Tuesday, July 12, 2011

A Rose is a Rose is a Rose

Do not watch the petals fall from the rose with sadness, know that, like life, things sometimes must fade, before they can bloom again. 
Author Unknown

"If I could have a rose for every time I thought of you, The world would be empty of them."
Source Unknown
"Love is like a rose. When pressed between two lifetimes, it will last forever."
Source Unknown
A life with love will have some thorns, 
but a life without love will have no roses.
"Even if love is full of thorns, I'd still embrace it for I know that in between
those thorns, there is a rose that's worth all the pain."
Source Unknown
The rose speaks of love silently, 
in a language known only to the heart.
"Have you ever watched a rose as it fades away; the color becomes deeper as the petals dry. That's how my love for you deepens as the days go by."
Source Unknown
What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.
William Shakespeare

" If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I'd be picking roses for a lifetime.”
Swedish Proverb
I'd rather have roses on my table
than diamonds 'round my neck.

Emma Goldman
"The rose speaks of love silently, in a language known only to the heart."
Source Unknown
I know, we were not supposed to have favorites. And I promised myself I was not. So I will blame it on her, maybe I was HER favorite?  We just connected. She just felt RIGHT in my arms. As if she was meant to be there.  She felt good.
I did share her,  a little bit.
In case you did not read my story of Rosebud here, I will share a bit.  From what I understand, her paperwork is not quite ready in China, which means at this point, she is not available for adoption.
If she DOES become available,  she will most likely be a healthy referral as I think her only issue is she was born pre-mature. Of course, hard to know for sure at her age.  So even if we wanted to TRY to adopt her, if she is a healthy referral, she would go to those who have already been waiting for years.

And if she did go out as special needs, well, it would still take God to bring her into our family. It is not as easy as saying, I want that baby! As much as I wish it were that way, selfishly.
And what does Mark say? I think he feels pretty safe in the fact that finding her is such a crazy idea and only a miracle could bring her here. In other words, he does not have much to say.  When I talk about her, he buries his head.  ;-) 

My sweet girl is having a birthday today. Her very first birthday. And though she was not even eating food yet, but still only a bottle, I had a cake delivered.  Because every baby should have a first birthday cake.  I sure hope to get a picture of her sitting with that cake. And I wish I could be with her, helping her blow out a candle and singing silly songs. Spoiling her rotten with tons of fancy clothes and toys and hugs and kisses. 

I am not going to lie. Yep, it is all sappy and all these songs on my playlist might seem corny and just to torture myself, but it is HARD.  These children we all met while in China, they are not just photos, they are flesh and blood and they live in an orphanage. They are in a crib ALL day except @ 4-5 hours TOTAL.  It is easy when it is pictures  and we feel sad, but this baby, she is more than a picture. She is real, I KNOW what she smells like. I know where to tickle her to make her smile. I know that she has long thin fingers that probably need clipped right now. I know that she does NOT care to be left in her crib.  I know that I can make her happy just by paying attention to her. She is not scared of strangers, and she is a wiggly girl. She is tiny, but mighty! 

So this week I ask you to pray for my sweet Rosebud as she turns one. I am reminded that though I am not there, though a mommy is not there, God is. He holds her in the palm of His hand. He chose her birthday and I have no doubt that He has written the story of her life. I pray that I am able to somehow, someway, watch it unfold.


Mom to my China Posse said...

I love your heart my friend. I pray Rosebud has a perfect Birthday!

Sharon Ankerich said...

Bless your precious heart and bless this baby~ happy birthday to sweet Rosebud!!!

Amy said...

I was just trying to figure out why in the world you put "The Rose" on your playlist. Then I read your post and don't know why I was so slow to figure that out. :-) I was obviously not connecting. . . .

Debbie Sauer said...

She is absolutely gorgeous! Blessings

Jodi said...

This is a beautiful post - from the heart!!! We are struggling with a sweetie that we met in Ethiopia, who we found out this week may be unadoptable after his looooong wait. It is soooo hard to love and walk away. I'm with you hon! Praying for you and for Rosebud!
How blessed you are to have communication with her orphanage! Praying you will be able to watch her life unfold - in how ever God leads!