And the Decision is....

Makenna is going to stay home, and will not travel to China with us. And I say that w/ out breaking into crying as I have been all week!. It has been a long week of many tears, but most of all many prayers. We made this decision as a family. We got many opinions from everyone, which we wanted. But when it came down to it, Mark and I agreed, our number 1 priority of this trip, was Sage. Could we give 100% of ourselves to Sage, if we were worried about Makenna missing school, worried about Makenna being bored etc.. And Makenna agreed. She is excited about going on vacation w/ her Grandma and Grandpa while we are gone, and getting to be back in school on time w/ her friends. It is amazing, the peace we all seem to feel here. God is so GREAT isn't He? If we are just willing to lay it down at His feet, He will make it clear.
Thank you for all your support and your prayers for us over this decision. We ask that you keep them coming for all 3 kids. They have NEVER been away from us like this before. And Sawyer will start kindergarten w/ out me, Makenna 3rd grade. I am sad, but I know that God knew our travel dates LONG ago, and so I just continue to trust that He is going to see us through.

Vacation Pictures

If you scroll down, you can go back through our posts from our trip and I added some pictures. Check out that volcano, doesn't it look YUMMY!! Though I am STILL working that off, along w/ all the other foods we dined on! Worth every bite!

A No Win Situation...

We still do not know when we will be in China for sure, but today we got a message that said they hope to have us there around August 17th. We would get Sage on the 20th. Her 9 month birthday! This could change by a week later. So here is our dilema. The entire time we had planned to take Makenna with us. She wants to go, is EXCITED to go. And part of us wants her to go. What a trip of a lifetime! However, missing your first week of 3rd grade, possibly your first 2 weeks, seems like a big deal. And she is torn over this also. She loves school, misses her friends, misses the routine. So we have been leaning towards maybe she should stay home. It would be alot easier trip on us if she did not go in many ways. I think she would do pretty well overall, but there are going to be times when she won't. There are going to be times that I won't do well! I am literally sick over this. I wish she could go for part of it, and fly home early. I just feel like I can't win. If we take her, she misses that much school. If we don't take her, will I feel guilty over it the rest of my life? So please pray for us as we struggle over this decision. We have to make it NOW!

Happy Birthday Sage!

Today, July 20th, our Sage is 8 months old. How I long to be with her to celebrate another month in her little life. To take a picture to celebrate this birthday. To record all the things she is doing. To snuggle with her and kiss those chunky cheeks! Please pray for us that we will be with her before she turns 9 months old. In honor of Sage, we went back to the mall of course! For lunch I ate chinese, the kids don't go for that. And we went back to Build a Bear. On Monday we made our first animal, and the plan was that was that. The kids had made a bear for Malaine while they waited for her to be born, so of course they wanted to do one for Sage, but not the same bear as they did for Malaine. The kids chose the BIG bunny. And they had fun stuffing it, fluffing it, and we all kissed a heart and made a wish for Sage and stuffed it into the Bunny. They chose the red white and blue outfit for the bunny to wear. And they named the bunny Faith. Before we even started the adoption God placed Hebrews 11:1 on my heart and I have repeated that verse over and over through this neverending wait. "Now FAITH is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see". When Mark seemed so against me in the beginning, I had Faith that God had spoke adoption to me for a reason and that He would speak to Mark. When the wait went on and on, it took ALOT of Faith to hold on and trust in Our Father, but I was certain of what I hoped for and I trusted that God would give me what He promised. So we all agreed that Faith seemed the perfect name for our bunny, who was waiting for the little gift we still have yet to see! After getting Faith done and the more I thought about it, i wished I had insisted the kids chose a smaller animal, so that Sage could actually hold it and not be scared of its size! So today, to celebrate Sage's 8 month birthday, we went back. And stuffed the velvet little bear. And had just as much fun(ok to be honest, build a bear is NUTS and 3 kids fighting over who does what, only slightly fun!) but we now have a small bear that is very kid friendly and who is named Qiao Qiao. Which we are guessing is what they are calling Sage in China. We plan to take this little bear w/ us to China and we are planning on playing w/ her, sleeping w/ so that she will be a part of us to give to Sage.
Please pray for our Sage. That she is healthy and being loved on. Please pray we get our travel approval quickly. While we have enjoyed our week, we are all anxious to get home and start working on our packing for China. And last please pray for her birth mother & father. I can't help but wonder, as my heart cries for missing her so much this day, does her birthmother hurt to? We both have sad hearts over this little girl that we can't hold. My day is coming though, and she will be in my arms. Her birth mother will never get that.
Happy Birthday Sweet Sage.

