Sneak or Sneeze?

I hate meal time. Seriously, my life would be so much better if I did not have to EVER feed my children. They would be so happy if we had pancakes for dinner every night. It is always a battle to get them to eat. Always. So last night we are eating dinner, and mind you we are having grilled chicken, rice and corn. Nothing horrible. Just simple easy food. Well they were convinced the rice had bugs in it. And so we battled on and on. Makenna tries scraping the rice around the plate to say she is done. Mark says, you need to take lessons from malaine on how to "sneak". A few weeks ago he caught her hiding her hands in the trash can unwrapping candy and shoving it in her mouth. Makenna says, "Malaine will you teach me to sneak? " Malaine answers, "Oh ok, you go like this... leans her head way back and says "ah Choo". We all look at her and Makenna says it again, will you teach me to sneak. Again, she does a big Ah Choo. Finally we realize she thinks she is saying sneeze. And no matter how many times we try to explain sneak, she would say, Oh ok like this, and continue to sneeze! It was way cute! She never did get what Makenna was talking about! and never did understand why we were all rolling on the floor laughing! So makenna never got her lesson in being a sneak, and yes she did eat all of the rice!

Retail Therapy

Trying to post pictures, but can't figure out the new camera. So look for pictures later! I was able to get away this weekend along w/ 7 other ladies to The Lake of the Ozarks. It was members of the MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) steering team which I am a part of. It is amazing that 8 woman could stay together for 2 nights and all get along perfect! We had a blast. We stayed on property of the outlet mall. So we shopped, ate, shopped, laughed till we cried, shopped, ate, you get the picture! It was perfect therapy for me that is for sure. After being so sick, thankfully I felt fine for the weekend. And w/ the referral news coming out right before we left, it was perfect timing. I told Mark this is great therapy for referral depression. I think he is hoping referrals start speeding up because we can't afford retail therapy once a month!! :) In another post I will share our new weight loss strategy we started!

As for referrals... Sadly the rumors came true. They only included May 26-30. And 2 of those dates are weekend dates, which you don't get LID's for weekends. So, that is 3 LID's. Wow. Everyone is in shock, and can't figure out what is going on. As far as I know, they have NEVER done this few of days before. What does it mean? The really scary rumor is that May 31st is huge, so are they only planning to include that day in the next batch which will not be out till the end of April? Will they only do 5 days at a time from here on out? IF that were the case, for us that would mean a referral in July. Right now they are 21 days away from our date. Maybe they did this short batch, and then will include ALL of June in the next round? Who knows, no one really knows except China. And God of course.

So what are my thoughts? You know what? Maybe it was simply being able to "get away" for just a few days. But I feel peace. I know God has a plan. Do I understand it? No. Do I like it? No. But I trust that God loves me, He loves Sage and He wants her to be home. I also trust that He will hold her till I am there. He will bring her home when it is His time. Last week I questioned Mark, did we hear the right country? Did he maybe say, Vietnam, or Guatamala, and we just thought we heard China? But I have no doubt that he led us to China because that is where Our Sage is waiting. And I have no doubt that the moment she is finally in my arms, I will understand why we waited.

So, yes it stinks. but for now I am ok. However, anyone want to plan a girls shopping weekend for the end of April? I might need it!

Rumors Galore

Always a few weeks before referrals, rumor world begins in the Land of Adoption. Somebody knows somebody who's neighbors brothers best friends cousin heard through the grapevine that this is the inside info on the new batch of referrals. I would like to say I try not to read the rumors, but we all know that is not true. During the wait, you are grasping on to ANY detail you can find. So as promised on Friday, everyone said rumors should start Monday. What do you know? They did. Not a peep till then, which seemed odd. So this week the "rumor" is that referrals are only coming out through the end of May. As you can imagine, that has caused an uproar. NOT what is wanted to hear. I am not buying into it... yet. My agency, Childrens Hope Intl, says our CHI staff who talk to CCAA in China, have not said this. Maybe they are out of the loop? Or maybe, this is just rumors, and no one really knows anything yet, because there is nothing to know. It ain't over till it's over, and until I see it posted on the CCAA board, I don't believe it. I am still praying for a miracle. HOWEVER, if this nasty rumor proves to be true, what does that mean for us? We are LID 6/20. If they only cover the rest of May, my guess is we will not get our referral till June. Maybe late May. BUT WE ARE NOT GOING THERE!! Sage is waiting for me, and I am ready to go. (after I am over strep anyways, WHICH WILL BE SOON!!) We need miracles.

