Song That is Playing

Or if it is not playing, hit play on the left! I have had quite a few people asking about the song, Isn't it perfect? I repasted the words that I had posted back in January so below is that entry. Crazy to think that at that time, Sage was just a little newborn baby, 2 months old.



Smile

Because I like to torture myself as much as possible, every song I listen to turns into an adoption song. I heard this one way back and just thought it was perfect. It is by Chris Rice and it is called Smile. He wrote it talking about the day he meets Jesus. Of course I long for that day also. But for now, I have changed the words just a bit for Sage.

How far are you? How close am I?
I know the words are true but I don't feel them inside.
Still I believe, you'll never leave
So where are you now?

Your all i want, you are all I know
Your breath is breathing in my soul
Still I am grasping, aching asking
Where are you now?

I just want to be with you
Just want this waiting to be over
I just want to be with you
and it helps to know that day is getting closer

Every minute takes an hour
Every inch feels like a mile
Till I won't have to imagine
And I finally get to see you Smile

My jouney's here, but my heart is there
So i dream and wait and keep the faith while your prepared
For our destiny, till you come home to me
Oh please make it soon

I just want to be with you
I just want this waiting to be over
I just want to be with you
And it helps to know the day is getting closer

Every minute takes an hour
Every inch feels like a mile
Till I wont' have to imagine
And I finally get to see you smile

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And Her Full Name is...

Sage ChenYi Mae Laxton. We had planned to use just her chinese name as her middle name all along. Then I started thinking about how our other 3 children all have a family middle name of some sort. I do not want her to feel left out! So we kept the ChenYi. From our translation, her name was chosen because of this. "Chen represents the Chen Zhou City, where she was found. Yi Qiao carries our sincere hope that she will be blessed and have a much better life. We wished her to be encountered with great people who would help her gain her happiness and auspcious." I felt very strongly that she should have Chen. That is where she began her little life, and that will always be a special place to us. We thought the Yi flowed better. We will say it ChenYi, all together. Like Jenny w/ a C. Mae is after my grandmother on my moms side. It was her middle name. She passed away at only 66 years of age, and I only wish she could have been here to see our sweet babies! We also liked Mae because in China, little sisters are called Mei Mei, so it just fit to end her name as that! And it rhymes w/ all us girls in the house. Shannon Faye, Makenna Kaylee, & Malaine Shaye. Now she can never say I did not include her into the family chain of names!!

Shopping Fun

A gift from my friend Brenda in TN who is going to get Ellie in 2 Weeks! This frame has been waiting for this picture since mothers day!
We girls baby shopped today. Sage must have our colors!
And of course the girls insisted on this one! Isn't that cute?

I have a closet FULL of clothes that I have bought this past year, that will fit Sage sometime in the next YEAR! They are so big! What a shame, now we have to do more shopping. hehehe! I am figuring she will wear 3-6 or 6-9, maybe.
Yesterday I was a crab. I was emotionally drained. The past year, bam. I felt as if I had given birth, w/ out the physical hurt. But today I am good. Mark put up her crib tonight in our room. What a sweet sight! I am filling it w/ all things going to china.
We already have all our translated information on our daughter(where she was found, her daily schedule etc.) and we have settled on her full name. I will post those tomorrow! Along w/ some great pictures of the gifts we got at our Referral Celebration.

More Referral Day

The first picture is the one that was on the front of our referral packet, and the first picture I saw of our sweet daughters face. I love it! the second they took at the agency and it is on their website! Notice my shirt! I am a Lucky Mommy!
We went out to dinner w/ about 50 of our family and friends. We are still in shock! WE HAVE A BABY GIRL!!! God is so good!
The drive to the agency was LONG! We had to go through the city and pick Sawyer up from school. Traffic slowed us down and so we were running late. Who is late for referral?? We went in and the whole china team was there waiting for us. They said ITS A GIRL! and showed us the packet. I took one look at that face, and I knew. This was my baby. The one I have prayed for, cried for, longed for and waited for, for over a year now. She is so young, which we have prayed for on our knees. We did not want to miss ANY of her life, and she is about as young as they would possibly adopt out from China.
Some neat things to us that confirm she is OURS! For my 30th birthday, well over a year ago, Mark bought me a mothers ring. It had stones in it that we removed to add in Makenna and Malaine's birthstone. In the last place which was for Sage it had a November birthstone. They told me at the jewler that they could replace that once we knew when our baby had been born. so for over a year, i have worn around Sage's birthstone!! And the other neat thing to me is that her birthday is November 20th. Our LID to china was 6/20. So every month on that day, I prayed extra hard, and really had a burden for our baby. Well, she was born on November 20th! So the number that has been in my head now for over a year, is her birthdate!
We hope to travel to China in about 7 weeks. So she will be just about 9 months old. And according to the chinese growth chart, she is TINY!! Barely in the 10th %! But from these pictures, she looks very well fed and healthy! Please continue to pray for Sage. That she is being loved on, and WELL cared for till we can bring her home.