The Park at Mall of America

Sorry, no pictures, will try to add them in the morning. Last year the park was called Camp Snoopy, and everything had a Snoopy Theme. I guess there was some thing w/ $ and keeping the name so now all snoopy is gone. But the kids were not sad, still had their same favorite rides. It is the perfect park for our kids. Makenna can ride everything, Sawyer everything but one ride. It was crowded, but the lines were not bad. Poor Malaine will be 10 before she gets to ride anything but kiddy rides, she is so short. Which is ok w/ her, she is not the daredevil that her siblings are. She will be happy to have Sage w/ her hanging out in the younger area!
It is always a challenge trying to take all 3 kids to the park during the day while Mark works. I am exhausted trying to keep up w/ them all, and I can't even imagine if we tried this next year. I am not sure i will be that brave on my own. i told Mark we should have brought along our favorite babysitter, (who is so kindly watching our dog back home!), but another person involves another room blah, blah, blah... The only real problem i had was at lunch. We were eating in the food court, and as soon as we sit down malaine announces she has to go to the bathroom. So what does a mom do? I won't even admit it, but lets just say it all worked out fine!
i did get a lecture from some "nice" man when Sawyer got on the escalator ahead of me, before i was ready so he came running UP the escalator to get back to me. The man said" i hope you know these are dangerous". And so I, w/ my "nice Christian attitude" said, Yes, I realize that and I don't make it a habit of letting my children play on them, thank you very much. What i really wanted to say was, yes, i am going crazy here w/ all these kids, can you help me get them down the steps in a safe way? It was a man by the way, another mom, would have been nicer, i hope!
Of course this area has so many visitors from around the world. And so we saw lots of little asian girls. One family was waiting on a ride next to me, and seeing those girls, just made my heart cry. I started thinking, here we are having a blast, and our daughter and sister is sitting half way around the world, in an orphange. So I did what any good mommy would do. Took the kids out to the mall for a quick shopping trip and bought Sage some clothes. Doesn't make up for her not being here of course, but buying her things makes me feel like we are getting closer to actually putting these clothes on her.
Mark did join us at the park after work and the kids had fun taking him on all their favorite rides. We finished the night w/ dinner at The Rainforest Cafe. We had The Volcano for dessert. Sinful is all i can say! YUM! It is alot of fun, they bring it out and all the waiters yell VOLCANO and it is all lit up and sparkly and the kids thought it was amazing. Sugar high before bed always a good thing!
We did get calls from home about the terrible storms. My parents said our trampoline was around the neighborhood. Bummer. I feel bad everyone is w/ out power there. Thankful I am here! Prayerfully the air will be back on tomorrow for everyone. Just an FYI, we are not able to access our e-mail from here, so if you are trying to reach me, you have to comment here. Off to try to sleep off some calories, sure!

Last Vacation as a Family of 5!

Makenna & Malaine at the ski show.
Forever Mama's Boy!
To much for Malaine to check out at the Lodge!
Our Pirates at the Ski Show!

In June we had planned to go up North w/ Mark while he was in training for work. Thankfully the trip was cancelled since our referral came the week we should have been gone. Lucky for us he was still able to schedule a week to work from St Paul, Mn. And this is the week! We left our house on Friday and stayed 2 nights on the drive up at the Wisconsin Dells. We had a blast! We stayed at the Great Wolf Lodge which was wonderful. Our room was very nice, the place has waterparks everywhere. FUN, lots of FUN! We did go and see a ski show while there which was ok. the kids liked it, but it was hot. And on the drive out we wasted our money on Ripleys Believe it or Not. Cost a fortune and we were done w/ in an hour. The Dells is somewhere we would go back to for sure.
Sunday we drove on up to St Paul. We are staying close to the Mall of America. Mark drives into work and the kids and I take the shuttle over to the mall. i would like to think i am walking off all the junk we are eating, but I have a feeling not. There are so many good places to eat! Sunday we had Famous Dave's BBQ. Monday we had steak. Tonight we ate Bubba Gumps. I LOVE thier food and it is such a fun place to eat! The kids have been begging for Rainforest Cafe so that is tomorrow. Lunch was a fabulous italian place. So much for sticking to my diet. We have shopped, made a bunny at build a bear for Sage(more on that later), shopped, played, been swimming and shopped some more!
I added a few pictures from the Dells. Tomorrow we will spend the day at the Park inside the mall so hopefully more pictures to come!