One Strep Two Strep, Everybody Has Strep!

Makenna tested positive for strep today, so the doctor is going to treat all 3 kids to be safe. Thank goodness. She wants to retest Makenna to make sure she is not a "carrier". when she looked in her throat today it looked fine, but she tested her because of me. She was really surprised she had it. Can Mark miss it? He better, because I have a girls weekend scheduled for Friday through Sunday and I don't want to miss! Hopefully we will all be healthy by that point.

SICK AGAIN!!

I have had a sore throat since last week. Blamed it on the weather, and sinus drainage. Well today I decided to "look" in my throat and I saw white spots. Called the dr and they told me to come get a strep test done. And yes, I have strep, AGAIN! Never have had strep, now I get it twice in a months time. Thankfully this time so far I don't feel like I am about to die...yet. Maybe I never got over it the first time, which seems possible, because I have not felt real great this past month, but have blamed that on being in my 9th month of pregnancy, I mean waiting! Anyways, I am back on medicine and I am taking the kids in this afternoon to get checked. Makenna has had some weird symptoms going on, so better safe than sorry. We are sick of being sick!! Mark says he is moving out before he gets anything!

Do you Believe in Miracles?

Of course I do. I have 3 angels here to prove that miracles do happen. Lately I am praying for another miracle. China has sent referrals for up to May 25th. In just a few weeks another batch should be coming. For the past 6 months or so, they have only been sending out at most 2 weeks of LID's. Before that they sent close to a whole month over. So if you were LID anytime during June, you would get your referral w/ all the people of June. Why did it slow down when we started? I have many theorys, but I don't really have an answer. So if they go according to their latest trend, they will be sending referrals for LID's from May 26 through maybe a week or so of June. Or even worse, only a few days into June. Then they could do the middle of June coming out in April or May, and then gasp, send out the last part of June in June which is where we could fall. So here is my prayer, and I am asking all of you to pray w/ us. Pray for a miracle. That ALL of June would come out in this next batch. I believe w/ all my heart that it could happen. But it will ONLY be by the grace of God that it would. Not only do we want our baby home, we want ALL the babies home. We are so ready! We have made wonderful friends that we may get to travel w/ if our miracles happen. Makenna has made a friend online who she might get to travel w/, again, if ALL of June comes over. But most important, we are just ready to hold our baby. We have waited and waited and waited. We have prayed for her and she is SO real to us. So if you will, pray w/ us. That God would give us, along w/ ALL the waiting June families a miracle. Most important, that He would give us peace with whatever HIS plan is.

Painting Fun in Daddy's Office

Not the best of ideas to let the kids help w/ the painting, but they enjoyed themselves! Mark is working away on ceramic tile for the floor this week. Hopefully by the end of the month he will be moved into this room and I can start working on fitting a crib into our room!

DIAPER FREE!!

For a while anyways! I went to church last week w/ no diaper bag for the first time in over 5 years! YEAH!! It has been almost 8 years of diapers here. We had a short break between Makenna and Sawyer and now FINALLY Malaine has decided she is done. Isn't this picture terrible blackmail? She will hate me someday so don't tell. And no, those are NOT her real teeth. Anyways, just wanted to share the good news. It has been over a week w/ no accidents so YEAH!!!!

YUMMY Mac & Cheese

I took this recipe off of another blog a few months back and it is SO Good. Who knew mac and cheese could be this delicious? Personally, I am pretty sure I had never had it unless it was from a box. Maybe that is why I was not a big fan. Till Now!! Hope you enjoy.

