Goodbye Sweet Isobel

You may remember my visit to the Butterfly House in China. If not, please read about it here.

One of the first babies I laid eyes on was Isobel.  And as I heard her story from Lyn, my tears began to fall and that feeling in the pit of your stomach about how unfair life can be filled me. She shared with us that baby Isobel did not have much longer to live.  How do you walk away from that?  This beautiful child, created by God, living life as an orphan, and so, so sick.  

She seemed so healthy. An adorable little pixie so full of life and smiles.

We received word this week that Baby Isobel has gone home. She now rests in the arms of her Father. An orphan no more, healed completely.

It is hard to make sense of these things. Questions that toss around in my head. Why was she born in China, an orphan, no hope? If she had been born here, she would have had a chance. If only she could have been adopted as a newborn, maybe she could have been saved.  What if, if only, why why why...

And the Lord, ever so patient with me, reminds me. She IS saved.  He wrote her story, from Beginning to End. She did not have a family, per se. But she DID live at the Butterfly House. SHE.WAS.LOVED. While her story might not have gone as I wanted it to go, it went as HE planned it to go.  Or allowed it to go. Which is it? Honestly, I am not sure and really not in the mood to debate theology on orphans and babies who die to young.  

I am sure of this. She is Home. Heaven. Happy. Healthy, Healed. 

And here? Never, ever forgotten. 

Below is the email I received about this angel girl. Please take a moment to check out the Butterfly House and meet the people who loved on sweet Isobel.

"It is with great sadness that we share the news that Isobel has passed away. This brave little
girl exceeded all our expectations – living for longer and with more joy than we originally
thought possible. Isobel was one of our first babies. She was sent to us due to her incurable
liver disease, and she soon became a princess in Butterfly Home. She learnt to charm her
way into the hearts of visitors, and gently tease her brothers and sisters. She was funny and
clever, with a little bit of drama about her too. Most importantly of all, she was loved, and
she reflected that love back to those around her.

Isobel passed away peacefully on the night of Tuesday 19th July in her nanny’s arms. Just
last week she was in great spirits – a cheeky little girl enjoying cuddles, music and playing
silly games. During the time leading up to her death, she was never alone, and the nannies
who love her sang and prayed over her as she slept. This special little princess will be
deeply missed at Butterfly Home. We are forever thankful for the support which allowed
Isobel to live a cherished life."

6 Flags=Showing my age!

Once upon a time, I lived on days full of roller coasters and thrill rides. The faster the better! I could go on again and again.  And AGAIN!

 

As we had children, we shared with them our love of adventure. There is nothing my older's won't go on.

But for some reason, things have changed. For me.  My children, they taunt me.

As I come to the end of a ride holding my head, and praying I won't puke, they ask me...

Are you OLD? Can't handle it anymore?

And as much as I hate to admit it.

YES I AM!

After taking our older 3 to 6 flags this week (got to love the fact that homeschoolers get in on the free tickets for reading as does their teacher!) Mark and I both decided that by the time Sage and Mavery can ride things, we may have to hire someone to take them on the rides!



There are some I just refuse to ride anymore. 

There are some I ride and come off wishing I had refused to ride.

But despite my age showing, all in all it was a fun day!

We avoided the kiddy area, which was nice! Despite predictions of 100 degree heat and thunderstorms, it ended up being a perfect day. No lines, and the rain held off till we had ridden everything we wanted.  We did get to ride one coaster in the rain, which was a new experience.

And no matter the age, the day still ends with this goodness!

Loving these lazy, crazy days of summer!

Happy Birthday Rosebud!

On Wednesday I woke up with hopes that I would have news from China.  No luck.  We were heading out for the day, so I hit refresh. Over, and over. And over.  Just as I was getting ready to close the computer, an email. Birthday party photos!

Look at that Watermelon! But more important, look at those beautiful children! All ready for some fun!

And look at my girl! 

Happy Birthday Rosebud! 

