Maverys First Haircut

The first time I took Mavery into get hair cuts with us, she SCREAMED when she heard the razor come on and started grabbing her hair. She was sure she did not want anyone touching her head! (and with good reason as she was so anxious for that buzz to grow out!) But yesterday, 6 months later, she was SOO excited to get up in the chair and get a cut like the rest of the kids! She did great, she really did and was so proud of her cut. (which was really just a trim of her bangs) and a little in the back to even it out. I think she looks younger with her bangs short, and reminds me of when I first met her more. Her cheeks look rounder, if that is possible! I will get a better picture of her soon.

Maverys Visit

Thank you for all the sweet comments and emails on my last post. I needed that encouragement and it was a true blessing to me.

The appointment went well. I thought the doctor was amazing. Probably helped that she has 4 kids, 3 of them adopted from China. (1 adopted at 4 years old) She is a believer. AND she homeschooled. So, she just gets it.

Some "funny" things that made me laugh.

The therapist saying "Impulsive + Smart = Deadly".

When asking how to deal w/ some of the behavior issues in public, their response "Get a sitter"!

There were 2 doctors in with us. One was the adoption doctor, one was a therapist. We were with them over 2 hours just talking.

They were very impressed with language and said they thought she had amazing articulation for a 3 year old who is just learning english. They thought she was better than most 3 year olds born here and just went on and on about how well she could speak.

They tested her and she did great at all the 3 year old "stuff". Testing such as pointing at objects, stacking blocks, counting, colors etc. She had a whole bag of tricks, but I was not able to pay attention to that so much because the doctor was asking questions. They do not think she is behind at all, which is good. Though that is what I have blamed alot of stuff on. That she acts like a 2 year old.

I gave her a snack while they observed and we were able to talk alot about her food issues. She shovels her food in, fast. They said we need to teach her to slow down, give her just 2 pieces, and count with her as she chews it up. Then give her 2 more. This will help her to not eat so much so that she is full faster. They suggested we get very strict with meal times and snack times. Which I typically am, I am not one to just feed my kids random snacks. Unless we are out. The biggest issue is breakfast. She wakes up starved and screaming for food, so they suggested trying a healthy bedtime snack. She wakes up at least an hour earlier than Sage. So she wants to eat right away, then have a 2nd breakfast with Sage. So I am going to try to make one a snack time for her.

They said that she is showing signs of ADHD. Yikes! Now, before anyone freaks out, we know that she is to young to be labeled with that and no worries, we are not rushing out to medicate her or anything. (though medicating ME, that might be necessary!!, KIDDING, I am kidding) BUT, that has been my concern with her. I did not mention that to them. They could easily tell she has NO attention span at all. And she is hyperactive. She is not capable of sitting still. So they said call it what you will but she does have those symptoms. Some of it is age, some of it is still adjustment. She might grow out of it, she might not. The biggest suggestion they have with this is routine. They said I need to run my home like a boot camp. Schedules, STRICT schedules. And I know that this is true. Mavery is GREAT at bedtime, naptime, mealtimes. When she knows what to expect. It is the free time and when we are going somewhere that we have issues. They said school will be good for her. (she was in a preschool setting at her SWI) They suggested gymnastics to burn off energy.

They also suggested we get her tested for some possible sensory issues. We will meet with an occupational therapist for this. I am a little fuzzy on all that. But they said the screaming (which they got to experience) the food stuff, the repeating over and over (and over and over) could be to do with some sensory stuff. I guess there are exercises they can do with kids to help them basically get themselves under control such as carrying a squeezy ball around. She said something about she might have an under sensitive sensory system? Anways, we will see what the specialist says on that issue.

They stressed the importance of boundaries and enforcing time outs. I have been feeling guilty that she spends so much time in time out! They said that is the right thing to do and encouraged me to keep a diary for myself. So that I can pat myself on the back when I can look and see it went from 2 hours to 45 minutes a day etc. ;-) (and she is not in time out 2 hours a day, just an example.)

They went on and on about how smart she is and how HARD that is for us! WE KNOW! You might remember that the director told us that in China. "Jin Song very smart and very hard to take care of." Oh how I would love to sit down and chat with Mr Jin and compare notes on Ms Mavery!

They were SOOO encouraging to us telling us what a great job we are doing with her. They made ME feel so much better. Just a relief to hear that it is not US doing anything wrong.

The good news was that they thought she seemed very attached to us. I had worried maybe there were some attachment issues but they both agreed she seems to have a healthy attachment. They said they see some kids that are to attached and then the other end of not attaching. We are glad that we are doing well in that area.

They were very big on making sure that we are getting out for date nights, me leaving the house alone, having time away. Which we are getting better about.

We know, and they reminded us, 6 months is not that long since she came home. We realize that. BUT, we just want to stay on top of these issues. And on top of our sanity! I am not sure what it was, maybe all of you praying for us, or maybe the relief of hearing the doctor tell me I am not failing her, but Mavery was so much better today! Or maybe it was ME who was better. Instead it was Sage who spent the day in time out. Mavery kept telling me, "I listen, Sagey not listen to you".