I guess the recipe comes from Patti LaBelle courtesy of the Oprah Show, and of course from a fellow blogger and adoptive mom!

• 1 TBSP Vegetable Oil
• 1 pound (box) elbow macaroni
• 8 TBSP (1 stick) plus 1 TBSP Butter
• 1/2 Cup (2 oz) shredded Muenster Cheese
• 1/2 Cup (2 oz) Shredded Mild Cheddar Cheese
• 1/2 Cup (2 oz) Shredded Sharp Cheddar Cheese
• 1/2 Cup (2 oz) Shredded Monterey Jack Cheese
• 2 Cups Half & Half
• 1 Cup (8oz) Velveeta cut into small cubes
• 2 Large Eggs, slightly beaten
• Salt & Pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lighter butter a deep 2 1/2 quart casserole pan.

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil over high heat. Add the oil, then the elbow macaroni and cook until macaroni is tender.(approx 7 minutes) Do not overcook. Drain well and return to cooking pot.

In a small saucepan, melt the eight tablespoons of butter. Stir into the macaroni. In a large bowl, mix the muenster, mild and sharp cheddar and monterey jack cheeses. To the macaroni add the half and half, 1 1/2 cups of shredded cheese, the cubed velveeta, and the eggs. Season w/ salt and pepper. Transfer to the buttered casserole. Sprinkle w/ the remaining 1/2 cup of cheese and dot with the remaining one Tbls of butter.

Bake until bubbling around the edges and browned lightly on top, about 35 minutes. Serve hot and enjoy!

I usually double the recipe and cook it in a 9 x 13 cake pan. I prepare it the night before and bake when needed.

More Baby Dreams

Here is Malaine in her new "ladybug" outfit. We love ladybugs around here, as they are "supposed" to be good luck in China adoption World! Speaking of Malaine, she has been dry in panties since last night. I am not holding my breath, but maybe, just maybe SHE has decided she is done w/ diapers. Hmmm...
I have been praying that God would speak to me in my dreams. I realize I am not a very good listener and when I sleep might be the only time I am quiet enough to hear Him. So I am not sure how much I can read into this, but i did have sweet dreams last night. First, we were meeting w/ our social worker to get an update on our homestudy. She told us that we were going to be getting a referral and that they were getting ready to mail ALL of June over from China. Then we were in China, in a room, and a bunch of ladies came in carrying our babies. We could not pick Sage out of them. All of a sudden i was holding her though and she was just looking at me and calm. She was also very tiny, and she had narrow eyes. It was so real, I could "feel" her in my arms. And let me tell you, it felt good. Very good.

And if She is He??

When we filled out our paperwork for China, we said we would be open to a girl or a boy. One reason we struggled with choosing a country at first was because we knew if we went to China, we were pretty well saying we would get a girl. At first we felt that maybe we needed a boy to "even out" the numbers here. Of course through much prayer we decided that China was where our child was and if we were meant to get a boy, we would fall into the 5% of boys that are referred. Through this wait I have wondered, but feel pretty strongly that our baby is a girl. If we do get a boy, I admit I will be in shock. Although I will be fine w/ it. I just want a baby. We can debate what is better boy or girl and having both I can give an opinion on each. both is best, that is my theory and I am sticking to it! ;) Even Sawyer has come to terms with the fact that Sage is our baby out there, and that he will be forever "girltrapped". Anyways, through all these months we have struggled over a name. To go along w/ Makenna, Sawyer and Malaine it has been tough. Has to be an S name. (yes call me weird but don't you think He might feel left out if he did not have an S or M to go along w/ the rest of the family? ) And we could not go w/ a name like Sam. While I think it is a very cute name, it is also very popular and normal and I like different. I have come up w/ and mark has denied: Szander, Stryker, Shamus, Siegen, Sieger, Simeon, and my list went on. We were leaning towards Sullivan for awhile, but to much monster ink for the kids. And did you know that once you get your referral is not the time to think up a name? From what i understand, you only have a matter of days to turn in your paperwork WITH the babies name on it. Let me tell you, if I get a boy referral, the shock is going to be enough that we DO NOT want me to be trying to find a name at that point. Who knows what I might name the kid. So IF we get a boy, his name will be Stryder. I like it. I don't care if no one else does. I feel MUCH peace over it and that is that.
Mark, Shannon, Makenna, Sawyer, Malaine & Stryder OR
Mark, Shannon, Makenna, Sawyer, Malaine & Sage

So what is your guess, which will it be?

