Sunday, October 05, 2008

Meeting Mavery

It is so easy to get wrapped up in the "process" of adoption. I am a list maker, and at this point, if it is not on my list, it does not enter my mind. I am thankful that what is on my list manages to enter my mind to be honest! It is scaring me how confused Iam right now. Last night I was whining to Mark telling him, " I walked across the room for a reason, but I have no idea why". And he said" Welcome to my world, that is how men have always been!" hehe!

So, it is easy to just work and check off my list and keep moving along. But in those quiet moments at night, my thoughts are so full of Mavery. She has been heavy on my heart, just trying to imagine what it is going to be like for her. I try to envision Gotcha day, what that moment will be like. With Sage, we expected crying, and lots of tears. What we got was this calm little angel who just looked at us as if to say" What took you so long?" Yeah, Sage sure had us fooled in China, ask our entire travel group, she was the calm baby. ha! So her gotcha was nothing as I imagined. She was perfect, it was perfect. They placed her in my arms, and I felt such peace.

That is not what I expect this time. Sage was 9 months old. Mavery is almost 3 years old. I hurt for her and all she is about to go through. While we know it is all for the best, she sure is not going to think that. Please continue to pray for her. Our prayer all along has been that God our Father would plant us in her little heart, that she would see us and know us. So far what she knows of us is that white people come to the orphanage and kids disappear. They tell her to say hi to mama, and a white person is holding a big black box. So is a mama a big black box that flashes at her? Or is a mama a bear that when she presses its paw it speaks some weird language and says I am your mama?

It will be ok, we know it will be ok. This was what God planned all along and He will help us to comfort Mavery. And our gotcha moment is going to be just as magical as it was with Sage no matter what. Because even if she screams, I will finally see her and hear her and be able to touch my daughter.

For the record, I am seriously praying that if she has to NOT like someone (because we know that often the kids will choose one parent) that it is ME she chooses to like! ;0) No worries, Mark knows this is what I am praying for! He could handle the rejection much better than me! hehe!

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