2 Weeks Down..

i can't stand not having her picture at the top of the blog! 2 weeks down since referral. How many days till we hear something? ANYTHING!! Please continue to pray for Sage, especially for her health. We are praying for updates. Greedy isn't it? 2 weeks ago we finally get her pictures, now we ask for more! But these pictures are so old, they were taken in April. I know babies change alot in 3 months. I would just like to see her now and especially to know that she is doing well. Our agency requests pictures and measurements , but never knows if they will get them.
We have Sage's crib up in our room. We are quickly filling it w/ all things China. I am supposed to pack light. And I am trying, really trying. But what if... Any tips on packing, PLEASE pass them on!

From the Mouth of Sawyer

Sawyer finished up his first year of coach pitch last week. Not sure he is headed for a career in baseball!
On the drive to church Sunday, each of the kids had a picture of Sage to "show off" to their friends. Sawyer says, "This baby is not that dark". We replied that she will probably look darker in person and might get darker as she is older. Sawyer"Oh, so right now she just looks like a regular person" Of course this is said w/ all innocence of a 5 year old, and so it was a little funny. However, we might need to have a lesson in being "politically correct" in our house before Sage is home!

One Week Down!

Beautiful Glass Art from Mark's parents on referral day.
Sweet Card from our friends the Harriss Family
Chocolate ladybugs, musical ladybugs and sweet girl ribbon from Aunt Judy & Uncle Ray.
Ladybug Purse, pen and bear from our friends the Dickmann Family.
The kids got ladybug suckers from Megan our babysitter.

Mark & I both agreed, last week was the LONGEST in the adoption process so far! We were busy, but it just seems like we have had Sage's picture forever already! Mark asked on Friday, shouldn't we have our travel packet, shouldn't we be filling out paperwork? Oh yeah, it has only been 5 days. Sigh... So right now we just wait. We wait to hear from China that we can go. And I think that you typically hear in about 3-4 weeks. Then travel about 3-4 weeks later. We are ready, oh so ready! We have Sage pictures everywhere. We blew them up to large sizes, so we can study every tiny minute detail about her. By the way, her little nails are long and she is scratching her face! I need to be there so i can cut those for her. We really hope we get updated pictures and measurements before travel. We are in love with this picture, and yet she probably looks nothing like it! We can't wait to see if she has hair!
We hope everyone has a very Happy 4th of July!

Song That is Playing

Or if it is not playing, hit play on the left! I have had quite a few people asking about the song, Isn't it perfect? I repasted the words that I had posted back in January so below is that entry. Crazy to think that at that time, Sage was just a little newborn baby, 2 months old.



Smile

Because I like to torture myself as much as possible, every song I listen to turns into an adoption song. I heard this one way back and just thought it was perfect. It is by Chris Rice and it is called Smile. He wrote it talking about the day he meets Jesus. Of course I long for that day also. But for now, I have changed the words just a bit for Sage.

How far are you? How close am I?
I know the words are true but I don't feel them inside.
Still I believe, you'll never leave
So where are you now?

Your all i want, you are all I know
Your breath is breathing in my soul
Still I am grasping, aching asking
Where are you now?

I just want to be with you
Just want this waiting to be over
I just want to be with you
and it helps to know that day is getting closer

Every minute takes an hour
Every inch feels like a mile
Till I won't have to imagine
And I finally get to see you Smile

My jouney's here, but my heart is there
So i dream and wait and keep the faith while your prepared
For our destiny, till you come home to me
Oh please make it soon

I just want to be with you
I just want this waiting to be over
I just want to be with you
And it helps to know the day is getting closer

Every minute takes an hour
Every inch feels like a mile
Till I wont' have to imagine
And I finally get to see you smile

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And Her Full Name is...

