nothing about any of it, not even leaving me, or waking up etc... They will start the cath by 8:30 and she will be back there 2-3 hours. She said we will be in the cath lab recovery till 7pm, then they will decide if we can go home or stay. Of course I hope to come home and yet I know I will feel better with a nurse close by for awhile.
One thing that I was reminded of today is that though I do NOT want to be at the hospital and I do not want Mavery to go through this, we have been able to share our adoption story with so many. I hope that I can use this time not to worry and stress, but to share the amazing things that the Lord has done already in her life and in ours. Mavery is a gift from Him. He has allowed me the privilege to parent her and to hold her through this time. I am so thankful that she is here, home, mine. I am so thankful that she walks into a hospital and amazes nurses and technicians. I am so thankful for a husband who said yes to adoption!
Oh and there was no chinese translator, but the nurse said she did not think there was a need, as I had told them it might not help. Mavery can understand just about anything you say to her. The fact that I said, lay down and let them take a picture of your chest and we will go get a soda, and she said ok, proves we are communicating just fine!
Thanks again for walking with us through this time. Happy Weekend!
Next we had to do a chest xray. She was not excited about that, but the promise of lunch (this was by now after 2pm) and a soda, helped get it done.
The nurse, who stayed with us the entire time, just kept saying over and over, she is amazing! And of course, we know she is amazing. The more we read and learn about her heart condition, the more amazed I am that she is here and doing so well. She was not taken to see a doctor till she was 5 months old, that is when they found her TOF. Much later than it would have been found here. The nurse did say, this may have to be done more than once. (heart cath) But after talking to her today I felt better about the whole process. It is amazing to me what they can do through a tiny little tube. She was telling us how where they insert it will be a little sore but heals quickly. Both Mark and I laughed because we know that Mavery will milk it for a LONG time! Anytime we correct her, she points to any owie she can come up with. Typically her toes. Her pinkie toes have some nail issues. That only flair up when she has been told no!
We have to be at the hospital at 7:00AM on Monday. They will give her something to make her loopy before they take her from me, or before they do a thing. Which makes me feel better. I know she would not leave me willingly and I hate to put her through any thing. The nurse claims that the drugs they give they remember nothing about any of it, not even leaving me, or waking up etc... They will start the cath by 8:30 and she will be back there 2-3 hours. She said we will be in the cath lab recovery till 7pm, then they will decide if we can go home or stay. Of course I hope to come home and yet I know I will feel better with a nurse close by for awhile.
One thing that I was reminded of today is that though I do NOT want to be at the hospital and I do not want Mavery to go through this, we have been able to share our adoption story with so many. I hope that I can use this time not to worry and stress, but to share the amazing things that the Lord has done already in her life and in ours. Mavery is a gift from Him. He has allowed me the privilege to parent her and to hold her through this time. I am so thankful that she is here, home, mine. I am so thankful that she walks into a hospital and amazes nurses and technicians. I am so thankful for a husband who said yes to adoption!
Oh and there was no chinese translator, but the nurse said she did not think there was a need, as I had told them it might not help. Mavery can understand just about anything you say to her. The fact that I said, lay down and let them take a picture of your chest and we will go get a soda, and she said ok, proves we are communicating just fine!
Thanks again for walking with us through this time. Happy Weekend!
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Maverys Appointment Friday
Tomorrow (Friday January 2nd) Mavery will go in for pre-testing at Childrens at 11:00AM. I am not sure what this all involves. I know more xrays, ultrasounds, bloodwork, and I believe something to measure lung capacity. Basically I remember alot of blah blah blah with a chinese translator thrown in. So as we say goodbye 2008, we jump right in to 2009. Thankfully we are jumping in knowing that we are covered in prayer and I feel good. I will update with what they say tomorrow, and Jenny is going to make sure we can update from the hospital on Monday. Thank you for the prayers, please keep them coming.
New Year New Look
Amy & I spent New Years Eve playing on my blog. What do you think? I can't figure out how to get rid of the old signature line and still trying to clean up the sidebar, but I am excited with how much she taught me tonight! Thanks Amy! Happy 2009!