My Husband the Hero!

Mark fixed the website! He remembered that he had backed up all files and so was able to go and retrieve them. PRAISE THE LORD!! I feel much better. Believe me, we are making hard copies from now on! So now if you go to our website at www.laxtonkids.com You can access the blog right there. Still working on some of the pictures and such, but it will be easier in china to have it all together. Now if Mark could just figure out a way to get us our referral....

Pity Party

It has not been a fun week around here. I started off with strep throat. No one else in my house had it, and I don't think I have had it since I was a child. But it wiped me out. Very miserable, still not fully over it. Then referral rumors came out, and did not go nearly as far into the month as I had hoped and prayed for. At the rate they are coming, I am sure it could be June before we get a referral. I am just losing patience. Then to top it all off.. Mark was trying to connect our blog into our website so you could read them together. Well, somehow while doing it, my website journal was lost. All 10 months of it that I have written. We had already lost it once before, and you would think I would learn my lesson after that and hardcopy. But i did not. Only this time instead of a few months, it was closer to a year of entries. I am sick. I had planned that everything I write on these blogs would be my journals for Sage. I kept written journals during my other 3 pregnancies for the other kids. Now everything I had worked on for her is gone. Mark feels horrible of course. Personally i am cursing the website company for the way they have their things set up. I will post their name to you as soon as I make sure they can't do a miracle and find my journal. If they can't help, (which mark says there is no way it is gone forever) I will be telling you who NOT to go through if you want a personal website. To top it all off i have horrible PMS. I need a vacation. Better yet, I need my baby. Sigh...

The Good and Bad of Waiting...

Top 10 Reasons Why I am losing my mind through this wait for Sage....

1. Because when we started this process last February, and had our paperwork done by May, we figured we would have our baby in January. This was NOT OUR plan.
   
2. I am not a patient person. I don't wait, I do. Most of the time, I don't like to procrastinate. I plan, I get done. Sigh...
3. It is the neverending pregnancy. I could have been pregnant twice by now.
   
4. You just never know. Will they send out a full month of referrals, will they cut off?
5. I missed her first Thanksgiving, her first Christmas, her first New Years, her first Valentines Day, her first Easter. I really want her first Birthday!
   
6. Because I am a mother and she is MY daughter. This is not natural. I should be the one holding her and taking care of her at this stage of her life.
   
7. Because we have no idea if she is being cared for properly. Is she getting her diaper changed? Is she crying and no one answers? Is she happy?
   
8. I also missed her first smile. Is she sitting up, is she young, or older? Does she have alot of hair?
   
9. My arms ache to hold her.
   
10. I love her so much already it takes my breath away.
    

Top 10 Reasons Why I am ok with waiting till summer to travel...(I have to try to keep myself sane by convincing myself it is ok)

1. There will be no school schedule to come home to. We can relax, sleep in, and be lazy for a few months while we adjust.
   
2. We can pack lighter. No coats to haul around, no bulky sweaters.
   
3. I can wear flip flops if I want.
   
4. It gives me more time to lose those 10 pounds i want to get rid of.
   
5. i can't stand being frozen, and climbing the great wall in snow would not have been fun.
6. Capris are my favorite type of clothing.
   
7. Summer schedules will mean more help w/ babysitting for our kids while they stay behind.
   
8. Hopefully Mark will be out of our closet and moved into the office in the basement, which will be very helpful in setting up our room as half nursery.
   
9. Because God had a plan, long before I did, and He has grown me in alot of ways through this LONG wait.
   
10. because I trust that God is holding her, until I get there.
    

