Sunday, July 08, 2012

Praying to be Ruined....

And we are off!!

So much planning and money and planning and praying and worrying and then the trip is here!

I am switching over to my Chenzhou blog, you can get to that by going to www.teamchenzhou.blogspot.com.

Just want to give a huge shout out to say THANK YOU to all of those who have helped us with this journey. From helping us get to China financially, to helping us take things to the kids and nannies in China to praying for us to helping us with my kids while I am gone.

And especially want to thank my husband. Not many husbands would willingly and HAPPILY send their wives to China TWO years in a row for TWO weeks! I offered to set up a schedule for the kids while I am gone and he refused saying he would handle all of it. FOUR kids! I know that I am blessed to be married to him.

Many have asked WHY do we go? Why would we spend thousands of dollars to fly 15 hours on a plane to be uncomfortable, to stay in a country where everything is hard?

I came across a blog I wrote soon after we returned last year and think it sums it up. I am re-posting it below. I pray that I will once again be ruined. 


Ruined


I found it kind of interesting as I went back through my blog and read my list of WHY you should not go on mission.   I had copied it, so can’t take it for my original thoughts. But it is SO true.  I laughed then when reading it, and thankfully I can laugh now. 

#2.  You might get ROBBED. 

That reason MIGHT have honestly scared some people off.   In fact, I remember making comments before I went about how safe I always felt in China.  And then of courseI.WAS.ROBBED.  Now, I could have let this RUIN the trip for me.  And it could have been MUCH worse. I did not lose my passport and I did not lose the orphanage donation.  Just my own $500.  Which IS a big deal, we worked hard for that $500!  But we will be ok, I was fine.  If I was going to lose that much money of course I would have rather had it go to orphans, but who knows, MAYBE the person who stole it really needed money worse than I did.  In fact, I would probably dare to say I am CERTAIN they needed money more than I did. So, I refuse to let it ruin me of anything. 

BUT, I AM ruined from my trip. 

As I have done laundry for my children, I have so much guilt.  SHOVING the extreme amount of clothes in their closets that they have, reminds me of the babies who wore the same things, day after day.  No matter the condition.

As I hear my kids complain about what I am cooking, I am reminded of the mush the children ate for EVERY.SINGLE.MEAL.

As my children fight with each other over the stupid petty things, I am reminded of those kids who might NEVER have a sibling, much less a mom to control the argument.

As my children whine about being bored in a house full of entertainment to their hearts desire, much less a backyard of play, I want to scream about babies who have seen a total of 2 rooms in their entire lifetime.

And sometimes I do.

As I lie down in my soft comfortable bed and TRY to sleep, I hear their cries.

When I do sleep, I dream of them.

Ruined. 

Filled with guilt that WE have SOOO much. 

What does giving 2 weeks of my life matter when some of them live an ENTIRE lifetime in that orphanage?

I am pretty sure I have become impossible to live with. 

From my families standpoint and from my own.

I.AM.RUINED.

So does that mean it was WRONG to go? 

Maybe for some that would make sense.  It is EASIER to live in our own comfortable worlds.

It is easy to pretend that we can’t make a difference.

That we can leave it to others to change the world.

That 2 weeks of our lives is not REALLY going to matter for a child.

But the thing is… What if we were ALL ruined?

What if, EACH.OF.US. did SOMETHING for an orphan.

What if we ALL committed to going on mission?  Just think how many days we could spend of a year in that orphanage?

What if you donate money for a bumbo seat?  (among MANY things)

OR help someone go on mission? (cause believe me, we will take money to help us go more!)

What if you SPONSOR A CHILD?

OR WHAT IF YOU ADOPT?  It IS possible!

There are kids that wait that would LOVE to call you mommy or daddy.

Believe me, I have met them.

OR what if you help someone adopt?  (Because I am willing to do that too if we had more money!!)

I traveled with a team of 13. And together we all feel ruined.

I hoped that YOU will search your heart and be in prayer over if the Lord wants to ruin YOU too.  For Him.  For His children.

You are not too old.

You are not too poor.

You are not too busy. 

Well maybe you are, and if that is the case, then you have a problem.

We can all do SOMETHING.  We can be their voice. We CAN change their world. 

And maybe in the process, change yours too. 

2 comments:

From This Moment said...

I am praying to be ruined....the Lord is calling me to adopt again, but I, in my human brokenness don't know how it is financially possible. (and the hubby would need some convincing too). Praying in NC!

Ali said...

Praying for you guys. Thankful you are there serving these precious kids.