GOTCHA!

**Warning, if you are an adoptive parent easily offended, don’t read on! ;-)

I read an article recently on some site that was supposed to help you prepare for adoption/travel/your new child, etc.. And I came across this article under a section called whats hot, titled, “Getting rid of gotcha”. Interesting. For those of you who don’t know, Gotcha Day in adoption world, typically refers to the day you meet your child. And so I read the article and once again have found more “rules” in adoption world I just had no idea about! Honestly as I read it thought it was a joke. No, sadly it was true. Apparently saying Gotcha Day is offensive. Maybe you all know this, I must be slow to catch on to these things. Some parents refuse to call it Gotcha day, so they refer to it as

Metcha Day
Forever Family Day
Adoption Day
Family Day
“child's name” day
Siblings Day
And the list goes on.

The article said “ when you catch a mosquito, you say Gotcha. How awful that we use the same term when speaking of our children.” Are you kidding me?

Here is what I have learned. Some people have WAY more time on their hands to dissect the silliest things! Are we seriously that worried about the term we use for that day? Wow! I honestly just had to laugh! Who really cares WHAT we call it? Does it really require writing a magazine article to warn new parents NOT to say gotcha?

August 21st, 2006, God handed me the most amazing gift. I GOT my Sage! WE became a forever family. My life was changed in only ways that God could have ordained. It is among the most memorable day of my life. YOU can refer to it as whatever YOU want, and I will happily refer to it as I want. It is a day I will celebrate till the day I die, and I could care less if it is labeled “Sage’s gotcha, metcha, forever family, placed in her parents arms, planned from the beginning of time, she is a Laxton, Day!”

I guess the thing to me that I just don't get is this. How can we even care what it is called? How can some people look at that day and really worry about the terminology that was used for it. I look at August 21st 2006 and the name is NOT what pops into my head. My daughters face, the way she felt when I finally held her in my arms, the smells, the look in her eyes, THOSE are the things I think about from that day. I can still FEEL the way I felt on that day, the way she felt in my arms. I can promise you, it did not feel as if I was swatting a mosquito! ;-)

So before anyone leaves me a comment telling me I am going to ruin my childrens lives because I don't worry about these things, don't bother. If you want to get rid of gotcha, you go ahead! I have MUCH more important things to worry about like, how can I will an I171 into my mailbox, or how can we possibly get to China near the Olympics or, how can we change the world so every orphan has a GOTCHA day which actually means they all have families! Those are my worries.

Happy Gotcha Day Sage- 3 years!

So different this year. Sage is starting to "get it" We asked "What is your Gotcha Day?" And Sage, in her oh so sweet Sagey voice said "My gotcha day is the day I got my family, my WHOLE family".

Three years have flown by in the blink of an eye. Yet I can remember every detail of that day in China, the first day I held my Sage. I am as emotional today praying over her as I was that day when I held her. We waited so long, it felt like forever. We thought it would never happen. We questioned, we cried, we wondered. And then we held her. It finally all made perfect sense. God knew all those months of waiting that our daughter was not ready for us. He wrote her story, OUR story, long before that day in China. I have not forgotten the pain of waiting, but I would do it again and again for this gift! She was so much more than we could have ever dreamed or imagined. I am so thankful for every spicy moment I have with her! Today we celebrate God growing our family in a land far away. We celebrate that Sage opened the door to bring Mavery home. We celebrate FIVE children that He has blessed us with in different ways. We feel blessed.
If you would like to peek back at the past 2 gotcha days click here. http://herewegrowagain.blogspot.com/search?q=gotcha

Mavery Gotcha Day 2 years October 13th

Last year I did not pull out Maverys gotcha outfit. We were still in attachment therapy and I was not sure it would be a smart thing. This year I did. Sometimes I wonder what she is thinking in that little head of hers. As I pulled it out and showed her, she asked what the smell was. I told her, that is what China smells like. And you could tell she was really trying to process that. I wonder when she smelled it, does she remember? Because I do. It is amazing to me how a scent can take you back there so quickly. I keep their gotcha day clothes in sealed baggies, and it still lingers on them. So many memories wrapped up in those bags. 2 years together. Happy Gotcha Day Mavery Raye!

