And if She is He??

When we filled out our paperwork for China, we said we would be open to a girl or a boy. One reason we struggled with choosing a country at first was because we knew if we went to China, we were pretty well saying we would get a girl. At first we felt that maybe we needed a boy to "even out" the numbers here. Of course through much prayer we decided that China was where our child was and if we were meant to get a boy, we would fall into the 5% of boys that are referred. Through this wait I have wondered, but feel pretty strongly that our baby is a girl. If we do get a boy, I admit I will be in shock. Although I will be fine w/ it. I just want a baby. We can debate what is better boy or girl and having both I can give an opinion on each. both is best, that is my theory and I am sticking to it! ;) Even Sawyer has come to terms with the fact that Sage is our baby out there, and that he will be forever "girltrapped". Anyways, through all these months we have struggled over a name. To go along w/ Makenna, Sawyer and Malaine it has been tough. Has to be an S name. (yes call me weird but don't you think He might feel left out if he did not have an S or M to go along w/ the rest of the family? ) And we could not go w/ a name like Sam. While I think it is a very cute name, it is also very popular and normal and I like different. I have come up w/ and mark has denied: Szander, Stryker, Shamus, Siegen, Sieger, Simeon, and my list went on. We were leaning towards Sullivan for awhile, but to much monster ink for the kids. And did you know that once you get your referral is not the time to think up a name? From what i understand, you only have a matter of days to turn in your paperwork WITH the babies name on it. Let me tell you, if I get a boy referral, the shock is going to be enough that we DO NOT want me to be trying to find a name at that point. Who knows what I might name the kid. So IF we get a boy, his name will be Stryder. I like it. I don't care if no one else does. I feel MUCH peace over it and that is that.
Mark, Shannon, Makenna, Sawyer, Malaine & Stryder OR
Mark, Shannon, Makenna, Sawyer, Malaine & Sage

So what is your guess, which will it be?

My Husband the Hero!

Mark fixed the website! He remembered that he had backed up all files and so was able to go and retrieve them. PRAISE THE LORD!! I feel much better. Believe me, we are making hard copies from now on! So now if you go to our website at www.laxtonkids.com You can access the blog right there. Still working on some of the pictures and such, but it will be easier in china to have it all together. Now if Mark could just figure out a way to get us our referral....

Pity Party

It has not been a fun week around here. I started off with strep throat. No one else in my house had it, and I don't think I have had it since I was a child. But it wiped me out. Very miserable, still not fully over it. Then referral rumors came out, and did not go nearly as far into the month as I had hoped and prayed for. At the rate they are coming, I am sure it could be June before we get a referral. I am just losing patience. Then to top it all off.. Mark was trying to connect our blog into our website so you could read them together. Well, somehow while doing it, my website journal was lost. All 10 months of it that I have written. We had already lost it once before, and you would think I would learn my lesson after that and hardcopy. But i did not. Only this time instead of a few months, it was closer to a year of entries. I am sick. I had planned that everything I write on these blogs would be my journals for Sage. I kept written journals during my other 3 pregnancies for the other kids. Now everything I had worked on for her is gone. Mark feels horrible of course. Personally i am cursing the website company for the way they have their things set up. I will post their name to you as soon as I make sure they can't do a miracle and find my journal. If they can't help, (which mark says there is no way it is gone forever) I will be telling you who NOT to go through if you want a personal website. To top it all off i have horrible PMS. I need a vacation. Better yet, I need my baby. Sigh...

The Good and Bad of Waiting...

Top 10 Reasons Why I am losing my mind through this wait for Sage....

1. Because when we started this process last February, and had our paperwork done by May, we figured we would have our baby in January. This was NOT OUR plan.
   
2. I am not a patient person. I don't wait, I do. Most of the time, I don't like to procrastinate. I plan, I get done. Sigh...
3. It is the neverending pregnancy. I could have been pregnant twice by now.
   
4. You just never know. Will they send out a full month of referrals, will they cut off?
5. I missed her first Thanksgiving, her first Christmas, her first New Years, her first Valentines Day, her first Easter. I really want her first Birthday!
   
6. Because I am a mother and she is MY daughter. This is not natural. I should be the one holding her and taking care of her at this stage of her life.
   
7. Because we have no idea if she is being cared for properly. Is she getting her diaper changed? Is she crying and no one answers? Is she happy?
   
8. I also missed her first smile. Is she sitting up, is she young, or older? Does she have alot of hair?
   
9. My arms ache to hold her.
   
10. I love her so much already it takes my breath away.
    

Top 10 Reasons Why I am ok with waiting till summer to travel...(I have to try to keep myself sane by convincing myself it is ok)

1. There will be no school schedule to come home to. We can relax, sleep in, and be lazy for a few months while we adjust.
   
2. We can pack lighter. No coats to haul around, no bulky sweaters.
   
3. I can wear flip flops if I want.
   
4. It gives me more time to lose those 10 pounds i want to get rid of.
   
5. i can't stand being frozen, and climbing the great wall in snow would not have been fun.
6. Capris are my favorite type of clothing.
   
7. Summer schedules will mean more help w/ babysitting for our kids while they stay behind.
   
8. Hopefully Mark will be out of our closet and moved into the office in the basement, which will be very helpful in setting up our room as half nursery.
   
9. Because God had a plan, long before I did, and He has grown me in alot of ways through this LONG wait.
   
10. because I trust that God is holding her, until I get there.
    

Bad Parenting 101

I should be embarrased to even admit this one. Today Malaine and I attended a new playgroup along with some of her cousins. She had a great time and I am happy to have found it. They do a bible story, songs, parachute time, snacks, along with playtime. Afterwards, cousins Amy and Jaylyn joined us at home for lunch. When i walked in I said, "I can' forget to go pick up Sawyer from preschool in 45 minutes." Well, guess what? I forgot. And not just by a few minutes, but by a FULL HOUR!! Thankfully his school also has a daycare, so they just took him in there. And Sawyer did not seem fazed by it. But I felt horrible. Bad, bad mom. I guess it could have been worse. Maybe.

Leave it to a Teacher!

We received this prayer and quilt square from our almost in a round about way cousin who was Makenna's Kindergarten teacher and will be Sawyer's teacher next year. I just thought it was SO adorable wanted to share it w/ you. Some people took my hint a few weeks ago!! I have to say also that Amber did not know we were collecting squares. So I gave her the letter on Friday at our Chinese New Year Party and by Sunday at our superbowl party, she had it here! Isn't that amazing! And yes, we are STILL collecting! Let me just say this, we will be collecting until YOU get your quilt square to me!

Chinese New Year at our House

The kids Made Hats
Our "chinese" Princess
The Grandmas feeding the girls treats from their red envelopes.
Beautiful Dalayna
Malaine celebrating the "Year of the Dog"

We had a wonderful time at our Party this weekend. Well besides the fact that one kid got sick and my son ran into the edge of a chair and had a HUGE lump on his head, but besides that! We had a full chinese buffet of food. Of course we don't believe in all the superstitions that go along with the Chinese New Year. My aunt, Dalayna's Grandma made each of us a red envelope that included Chinese Trivia, prayer requests, and candy! The prayer requests included prayers for Sage, which of course made me teary, along w/ prayers for her birth parents. And for Dalaynas birth parents. Each of us in our family has a burden for China, and we pray that God would bring salvation to the people there. The kids made lanterns, along w/ some of the adults, hats and had fun popping confetti. We can't wait till next year when Sage will be here to celebrate.

Makennas Prayer Request

Sunday at Church, Makenna was asked to draw a picture of something she is praying for. Isn't this sweet?