So hopefully I can now catch up on everything else I have to blog about. Mavery got her first haircut last night! (& I am back to my natural color which makes Mark so happy) We have a vacation booked and we can't wait! We are doing some home construction to make room for Mavery getting a bedroom. Preschool, homeschool, another child being tested for stuff. Recipes I promised to post, videos I want to get up. Updates on how I am losing the biggest loser contest, BUT my new resolve to walk to turn into running. The preemie baby I had asked for prayer for still needs prayer, he has a staph infection. And I am in need of some decorating help so hoping that someone who reads my blog is going to help me out when I post some house pictures. I get to go on a girls MOPS retreat this weekend. Thinking about going to women of faith, anyone been? Steven Curtis Chapman and Lisa Welchel will both be there, I adore them! Just keep bugging me to play catch up, I need the nudge!

Mavery Musings & things no one told me

No one told me that my new daughter might prove to have a difficult personality.

No one told me, that life as I knew it was going to be turned upside down.

No one told me that while I might be madly in love with my new daughter, I might not always LIKE her.

No one told me that there might come a point where I would find myself at a loss on how to parent this new child.

And you know the thing is, even if anyone had told me, I would not have believed it, nor could I really understand it. Till I walked through it all myself. But to be honest, I have read many blogs, and not many of them talk about things being hard. Are we all guilty of that? Do we paint this picture that all is so perfect and happy and refuse to open that window to let anyone see REAL life? I wish more would. I wish that during these months I knew I was not alone in my feelings.

Mavery has done REALLY well. She has come a long way in these 6 months. If you read my post on her blog, you can see some of the amazing ways she has changed. But we are still working through some issues. And overall, it is not like they are HUGE things, but they do wear on me, I am not going to lie. I am sure it is the combination of things. Not hardly leaving the house, dealing with 2 toddlers day in and out, not being able to get anything done, I am sure you get the idea.

Tomorrow we are going to the adoption clinic for a "behavior evaluation", our social worker suggested we go this route. We assume that her behavior is normal, but we are at a loss on how to deal with it. She is VERY jealous of Sage. If Sage gets medicine, or a drink, or in trouble or her nose wiped and you do not do the same for Mavery, be prepared. You might get a simple temper tantrum. (and when I say simple, I am being sarcastic) you might get spit at, you might get your floor peed on.
She does not talk, she yells. Riding in the car about gives me a nervous breakdown because she screams sometimes an entire 60 minute round trip ride to school. Thankfully this is getting better, MUCH better and just happens every once in awhile now. She has no patience, and if she demands something, you have about 10 seconds to respond or watch out. She does not sit, for anything. To read, color, not a thing. She moves non stop. Like I said, it might all be very normal for a 3 year old, but I am struggling with how to deal with it and how to help the rest of the children deal with it.

We had her speech evaluated on Friday and she tested at a 2 year old level. Which I think probably proves some of this behavior, which is typical 2 year old stuff. The speech therapist actually thought she was doing well overall and we hope to avoid therapy by working on some specific sounds and letters over the summer.

So, I am anxious to meet with the doctor tomorrow and get some advice. It is hard to find a balance, you are still trying to build a bond with this child, while teaching her boundaries and to live in a family.

We deeply love Mavery and we know that God has given her to us as a gift. We will do whatever it takes to help us all work through the frustrations. We know that in another 6 months, this time of challenge will probably be just a memory and we will look back and laugh! We ask that you pray for us as we listen and learn and that God will give us an extra dose of patience!

Easter Day 2009

We had a fun Easter Day, despite it being chilly outside again this year. At least we did not have snow! You know I wanted to take up sewing and never did. Well my cousin Amy has been working hard and she made her girls dresses, aren't they adorable? (the pink and brown) Makes me think I need to keep on trying! (especially since Mark bought me the machine and all!!)

Egg Hunt

Jenny planned another fun egg hunt this year for our church and town. It was a beatiful day and the kids had alot of fun. Not alot of pictures because we had one camera and the kids were divided by age. Sage was so funny. At our home egg hunt the day before, Makenna assigned each child a color, which they all did great with. Well Sage was pink and so at the church egg hunt she would only find the pink eggs. Even when everyone tried to convince her otherwise, she still insisted on pink, with a few purple. Such a girly girl!

Getting Ready for Easter

We were able to spend a few days with my nephew Graham over spring break. The kids had fun coloring eggs. I probably should not admit that I took the easy way out and we did this during the little girls nap time. I felt guilty for about 20 seconds. They never knew they missed it.

Makenna is always so creative and had a full easter party planned out for one day. She used an idea that Malaine made at school one day which was to make birds nests out of rice krispie treats. Add chocolate eggs and a peep in the shape of a chick.

She also did an egg hunt, told the Easter story using Resurrection eggs and made a craft. Such a fun big sister!