Gotcha Day Sage FOUR years!

Gotcha Day 2010

She looked so big wearing her gotcha day outfit this year, a little girl instead of my baby. Sniff..

Gotcha Day, Anniversary year 1, 2 & 3!

Meeting Mavery

It is so easy to get wrapped up in the "process" of adoption. I am a list maker, and at this point, if it is not on my list, it does not enter my mind. I am thankful that what is on my list manages to enter my mind to be honest! It is scaring me how confused Iam right now. Last night I was whining to Mark telling him, " I walked across the room for a reason, but I have no idea why". And he said" Welcome to my world, that is how men have always been!" hehe!



So, it is easy to just work and check off my list and keep moving along. But in those quiet moments at night, my thoughts are so full of Mavery. She has been heavy on my heart, just trying to imagine what it is going to be like for her. I try to envision Gotcha day, what that moment will be like. With Sage, we expected crying, and lots of tears. What we got was this calm little angel who just looked at us as if to say" What took you so long?" Yeah, Sage sure had us fooled in China, ask our entire travel group, she was the calm baby. ha! So her gotcha was nothing as I imagined. She was perfect, it was perfect. They placed her in my arms, and I felt such peace.



That is not what I expect this time. Sage was 9 months old. Mavery is almost 3 years old. I hurt for her and all she is about to go through. While we know it is all for the best, she sure is not going to think that. Please continue to pray for her. Our prayer all along has been that God our Father would plant us in her little heart, that she would see us and know us. So far what she knows of us is that white people come to the orphanage and kids disappear. They tell her to say hi to mama, and a white person is holding a big black box. So is a mama a big black box that flashes at her? Or is a mama a bear that when she presses its paw it speaks some weird language and says I am your mama?

It will be ok, we know it will be ok. This was what God planned all along and He will help us to comfort Mavery. And our gotcha moment is going to be just as magical as it was with Sage no matter what. Because even if she screams, I will finally see her and hear her and be able to touch my daughter.

For the record, I am seriously praying that if she has to NOT like someone (because we know that often the kids will choose one parent) that it is ME she chooses to like! ;0) No worries, Mark knows this is what I am praying for! He could handle the rejection much better than me! hehe!

Birthday Reflections

Make sure to scroll down and check out the slide show. I am not sure how to make it start from the beginning, but I almost had it timed to go along w/ the song, so turn up your volume.

Today Sage ChenYi Mae Laxton is 1. ONE! How is that possible? It is going to fast, I want to go back and just hold on to these 3 months a little longer and a little tighter. I did not get enough of her first year. What was it like just one year ago when she was born? It has been hard on me. I know that the 9 months Sage was not with me, was all part of God's plan. But my heart still hurts for all that I have missed. So many thoughts of Sage's birthmother this week, which I will save for another day to share. It is hard enough to watch your baby turn one. So I am trying not to dwell on all the questions and just lift her up in Celebration. She is one! We have held her for 3 months now! Thank you GOD for allowing us to hold her for those 3 months. Exactly one year & 9 months ago we began the process called adoption. Exactly one year and 9 months ago Sage was most likely conceived. One year ago, my heart was crying and my prayers were full for a baby we had no idea was being born into the world. 3 months ago, we walked into a room, and were handed this beautiful angel child. She was so tiny, her dark eyes just stared at us, taking us in. Today, she is a different baby than the one we met in China. She has changed so much, and every day we know we are blessed to have her as ours. Some Sage Stuff for one year...

--She weighs 19 pounds now. She is chunky and has rolls!(14 pounds at gotcha)

--She has 5 teeth, 3 top/2 bottom (2 bottom at gotcha)

--Standing, still not taking steps though, continues to cruise

--Crawling "normal" now. And she is FAST!

--Says Mama, Dada, Dog, Bye, Waves Hi and Bye!

--Plays really well on own, is SO curious and loves to explore

--Eats whatever you give her. Still on babyfood and formula.

--Her skin is so soft and clear now, was not in china!

--Has her 2nd ear infection, just went to the dr today.