May all your dreams come true sweet girl!

A Rose is a Rose is a Rose

Do not watch the petals fall from the rose with sadness, know that, like life, things sometimes must fade, before they can bloom again. 

Author Unknown

"If I could have a rose for every time I thought of you, The world would be empty of them."

Source Unknown

"Love is like a rose. When pressed between two lifetimes, it will last forever."
Source Unknown

A life with love will have some thorns, 

but a life without love will have no roses.

"Even if love is full of thorns, I'd still embrace it for I know that in between

those thorns, there is a rose that's worth all the pain."
Source Unknown

The rose speaks of love silently, 

in a language known only to the heart.

"Have you ever watched a rose as it fades away; the color becomes deeper as the petals dry. That's how my love for you deepens as the days go by."
Source Unknown

What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.

William Shakespeare

" If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I'd be picking roses for a lifetime.”
Swedish Proverb

I'd rather have roses on my table
than diamonds 'round my neck.
Emma Goldman

"The rose speaks of love silently, in a language known only to the heart."
Source Unknown

I know, we were not supposed to have favorites. And I promised myself I was not. So I will blame it on her, maybe I was HER favorite?  We just connected. She just felt RIGHT in my arms. As if she was meant to be there.  She felt good.

I did share her,  a little bit.

In case you did not read my story of Rosebud here, I will share a bit.  From what I understand, her paperwork is not quite ready in China, which means at this point, she is not available for adoption.

If she DOES become available,  she will most likely be a healthy referral as I think her only issue is she was born pre-mature. Of course, hard to know for sure at her age.  So even if we wanted to TRY to adopt her, if she is a healthy referral, she would go to those who have already been waiting for years.

And if she did go out as special needs, well, it would still take God to bring her into our family. It is not as easy as saying, I want that baby! As much as I wish it were that way, selfishly.

And what does Mark say? I think he feels pretty safe in the fact that finding her is such a crazy idea and only a miracle could bring her here. In other words, he does not have much to say.  When I talk about her, he buries his head.  ;-) 

My sweet girl is having a birthday today. Her very first birthday. And though she was not even eating food yet, but still only a bottle, I had a cake delivered.  Because every baby should have a first birthday cake.  I sure hope to get a picture of her sitting with that cake. And I wish I could be with her, helping her blow out a candle and singing silly songs. Spoiling her rotten with tons of fancy clothes and toys and hugs and kisses. 

I am not going to lie. Yep, it is all sappy and all these songs on my playlist might seem corny and just to torture myself, but it is HARD.  These children we all met while in China, they are not just photos, they are flesh and blood and they live in an orphanage. They are in a crib ALL day except @ 4-5 hours TOTAL.  It is easy when it is pictures  and we feel sad, but this baby, she is more than a picture. She is real, I KNOW what she smells like. I know where to tickle her to make her smile. I know that she has long thin fingers that probably need clipped right now. I know that she does NOT care to be left in her crib.  I know that I can make her happy just by paying attention to her. She is not scared of strangers, and she is a wiggly girl. She is tiny, but mighty! 

So this week I ask you to pray for my sweet Rosebud as she turns one. I am reminded that though I am not there, though a mommy is not there, God is. He holds her in the palm of His hand. He chose her birthday and I have no doubt that He has written the story of her life. I pray that I am able to somehow, someway, watch it unfold.

Babies IN Bumbos!

As soon as I returned from China,  you might remember that I found out about a sweet boy going Home to soon. You can read about that here.  And so in honor of Evan, I collected money to send bumbo's over to China here. 

In just a few days time, I raised almost $500 for the babies of Chenzhou, in Evan's name.  The original plan was to send bumbos, but with so much money I divided it into bumbos and exersaucers.  

Last night I was having a "I miss my Chenzhou babies terribly pity party", so much so that I asked my group to pray for me.  Not even an hour later I got an email from Chenzhou, with pictures of my babies!  

Look at them in their seats!  

