Wednesday, March 05, 2008

No Matter What...

Doesn't Mavery look to be saying, "please, come get me?"!!
A family from our agency was in China this week, and they left with out their new son. I do not know why, I have no idea what happened. All I know is that they did not bring him home and he has gone back to his orphanage. He is almost 3. I am not going to judge that family for their choice. That is not my job.

I know this. It has made me that much more in love with my daughter who waits. And it has made me do much soul searching and praying and just crying out to our Father. We have no idea how Mavery is going to react to us. Sage was so easy! She did not cry, she slept, THAT is the kind of grieving I can handle! ;-) But what will it be like this time? What if she hates us? It is possible. What if she hits and bites and screams and kicks and does NOT sleep ever? All of that is possible. What if she shows signs of something being wrong mentally? That is possible to. Of course we expect that she is fine, but in all reality, we do not know for sure. And we realize that the little girl we meet in china will not be the little girl we will have in our home 6 months later. These kids are so shell shocked at first and their true personalities take time to bloom.

No matter what, Mavery is my daughter. God has spoken that to my heart now since I first laid eyes on her in November. No matter what, she is mine. If I get there and she is not what I expected or even what I want! She is mine. Even if she screams and refuses to let me hold her, she is mine. Even if I find out I would be changing her diaper till the day I die, she is mine. NOTHING changes that God has said, this is your daughter. The same as when I gave birth and took those babies home, there was no other option. She is already a part of our family. Not an hour goes by in this house that someone does not mention her. We pray for her at every meal, at bedtime and sometimes just because we need to. We talk about what she is doing at certain times of the day. We all are in love with this little girl that we have not yet met, but we feel her in our hearts. Mavery belongs to this family.

So no matter what, I expect that all my family and friends will remind me of this if things are rough in China! Please continue to pray for Mavery now. Our prayer is that God would plant us in her heart in some small way. Of course we want things to go perfect in China! And maybe they will.

No news to report on the paperwork. If I EVER adopt again remind me to move out of Illinois. They make you jump through so many hoops it is crazy. We thought we were waiting on the I171, but it seems our Home study has not even made it through Illinois still. Pray, keep praying. (You know Mark is going to be sweating when he reads that sentence, if I ever..hehe!) Hey, above all, and NO MATTER WHAT, we listen to Gods heart. No matter what.

12 comments:

Tenos said...
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Mom to my China Posse said...

Shannon, You are one of the greatest advocators for Listening to God's voice above all others so I know you will do fine and that Mavery is going to blossom in your family.

Kathy

Stefanie said...

What a heartbreaking situation for that precious little boy. Maybe God will use it to confirm for many of us our commitment to our waiting child, "no matter what" :)
Blessings!

Anonymous said...

I admire you for realizing that everything might not be as peachy (at first) as we hope. A REALLY great book that I would suggest for adopting a toddler is called "Attaching in Adoption" by Deborah D. Gray. You have probably heard of it, and maybe already read it, but I would definitely suggest reading it again before you go to meet Miss Mavery. Another great book is called The Weaver's Craft by Mary Hopkins-Best. Both are very, very good but I know that you have lots of munchkins to keep you busy, but it's really worth the time investment so that you will be prepared. With God's help, I know that you can handle anything flung your way!

Sherry

tiffany said...

That situation is just heart breaking. :( I can not imagine what happened since all was apparently fine for a week. Anyhow. You are so right that all transitions are different but its SO worth it to hang in there NO MATTER WHAT. Our first slept like your little one. Shut down. Our second cried and cried and hollered so loud that our whole travel group seemed to know her cry. Our son (the oldest at gotcha at almost 3 years old) was the easiest. I adore all three and each of their reactions to the adoptions made sense in their own ways. If I was tempted to leave one in China (I say this totally kidding as it NEVER crossed my mind to actually do that) it would have been our second and man do I adore that child. Just so sad. I hope his family finds him as that was clearly not it.

Anonymous said...

Shannon, I have scoured your site and I cannot find an email adress. I desprately would like to talk with you? Would you mind sharing your email? Thank you so much!

M.

Shannon said...

I have been trying to figure out how to link in my email on the sidebar! Thanks for reminding me to ask for help on that! I am
laxton@htc.net

Waiting for Mia Hope! said...

Amen Shannon! :) Umm...you can cross the river to St. Louis before your next adoption! :) Okay...the photo of Mavery breaks my heart...yet she is SO beautiful!

Truly Blessed said...

This situation in China is sad beyond words. I cannot imagine what is going on the mind of that little boy, my heart breaks for him. I'm sure his "real" family is out there somewhere and will find him soon, and we can only pray for the families who rejected him.

Like you, we have a daughter who is waiting for us in China. There are so many unknowns, but she has been ours since the moment we saw her face. Like it or not, she has a family -- forever.

Sorry you're having such a rough time with your paperchase. Ours was awful and took WAY too much time (making me feel guilty for making our daughter wait for US). Oh the frustrations of not being in control!

Daughter of the King said...

Because He loves Mavery so much that He has planned long ago to bring this baby girl to a wonderful godly healthy family, your family.

Because He loves you and your family so much that He is going to bring Mavery "home" but you need to teach her where her "eternal home" will be one day.

We need to remember our identity. We need to know who we are in Christ.
-Remember His love
(2 Corin. 5:14-15)
-Remember our adoption
(2 Corin. 6:16-7:1)
-Remember our future
(Col. 3:1-4)
-Remember that we've been cleansed form sin; we have perfect peace in conscience
(2 Peter 1:3-10)
-We are walking by faith, not by sight
(2 Corin. 5:6-10)

Love and Hugs with prayers!

*esther*

Finally a Family of Four said...

Their is no doubt in my mind that Mavery is your daughter.
I know you have loved her and prayed for her since you laid your eyes on her sweet face.
No matter what, she is a Laxton.

Renee

Finally a Family of Four said...

Their is no doubt in my mind that Mavery is your daughter.
I know you have loved her and prayed for her since you laid your eyes on her sweet face.
No matter what, she is a Laxton.

Renee