Sage ChenYi Mae Laxton. We had planned to use just her chinese name as her middle name all along. Then I started thinking about how our other 3 children all have a family middle name of some sort. I do not want her to feel left out! So we kept the ChenYi. From our translation, her name was chosen because of this. "Chen represents the Chen Zhou City, where she was found. Yi Qiao carries our sincere hope that she will be blessed and have a much better life. We wished her to be encountered with great people who would help her gain her happiness and auspcious." I felt very strongly that she should have Chen. That is where she began her little life, and that will always be a special place to us. We thought the Yi flowed better. We will say it ChenYi, all together. Like Jenny w/ a C. Mae is after my grandmother on my moms side. It was her middle name. She passed away at only 66 years of age, and I only wish she could have been here to see our sweet babies! We also liked Mae because in China, little sisters are called Mei Mei, so it just fit to end her name as that! And it rhymes w/ all us girls in the house. Shannon Faye, Makenna Kaylee, & Malaine Shaye. Now she can never say I did not include her into the family chain of names!!

Shopping Fun

A gift from my friend Brenda in TN who is going to get Ellie in 2 Weeks! This frame has been waiting for this picture since mothers day!
We girls baby shopped today. Sage must have our colors!
And of course the girls insisted on this one! Isn't that cute?

I have a closet FULL of clothes that I have bought this past year, that will fit Sage sometime in the next YEAR! They are so big! What a shame, now we have to do more shopping. hehehe! I am figuring she will wear 3-6 or 6-9, maybe.
Yesterday I was a crab. I was emotionally drained. The past year, bam. I felt as if I had given birth, w/ out the physical hurt. But today I am good. Mark put up her crib tonight in our room. What a sweet sight! I am filling it w/ all things going to china.
We already have all our translated information on our daughter(where she was found, her daily schedule etc.) and we have settled on her full name. I will post those tomorrow! Along w/ some great pictures of the gifts we got at our Referral Celebration.

More Referral Day

The first picture is the one that was on the front of our referral packet, and the first picture I saw of our sweet daughters face. I love it! the second they took at the agency and it is on their website! Notice my shirt! I am a Lucky Mommy!
We went out to dinner w/ about 50 of our family and friends. We are still in shock! WE HAVE A BABY GIRL!!! God is so good!
The drive to the agency was LONG! We had to go through the city and pick Sawyer up from school. Traffic slowed us down and so we were running late. Who is late for referral?? We went in and the whole china team was there waiting for us. They said ITS A GIRL! and showed us the packet. I took one look at that face, and I knew. This was my baby. The one I have prayed for, cried for, longed for and waited for, for over a year now. She is so young, which we have prayed for on our knees. We did not want to miss ANY of her life, and she is about as young as they would possibly adopt out from China.
Some neat things to us that confirm she is OURS! For my 30th birthday, well over a year ago, Mark bought me a mothers ring. It had stones in it that we removed to add in Makenna and Malaine's birthstone. In the last place which was for Sage it had a November birthstone. They told me at the jewler that they could replace that once we knew when our baby had been born. so for over a year, i have worn around Sage's birthstone!! And the other neat thing to me is that her birthday is November 20th. Our LID to china was 6/20. So every month on that day, I prayed extra hard, and really had a burden for our baby. Well, she was born on November 20th! So the number that has been in my head now for over a year, is her birthdate!
We hope to travel to China in about 7 weeks. So she will be just about 9 months old. And according to the chinese growth chart, she is TINY!! Barely in the 10th %! But from these pictures, she looks very well fed and healthy! Please continue to pray for Sage. That she is being loved on, and WELL cared for till we can bring her home.

ITS A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, The LORD has done great things for them........Psalm 126:2

With Joyful hearts and on our knees with Thanks to GOD for the GREAT things he has done, we introduce our baby girl..

Chen Yi Qiao (chen is her last name & where she is, Yi means also/again Qiao tall/high
I say because the Lord on HIGH has blessed us AGAIN w/ a baby girl!!

To be Sage (chinese part we are still deciding) Laxton

Born November 20th 2005 only 7 months old!!!

Waiting in Chenzhou Childrens Welfare Institue in Hunan

She weighed 12 pounds on April 14th. (with clothes on)

Says she is restless & active and a moderate sleeper!! Has a ready smile, fond of playing with toys and can roll over!

We THANK GOD for this precious and beautiful GIFT!!

THE CALL!

2nd time to attempt to post this. About 10:30 we got the call from our social worker that referrals were in office!! She had not looked at ours since we had told her we did not want ANY information over the phone. She told us to come in at 2pm. SO we are leaving to finally see the face of our sweet baby!