I sooo needed this!! This is only part of the order, so hopefully as the rest gets in, more pictures will come!

And of course it helps that they sent me plenty of my Rosebud!  ;-)

If you donated, THANK YOU!!! And if you wanted to but did not get a chance, I will be doing more things like this.  

Isn't it just like God?  When we cry out to Him, He answers! My heart really needed this, to see that they have not forgotten us, that they are ok! AND they even put Rosebud in the pants I bought her! 

I have more to share, will soon I promise!

Sawyer First time at Camp

I sent Sawyer off for his first year of camp this week.

I dreamed that he was so homesick Mark had to drive the 4 hours to bring him home.

I figured he would come home with moldy towels and clean underwear. 

He did take Papa Larry along as one of his chaperones, that was for MY sake more than his. 

He came home today.

From the smile on his face, I don't think he missed us one little bit.

His favorite activity was Archery. And he was very impressed with the food. I am certain I should be offended by this since he will hardly ever eat what I make, and THAT was cafeteria food.

He said he knows that God has a plan for his life, he is just trying to figure that out still.

He said he also learned that 6th grade girls are the most annoying ever. 

We have alot of girls in this house, but no 6th graders I guess.

 I am happy to report that the underwear were all in the dirty clothes bag.  And the wet towels were, well, in all the bags!

We missed our boy child, and are thrilled that he had such a great week!

I Miss Her

My Rosebud...

Life besides China, kind of!

I DO realize that I have 5 children here, my whole world does not revolve around China.  Though it IS all wrapped up together in so many ways.. Here is such a mix of there.....

My own Chinese Angels giving me a Rock Concert.

Most of the time you will find this child begging to get on the computer and look at pictures of babies. From China. She especially enjoys looking at the orphans who wait. She can tell you more about the Waiting Children than most agencies. Tonight she was asking how many days till she is able to go to China to work.  And what type of work she can do to save her money.

Today we welcomed Uncle Shane home, from??? CHINA!! ;-) See what I mean, this life here is so closely woven together with there. Shane left for China in August and is now home till early September. I was able to see him while there, but the kids were thrilled! If you look closely you will see we recycled our signs from our homecoming. He enjoyed that.  ;-)  It is good to have him here, because that means hearing more stories of THERE!!

Meet June

So many times when people are looking for a child, they are looking for a baby. And who can blame us them? Cute, easy, cute, cuddly, cute, quiet (in the can't talk back yet type of quiet) did I mention cute?

I will be the first to admit, I am drawn to babies. Partly because of the reasons above. Partly I dont' feel done with babies, I have all the other ages thank you very much.  But a baby, I could do a baby. 

I mean honestly, WHO thinks when they think of taking on a child... Hmm, how about a TEENAGER?  Much less, who thinks a THIRTEEN year old? 

In reality, when I think of 13 year olds, I think of mouthy, moody, monsters!

Ok, so maybe that is a bit dramatic, unless of course you are living with a 13 year old. Then you get me.


While in China I met a 13 year old girl.  I will call her June. 

Because she had a birthday while we were there. Unfortunately we did not know that.  A June girl.

I actually wonder if she even knew it was her birthday. Something tells me they do not tell the kids, hey today is YOUR day!

Because she turned 13, it means she only has ONE YEAR left to find a family.  Or she loses her chance, forever.  At 14 they are to old.


So what becomes of her?  We really do not know.

Here is what I know about June.

She is beautiful and her smile lights up her face.

She watches out for the little ones. One day she was upstairs with us and we were trying to get the kids downstairs. One of the little ones needs a walker, and we did not know where it was. We did not have to say a word, June was on it and ran off to help her little friend.

She attends school so we were not with her as much as some of the other kids.  We know she can count in English and writes well.

She has palsey of the left limbs. But it did not seem to affect her.

Her favorite color is yellow. 

And she wants a family. She told us this.

Because she only has ONE YEAR left,  she needs her family to step up NOW. 