--Continues to sleep great. In our room. Is attached to pacifier. oops!

--Loves to make us laugh!

--Is impossible to change. She does not like to be still, way to much to explore.

--LOVES bathtime. Goes crazy in the tub, and crys when we take her out. Dunks her face in the water, and just laughs!

--Is very attached to her bear. I will have to post about Bear sometime, to cute!

Every day with her is just a gift. It is so amazing to watch her learn new things each day. In China, she could not sit, she could not really hold onto toys. To watch her learn and change so much, I just sit in awe. She looks so much older to me, her hair is already longer. And even longer continues to stand straight up! I will miss that so much when it stops doing that! I think back a year ago and where I was. So impatient, and trying to "bargain" my way to China. Please Lord, if we can just go NOW... I am so thankful that we have such a loving Father who loves us in spite of us! He knew Sage was ours, and He loved me through the 9 months it took to reveal her to us. Sage is our daughter. No other baby in China could have been ours, I have no doubt about that. So today I celebrate her birth and the 3 months I have held her. She is mine & I Thank God for her. Our gift.

2012 in Review

 Makenna graduated 8th Grade, we survived homeschool! 

Sawyer turned 12, and was excited that 6th graders are now in the youth group. He is quickly becoming a tween ready to be a teenager. 

 We started back to homeschool with just Sawyer and Malaine. 

 We celebrated Gotcha day with Sage, SIX years with our spicy girl! 

Sawyer and Mark did his Passport to Purity weekend. (Still think this is the best ever!)

Welcomed friends home from China with their beautiful BOY! 

Watched Makenna in her very first school parade with the colorguard team! 

Makenna attended her first homecoming dance. Had fun getting ready with cousin Courtney and help from Megan. We had a houseful of girls for the night afterwards. Nothing unusual there. 

 Makenna turned 15. The fact that this means she gets her drivers permit soon is not making us feel any younger. 

 We welcomed a sweet visitor with Safe Families. She was just a few weeks old. 

 Malaine turns double digits, TEN years old! 

We had a smurfday party! 

We celebrated Mavery's Gotcha Day. 4 years with our wild woman! 

We participated in Judgement House. 

We had trunk or treat at church and our theme this year was Alice in Wonderland. And yes I realize I have the best husband ever who agrees to dress up with me as Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee. :-) Malaine was Alice, Makenna was the Cheshire Cat, Sawyer the Mad Hatter, Sage was the Queen of hearts and Mavery was the Queens flamingo she plays golf with! 

Some of us did not think Halloween was all that much fun. 

 Mavery turns SEVEN! 

 We celebrated birthdays with family! 

Sage turned SEVEN! 

Enjoyed playing dress up and watching her grow! 

Received sweet love from Chenzhou for Thanksgiving! 

Had fun with cousins FREEZING at the orchards. 

 Lived out some of my pinterest ideas through Christmas decorating. 

And by hosting TWO Favorite Things Parties. A new favorite idea for sure. We had so much fun!

Enjoyed any chance of sleep we could get, which was not much. :-) 

Had friends visit from Charlotte, had such a GREAT visit! We had the chance to visit in May and it was so good to see my Chenzhou baby again! Really love this family. 

Had fun with the youth for a Christmas Party. 

Enjoyed Breakfast with Santa at Eckerts. The big kids really love that I still make them get in the pictures. 

Enjoyed all the kids being in 2 Christmas Concerts at church. 

Said goodbye to baby girl after 2 months of fun. Thankfully we still get to stay in touch with this one and though I cried MANY tears, it has been a good growing experience for all of us. 

Celebrated good news on an MRI that Mavery had done on her heart. All is well for now, hooray! And celebrated Good news on Marks yearly MRI. Hooray! God is good. 

Had a super fun family day at Incredible Pizza Company. After some misunderstanding with a GC, the new owner let us in FREE. A huge blessing for us! Go St Louis IPC! 

Made nativities out of graham crackers with cousins! 

And that sums up almost everything up till Christmas! My kids are giving me a hard time for neglecting the blog and so I wanted to catch up and hope to get back to it more often this year. Maybe I can get Christmas on here before the month is out. Miracles still happen, right?