We are celebrating tonight at The Chinese Buffet in South County, Kmart plaza. (by bellacino's) I made a large reservation, so ANYONE is welcome to stop by and celebrate w/ us!

Praise the LORD!!!

The Call

We just got "the call" from our social worker! Our referral is in office!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She had not even looked at the packet, because we requested no information over the phone. She said to come in at 2pm. So we are almost regrettting that decision. 3 hours to wait but then we will FINALLY see our baby!

Want to celebrate with us tonight? We are meeting at the Chinese Buffet in South County in the Kmart Plaza. We would LOVE to see you there and show off our baby. 6pm till whenever. I made a HUGE reservation.

Praise The Lord!!

No News Yet...

Our agency should just be opening up now. I am not sure when the packages are normally delivered. Please continue to pray for safe delivery, because you just never know!
Last night I dreamed we got a referral for a 14 month old baby from Africa. She was cute! But not really what we expected! (did i tell you our friends just finished an adoption from africa?) A few weeks ago I dreamed I got a blond haired blue eyed boy from china. 18 months old. Hmmm.. Way back when I dreamed it was a girl, and she was born on October 30th. then another time I just remember dreaming we got a referral for a girl and she was very young. SO... Today, all those questions will be answered. And if i get a blond hair, blue eyed african chinese baby, then WOW! Will update anytime we hear ANYTHING!!

Monday is the Day!!!

Our Agency spoke with their China office tonight and it looks like referrals will be here on Monday. I am pretty sure this might be the longest weekend of our life! But after waiting for 367 days from our LID, 391 days from the time our paperwork went to China and well over 500 days since we first started the adoption process, what is another 4 days?? Eternity, to tell the truth!

It has been a day full of emotions for me. Huge relief first of all. Knowing we finally made it. No more waiting. Well besides the next 4 days and then the 7 weeks we will wait to travel! Tears of joy have filled me all day. God is so Good! I prayed for this child, and He promised He would deliver. To know we are SO close to seeing that little face that God placed on our hearts so very, very long ago.

We began the process of adoption over 500 days ago. But God began the process in my heart, long before that. Even as a child, I believe He pressed it deep on my heart. You may have heard me talk about the stories of playing "orphange" w/ my barbie dolls as a little girl, or the mission trips I went on and the children I wanted to bring home with me after seeing their living condtions. I know that God had it planned that this baby would complete our family.

Who is this baby? I love her (or him!) w/ every ounce of my soul. This child who I have never laid eyes upon, or held, who I know nothing about. This is our 4th child, yet my feelings are no different. Some question if it is possible to love a child that is not "your own". But she is my own! She was mine before I knew she would be mine. She will be no different to me than our other 3 children. She is the miracle of God's faithfulness and His love. She is a gift and we will never forget the days we waited for her, cried for her, prayed for her.

Soon so very soon we will lay our eyes upon our gift. No more watiting, no more questions. Girl, Boy? Where is she from? (yes, I know CHINA, but where in china? )
When was she born? (i dreamed october 30th & I have a novemeber birthstone left in my mothers ring waiting for her spot to be filled??) Does she have hair? (if they go by Marks pictures, i guess NO!!) What is her name? Where was she found?

So stay tuned! Our time is here. We will get the call and go over to the office to pick up our paperwork. We do not want to know anything over the phone. NOTHING!! I have waited this long, i want it ALL in person. My guess is it will be later monday before we get to post anything.

Thanks for all the prayers and support. Keep praying, the plane has not landed yet!

Oh and one last thing... how do you like the new song? This has been our song through this long wait! Just want to be w/ you, just want this waiting to be over, AND IT ALMOST IS!!!

OUR BABY IS ON THE WAY!!!!

While I slept, peacefully I might add... The CCAA Website Updated!!! Referrals are through June 28th!!! I don't know if we will see our baby tomorrow, or have to wait till Monday, but SOON!!!
PRAISE THE LORD!!!

No News Yet...

Many rumors yesterday that the CCAA site would change last night. That is the chinese center of adoption affairs. They show on their site when referrals are sent and through what date. We planned to stay up all night, but per our agency, last night would not be the night. So we slept. And peacefully might I add! I am SO thankful for all the prayers I know my family & friends are sending up for us. The Lord is covering me in peace & I feel it! Today marks our 1 year anniversary of being logged in with China. Who would have thought we would still be here waiting. But we are close, oh so close!!