It COULD be done. 

So she might not be what you or I would typically think of when we think of adoption. 

She is 13. she has lived in an orphanage her entire life. There will be issues to work through.

Though we did NOT see this side of her, she MIGHT be like any teenage girl.

MOUTHY & MOODY!

Or she might not, because she might just look at life a bit differently.

Regardless of any of that, she wants a family.  She DESERVES a family, doesn't she?

She needs a daddy to tell her she is beautiful before she starts looking at boys.

She needs a mommy to take her shopping, fix her hair, talk to her about life.

She needs to hear about Jesus... 

Please help me spread the word about June. WE can be her voice.  WE can lift her up in prayer till she is home.  WE could change her world. 

Coming Home

Since I have been home almost a week, I figure it is time to come back to my "home blog".  

I had a post written up today to share here about a beautiful girl we met that was looking for a family.  

Then I found out she HAS a family! 

But she is not the only one waiting, so I will be sharing.  

I hope that you had a chance to follow our journey to China. 

It was life changing. 

And I can't wait to go back!

Prayers for travel

China team heading home soon. Check out the heading home post. :-) teamchenzhou.blogspot.com. Pray for the team as they travel!

Nearing the end of the Trip

There are some more posts about the last moments in Chenzou and the beginning thoughts about Beijing.  Some pictures from Shepherd's Field are added to Flickr.

Updates from China

There are a few updates on the Team Chenzou Blog.  Pictures from the trip are being posted on Flickr.  Click on the Flickr Badge on the side bar to get to the pictures.

A Brief post up about an adventerous day

Just time for a brief post about meeting "Angel" and visiting the police station.

http://teamchenzhou.blogspot.com/2011/06/day-i-will-never-forget.html

Check Out Two New China Posts and flickr Photos

You can see two new posts

Here
and

Here

And check out photos on Flickr

Here

To China we go!

Bags are packed.

And even zipped shut!

House is cleaned.

Schedules are made. 

And in just a few more hours, Makenna &  I will begin a journey of a lifetime. 

I will get to see China through her eyes.

I pray we are never the same. 

Join us at my travel blog by clicking HERE. 

testing

testing to see if I can email my blog posts!

Flying a million miles

I have been pretty calm about the whole going to China thing overall. 

I know Mark is amazing and will do great with the kids.

Well, besides the fashion part. Hair and clothes are not his thing. And he admits that.

So the kids might be naked and their hair a mess.  BUT they will be having fun. 

Plus the kids have a whole bunch of invitations to come play. 

A bible study class even asked if they could make meals for Mark. 

 I know they will all be just fine. 

I have an amazing team, have LOVED getting to know them so far and can't wait to spend 2 weeks with them. 

God has shown up in such AMAZING ways as we have prepared for this trip.

But I had a little panic moment today. 

There is the whole thing of Mark is always in charge of electronics, I can blog and I can email, but I can't get things set up!

And the money.  Mark is my walking calculator. or bank, whatever I need.

But what REALLY hit me is this. 

I do NOT enjoy flying.  AT. ALL.

And it is one thing to get on a flight knowing I am flying a REALLY long time, to get a BABY. 

But to think of all those hours on a plane, and I come home.  With empty arms. 

No baby.  WHAT AM I DOING!!!

But, the Lord, who is always so good to remind me of why This. is. not. about. me... spoke to me.

I will NOT be coming home with my baby. 

In the flesh anyways.  ;-)

BUT, I will be coming home with SO many pictures. 

And memories.

Maybe I can't bring my ONE child home.  But maybe I can bring home LOTS of babies.

For people who are waiting. 

One of our team prayers is that we are able to take photos of kids that are waiting. 

Then come home and share about those children.  To put a story with a picture.

So while flying a million miles is NOT my favorite thing to do.

Helping families grow IS. 

Pray for us, Friday is THE day! I will be switching over to my travel blog, but will post a link here.