Bad Parenting 101

I should be embarrased to even admit this one. Today Malaine and I attended a new playgroup along with some of her cousins. She had a great time and I am happy to have found it. They do a bible story, songs, parachute time, snacks, along with playtime. Afterwards, cousins Amy and Jaylyn joined us at home for lunch. When i walked in I said, "I can' forget to go pick up Sawyer from preschool in 45 minutes." Well, guess what? I forgot. And not just by a few minutes, but by a FULL HOUR!! Thankfully his school also has a daycare, so they just took him in there. And Sawyer did not seem fazed by it. But I felt horrible. Bad, bad mom. I guess it could have been worse. Maybe.

Leave it to a Teacher!

We received this prayer and quilt square from our almost in a round about way cousin who was Makenna's Kindergarten teacher and will be Sawyer's teacher next year. I just thought it was SO adorable wanted to share it w/ you. Some people took my hint a few weeks ago!! I have to say also that Amber did not know we were collecting squares. So I gave her the letter on Friday at our Chinese New Year Party and by Sunday at our superbowl party, she had it here! Isn't that amazing! And yes, we are STILL collecting! Let me just say this, we will be collecting until YOU get your quilt square to me!

Chinese New Year at our House

The kids Made Hats
Our "chinese" Princess
The Grandmas feeding the girls treats from their red envelopes.
Beautiful Dalayna
Malaine celebrating the "Year of the Dog"

We had a wonderful time at our Party this weekend. Well besides the fact that one kid got sick and my son ran into the edge of a chair and had a HUGE lump on his head, but besides that! We had a full chinese buffet of food. Of course we don't believe in all the superstitions that go along with the Chinese New Year. My aunt, Dalayna's Grandma made each of us a red envelope that included Chinese Trivia, prayer requests, and candy! The prayer requests included prayers for Sage, which of course made me teary, along w/ prayers for her birth parents. And for Dalaynas birth parents. Each of us in our family has a burden for China, and we pray that God would bring salvation to the people there. The kids made lanterns, along w/ some of the adults, hats and had fun popping confetti. We can't wait till next year when Sage will be here to celebrate.

Makennas Prayer Request

Sunday at Church, Makenna was asked to draw a picture of something she is praying for. Isn't this sweet?

100 Good Wishes Quilt

As most of you know, we are TRYING to put together a quilt for the baby. If you go to our website, you can read the full details. www.laxtonkids.com. Click on quilt. We have 50 squares, but still need 50 more to complete it. I have attached some of the pages of blessings and prayers that we have been sent. We love looking through this album and reading the sentiments from our family and friends. The plan is to have the quilt made, but that may wait even till after the baby is home. We REALLY want to get the squares though! It is not that hard! We have more squares from my online adoption friends, than i have from my family! Yes that is a subtle hint. So let me know if you have any questions, please email me. laxton@htc.net 50 more!!

Smile

Because I like to torture myself as much as possible, every song I listen to turns into an adoption song. I heard this one way back and just thought it was perfect. It is by Chris Rice and it is called Smile. He wrote it talking about the day he meets Jesus. Of course I long for that day also. But for now, I have changed the words just a bit for Sage.

How far are you? How close am I?
I know the words are true but I don't feel them inside.
Still I believe, you'll never leave
So where are you now?

Your all i want, you are all I know
Your breath is breathing in my soul
Still I am grasping, aching asking
Where are you now?

I just want to be with you
Just want this waiting to be over
I just want to be with you
and it helps to know that day is getting closer

Every minute takes an hour
Every inch feels like a mile
Till I won't have to imagine
And I finally get to see you Smile

My jouney's here, but my heart is there
So i dream and wait and keep the faith while your prepared
For our destiny, till you come home to me
Oh please make it soon

I just want to be with you
I just want this waiting to be over
I just want to be with you
And it helps to know the day is getting closer

Every minute takes an hour
Every inch feels like a mile
Till I wont' have to imagine
And I finally get to see you smile