Wednesday, December 01, 2010

To a Mother I will never know

 To the mother who gave birth to my daughter,

Can't help but wonder about you this week.  Some will say we make birth mothers  a fantasy that is not really true.  I don't care about any of that.  Because I simply know you made a choice to save my daughter.   The reasons do not really matter to me.  

 Of course I wonder, as I am sure she someday will too. I wish I could meet you and tell you how amazing she is! I wish I could let you hear her laugh, just once.  It comes from deep inside of her and it can fill up a whole room.  I wish you could watch her think.  She concentrates so hard and you can see her little mind turning things over.  I wish you could watch her do her cartwheels.  She is becoming quite the gymnast and she flips around a room more than she walks! I bet you would have been as proud as me to see her at her first competition holding her 1st place trophy!
  I wish you could see her with her siblings or her family or our friends.  She is loved and adored by so many people.  I wish you could see how smart she is.  Scary smart! This year she has mastered riding a bike with out training wheels, she can now tie her own shoes, she can spell anything that she can sound out and is reading words.  I wish you could see her eat.  She LOVES pasta! And you would be proud, she can eat chinese food complete with chopsticks!  I wish you could feel her hugs and kisses.  They melt me. 
I can't help but wonder, is she tiny because you are?  Are you as laid back and whimsical as she is? Is your voice deep and scratchy like hers?  
And I can't help but wonder if you are thinking of us this week, as much as I am thinking of you.  With out you, we would not have our Sage and I can't even imagine a life like that.  You gave her life! You gave her a chance to hear about Jesus, and say prayers and be surrounded by love. 
It is true.  I do not know your story, and I probably never ever will.  It is so hard for me to comprehend how you walked away from her 5 years ago.  But I know you wrapped her up so she was warm.  I know you left her in a place where she would be found.  I know that we have been blessed beyond words to have her. 

I will forever be thankful and I promise that I will do my best to make sure she understands these things about you.  My continued prayer is that someday we will meet, most likely not this side of life.  I pray  that we can stand before our Father who had this marvelous plan for our lives, together, and you can finally see the gift you gave us.

You are not forgotten, never. 

Love, a very thankful mommy

**Flowers are in honor of each year since she left your arms.


Anonymous said...

That's beautiful shannon!

Aunt Debbie

Kelly said...

Truly spoken from your heart...what a treasure for Sage for years to come...She is very blessed to have been brought into your family...