6 month update on Mavery!

I added Maverys 6 month picture on her blog over at http://www.2china4mavery.blogspot.com/

I have some updates on her that I want to add on this blog, when I can find time to get back to blogging. When I DO finally sit down and update, it will take a month to read it all. So crazy around here. I hope that I can do that soon. I WANT to do that soon.

Happy Easter!

I hope to post more pictures this week, but wanted to wish everyone a Happy Easter! I pray you had a wonderful day celebrating the reason we LIVE!

Hair Affair

We were all excited to see this double rainbow out our door recently! AND someone who is REALLY excited at our house is Ms Mavery who finally has some pigtails! Oh she has waited for such a long time to be able to do this and while they are still short, they are getting there, don't you think? Can you tell how thick her hair is? I now get why they shaved it, it is not easy to keep it under control. Can't wait to see what it is like once it gets long, seems to be taking a long time. I have not cut it at all, and thankfully it is growing out in a cute "style".

On the Road

This is what I like, zoned out children in the car! Mavery put her headphones up for the picture! This was our first trip in the big van and it sure was nice.

Our First Family Getaway

Swimming Sisters

Malaine

Sawyer thrilled that I got his picture, you know it is rare to get him.

Mavery clinging on to her daddy!

Smiling in the water, and moving in on her own terms.

Taking a rest, Sage tired from all that swimming

Recognize that pout? Yep, the same one we saw in every picture of China!
Does Mavery look a little nervous to you? Worried what Sage might try to make her do!


Mavery floating, she was most happy to float on her back like this. Sage tries to float but can't keep her body up, Mavery, she just floats right up there! ;-)



I am happy to report that we survived our first weekend trip to the lake as a family of seven! In case you are not familiar with "our lake", my parents own a condo on the Lake of the Ozarks, which is about 3 hours from us. They are so generous to let us use it. We enjoy spending time down there, especially because there is an indoor pool. We were anxious to take Mavery to see how she would do swimming and traveling. Thankfully she did better than I expected. Overall she is not a good car rider. She is better than she was , but she is still not easy. Movies? She does not even watch 2 minutes of anything. Give her a toy, she plays with it about 2 minutes and throws it around the car. Then continues to scream or repeat over and over, "I dropped my book" and when I say over and over, I mean over and over and over and over. Only stopping when you hand it back, then she throws it again. The other kids were all thankful for their noise reducing headphones I think! Because have I mentioned that Mavery does not really talk, but screams? Try explaining to her that we are going to the lake (because she also asks over and over, "where we go?") What is a lake exactly and why does it take us 3 hours to get to it? So I finally told her we were going to Walmart to shop. That she gets! One moment that we were laughing so hard.. We had Sage and Makenna in the middle, the other 3 in the very back. Mavery kept asking Sage questions, over and over.. Finally Sage screams "MAVERY QUIT YELLING AT ME". It was hilarious because Sage typically does not lose it like that, but a girl can only take so much!

This was the first time we have tried Sage & Mavery sleeping together and we were happy with how well they did. Besides getting up before 7am, they did good and maybe they will be able to share a room before to long here.

Our family enjoys swimming and the kids were very anxious to dive into the pool. Sage, got a little over excited and dove in to the deep end before putting her floats on or having one of us in with her. Thankfully Mark was close by, but we did alot of practicing this time on how to swim to the edge and by the time we left today she was swimming all over with out her floats on and able to grab on to the side. I am certain this child really is a mermaid, I have never seen a 3 year old who can hold her breath for so long under water. She has never had a lesson and is just amazing in the water. We now have 4 swimming on their own, which is nice.
Then there is Ms Mavery. She went right in all excited. (First time in a pool, China we tried to get her in with no luck) But then the water got in her face and that was that. She was done. Since her daddy does not understand done or fear of water, he spent alot of time making it fun and she was doing pretty well by today. No jumping in or anything like that, but I think there is hope. I was proud of her for trying so hard to stay in. The bribe of cookies helped a little bit to. ;0) (yeah, yeah, yeah, we are supposed to be watching her food, but that can't happen at the lake!)
I wish I had my video camera going for a few moments. First, Mavery was hanging on to the rope in the pool. Sage came up near her and Mavery screams SAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!! (meaning do not come near me because I know you are going to splash me or something crazy!) Well Sage, being Sage, thinks Mavery is looking for her, grabs onto her and says, I am right here Mavery, right here.. It was to funny, because Sage can not understand WHY in the world anyone would not want her near them!
Second, they are both sitting on the side of the hottub with their feet in the water. They start giving each other hugs and all of a sudden Sage has flipped them both into the water! Sage comes up laughing, Mavery, not so much. WE sure had a good laugh over it!
Besides swimming we did NOTHING, which was so nice. We watched movies, hung out and it was so nice to get away and just enjoy each other.

I am so far behind on posts and have more pictures, want to try to get caught up before Easter!