Tuesday, October 07, 2008

My Sage

It is hard to leave the kids, I struggle with all of them of course. But Sage, I am having a really hard time. She is SO little. I struggle with guilt over being gone from her that long. Though the alternative is taking her. And you know the thought of that just breaks me out in a cold sweat. If you have met Sage, you know what I am talking about. 14 hours on a plane, I would rather have my teeth pulled out one by one with no drugs than to put myself OR the other passengers through that. She does not want to go on a plane to China, she has told me that over and over. "I no like plane to China, they go to fast. "Sage likes her bed, she likes her routine. She does not do well when you take away her nap, or even if you try to move her from her house. So while I will miss her horribly, taking her is not an option. We feel we are supposed to devote 100% of our attention on Mavery in China and that just could not happen with Spicy Girl there. So, she stays behind. But it is more than just the leaving her for 2 weeks. It is the, I am bringing home another child. Right now, Sage is the baby, the princess, she runs the show around here. Soon, she is going to have to share her crown. And not only is it a new sister, it is a sister that is her age. I know this is all normal, this is how it was when we added Sage and Malaine was the baby, or when we added Malaine and Sawyer was a baby. Or when we added Sawyer and Makenna was the ONLY princess in our house. I know that every mother goes through this guilt and so you can understand. Just hard.
But on the flip side, Sage is getting a sister! She is getting a twin! I always wanted a twin sister, someone my age. What a blessing for her to have a play mate her age and someone who gets it, who lived the same life she did before they were in our arms. I can't wait to see them in action together, even just that first meeting, when they lay eyes on each other for the first time! I know we are in for alot of adjustments, but we are ready. I think Sage is ready. Maybe ready to "train" her up in the Sageness way of life. Oh my goodness, what if Mavery acts like Sage? I think our life is about to get REALLY fun! ;0)

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