ITS A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, The LORD has done great things for them........Psalm 126:2

With Joyful hearts and on our knees with Thanks to GOD for the GREAT things he has done, we introduce our baby girl..

Chen Yi Qiao (chen is her last name & where she is, Yi means also/again Qiao tall/high
I say because the Lord on HIGH has blessed us AGAIN w/ a baby girl!!

To be Sage (chinese part we are still deciding) Laxton

Born November 20th 2005 only 7 months old!!!

Waiting in Chenzhou Childrens Welfare Institue in Hunan

She weighed 12 pounds on April 14th. (with clothes on)

Says she is restless & active and a moderate sleeper!! Has a ready smile, fond of playing with toys and can roll over!

We THANK GOD for this precious and beautiful GIFT!!

THE CALL!

2nd time to attempt to post this. About 10:30 we got the call from our social worker that referrals were in office!! She had not looked at ours since we had told her we did not want ANY information over the phone. She told us to come in at 2pm. SO we are leaving to finally see the face of our sweet baby!

We are celebrating tonight at The Chinese Buffet in South County, Kmart plaza. (by bellacino's) I made a large reservation, so ANYONE is welcome to stop by and celebrate w/ us!

Praise the LORD!!!

The Call

We just got "the call" from our social worker! Our referral is in office!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She had not even looked at the packet, because we requested no information over the phone. She said to come in at 2pm. So we are almost regrettting that decision. 3 hours to wait but then we will FINALLY see our baby!

Want to celebrate with us tonight? We are meeting at the Chinese Buffet in South County in the Kmart Plaza. We would LOVE to see you there and show off our baby. 6pm till whenever. I made a HUGE reservation.

Praise The Lord!!

No News Yet...

Our agency should just be opening up now. I am not sure when the packages are normally delivered. Please continue to pray for safe delivery, because you just never know!
Last night I dreamed we got a referral for a 14 month old baby from Africa. She was cute! But not really what we expected! (did i tell you our friends just finished an adoption from africa?) A few weeks ago I dreamed I got a blond haired blue eyed boy from china. 18 months old. Hmmm.. Way back when I dreamed it was a girl, and she was born on October 30th. then another time I just remember dreaming we got a referral for a girl and she was very young. SO... Today, all those questions will be answered. And if i get a blond hair, blue eyed african chinese baby, then WOW! Will update anytime we hear ANYTHING!!

Monday is the Day!!!

Our Agency spoke with their China office tonight and it looks like referrals will be here on Monday. I am pretty sure this might be the longest weekend of our life! But after waiting for 367 days from our LID, 391 days from the time our paperwork went to China and well over 500 days since we first started the adoption process, what is another 4 days?? Eternity, to tell the truth!

It has been a day full of emotions for me. Huge relief first of all. Knowing we finally made it. No more waiting. Well besides the next 4 days and then the 7 weeks we will wait to travel! Tears of joy have filled me all day. God is so Good! I prayed for this child, and He promised He would deliver. To know we are SO close to seeing that little face that God placed on our hearts so very, very long ago.

We began the process of adoption over 500 days ago. But God began the process in my heart, long before that. Even as a child, I believe He pressed it deep on my heart. You may have heard me talk about the stories of playing "orphange" w/ my barbie dolls as a little girl, or the mission trips I went on and the children I wanted to bring home with me after seeing their living condtions. I know that God had it planned that this baby would complete our family.

Who is this baby? I love her (or him!) w/ every ounce of my soul. This child who I have never laid eyes upon, or held, who I know nothing about. This is our 4th child, yet my feelings are no different. Some question if it is possible to love a child that is not "your own". But she is my own! She was mine before I knew she would be mine. She will be no different to me than our other 3 children. She is the miracle of God's faithfulness and His love. She is a gift and we will never forget the days we waited for her, cried for her, prayed for her.

Soon so very soon we will lay our eyes upon our gift. No more watiting, no more questions. Girl, Boy? Where is she from? (yes, I know CHINA, but where in china? )
When was she born? (i dreamed october 30th & I have a novemeber birthstone left in my mothers ring waiting for her spot to be filled??) Does she have hair? (if they go by Marks pictures, i guess NO!!) What is her name? Where was she found?

So stay tuned! Our time is here. We will get the call and go over to the office to pick up our paperwork. We do not want to know anything over the phone. NOTHING!! I have waited this long, i want it ALL in person. My guess is it will be later monday before we get to post anything.

Thanks for all the prayers and support. