Friday, February 13, 2009

My Husband My Hero

Today is my husbands birthday. If you remember, when we got our new washer & dryer last week, he decided that was his birthday gift along with a request for a date night. Since I feel bad not giving a "gift" I decided I would dedicate a blog to him. I am good at bragging on my children, but don't often share about how amazing Mark is. If you know him, you already know this. And if you only know me, you probably suspect he is pretty awesome to put up with me! ;-)

When we started dating, I was just 17 years old, he was 21. We have been together a long time and done alot of growing up along the way. Since the day I have met him, he has spoiled me, alot. I often stop and wonder how in the world I have been so blessed to have him as mine.

I am not a morning person, at all. I enjoy staying up late and sleeping in late. Which is obviously not a great schedule as a mom. My sweet husband is the one to get up EVERY morning first. He gets ALL the kids breakfast. I realize we are lucky that he works from home, so is able to do this, though I have to say even when he worked he tried to go in later simply to be helpful to me. Saturdays, same thing and he never makes me feel guilty for being "lazy". He typically loads up the kids and drives to Mc Donalds for breakfast so that when I get up there is a supersize diet coke waiting for me! ;-)

Mark is such a hands on dad. He does just as much with them as I do, if not more. He was never the type of dad that expected me to automatically change the diapers, take them potty, cut up their food etc.. When I nursed babies, he got up and changed their diapers and brought them to me. Mavery does not sleep, he is the first one to jump up when she cries. As soon as he gets off of work at night, he is up helping me get supper on the table, or entertaining toddlers. As soon as dinner is over, he is sitting down with a kid doing homework. When it comes to bedtime, he is right there with me(typically ahead of me), getting them in bed. He is always sure to pray with each of the kids and he is so good at just spending time talking to them and getting to know them. Not to mention that he plays with them. REALLY plays. He is always wrestling or teasing or playing board games or ball or initiating races, or something. Yep, he is also the one initiating our children swinging from our canopy bed, doing crazy tricks, and why I think they are so hyper, but I can't complain.

He has made MANY sacrifices. For example, he had this "plan". 2 kids, save a bunch of $, retire early. Then after child #3, I suggested adoption. He looked back at his plan, and remembered kid 3 was not even in it, so more than that for sure did not make the list. But, he stopped his plan, and he spent so much time searching Gods plan. Twice. HUGE decisions for him. I realize that if he was not the dad he is, it would have been easier to say yes at first. But he does SO much with these kids. He realized how much more time and work more would mean. Yet, he listened. Alot of men won't. It was not easy for him. But I have no doubt that He searched Gods heart for the answer.

Mark loves to play sports. When we were first married, and kidless, he spent many evenings playing softball, basketball, hockey etc.. In the last few years, it has become less and less that he is able to play. It is not that he does not want to, because he really does. It is that his kids are first and we are SO crazy, he just does not feel right. Partly because there is simply not enough hours in our days. Partly I know that he is doing it because I know he feels bad leaving me, knowing I have had to deal with kids all day. It is one of the being totally spoiled. I know that he loves me more than his sports!

A few years back, he was asked to take on a role at our church. He was really excited about it and felt very honored to have been asked. He spent time in "training". And the more he got into it, he began to feel very pulled. I was never sure from the beginning of the role, so was probably not being the most supportive. He struggled with the decision, but finally decided he could not fulfill the roll and keep our family his first priority. Not at the stage of life we are in right now. I know it was hard for him to tell them no, however, we know that it was the right decision with all the things we are going through with Mavery. I hope that someday he can step into the role, but I am so thankful that he was willing to really think it through.

Mark is just always looking for ways to make life easier for me. If it is serving cereal for dinner in paper bowls, or letting the house turn into a disaster, he is ok with it. He is always running the kids here or there. Oh and did I mention he always makes sure my van has gas(even drives out at night to get me gas if I have to go somewhere), takes care of all bills AND the checkbook, and is always willing to run out and get milk or anything else? He is one of the few husbands I know that ENCOURAGES me to go on girls nights out or weekends away! He looks at it as a fun time to spend with the kids I think. If I am leaving for an evening, he will tell me not to worry about getting them dinner and to have fun. And he means it! I wish I could be that gracious to him when he leaves me.

Last night Mark asked me "IF we were to adopt again ...." He will killing me for admitting that he said this, and it does not mean I am pulling up lists of kids ready to go back. What it simply meant to me is this. My husbands heart is to serve God. Despite what we have gone through in just these few weeks, this question can still come from his heart. Does this mean I think he WANTS to adopt again? I have no idea, because to be honest, I about fell out of my chair to hear those words come from his mouth at this point. And I can promise if YOU ask him, he will say NO. However, I believe that IF God calls again, Mark will listen. I believe that with my whole heart.

In an earlier post I talked about Mark having NF2. He has been through brain surgery, and will most likely face another, if not more than 1, and may very possibly lose all his hearing. He already has partial hearing loss on one side. He struggles with a lazy eye that can cause him horrible headaches and we have been on the road to trying to figure out if this needs surgery. He has been through knee surgery and still has some pain in his knees at times. He is on medication for high blood pressure. All this and he went bald right after we got married. This has all been going on for a long time, since he was "younger". Yet, he never complains. Never does the poor me thing. Though I myself am so good at having pity parties for ME. Some people would get down with all he has to deal with, but I have never ever heard him ask why. Not even about being bald! hehe! I personally think he looks better with out hair and find the bald look sexy myself, so that was a joke! ;-)

There is no doubt, he is a better husband and father than I am wife and mother. But being his wife I never feel that way because he always makes me feel like I am the best in the world.

So Mark, Happy, Happy Birthday. I love you and I am sorry I don't do mushy gushy blog posts about you the way I do the kids more often. Thank you for being you, and for putting up with me. And by the way, just in case you have forgotten, the bracelet is spelled P A N D O R A. ;-)


DawnS said...

Happy Birthday to your amazing husband! Hmmm... is he available to train other husbands... ha ha!!! Just kidding - really -(unless he is available and the well...)

Enjoy your date - you both deserve it!!


Mom to my China Posse said...

Happy Birthday Mark! Hope you have a great day. You and Shannon are a amazing couple.

Anonymous said...

Wow Honey! You make me sound pretty good! Thanks. I LOVE YOU.

Anonymous said...

I do know your husband very well and I can verify that all you said about him is true - he is an amazing Husband and Dad - just as you are a Wife and Mom. This was a great dedication to him on his birthday Shannon - I'm sure he appreciated it very much!

Party of Seven said...

Wow, what a great post and a great husband! You are a very lucky girl! Happy Birthday to you wonderful Hubby! I am also curious about the hubby training thing. ha

Chisum Family said...

Hey Mark and Shannon! Happy Birthday and many blessings to you, Mark. I feel so priveleged to have seen Mark's tender heart while in China with you guys and know God has so many treasures stored up for him. May you both feel the Father's hugs today and as you celebrate Valentines!


Amy in Arizona said...

Does Mark host husband workshops? I would like to sign mine up!!

Esther said...

^_^ He sure is an amazing man and you are a wonderful woman.
You are so blessed!!!!

Can I "order" a man just like him?
Oh wait, "my" man is pretty awesome too!

Finally a Family of Four said...

Shannon-you crack me up!!! Seriuosly, that was a sweet post.
Happy Birthday, Mark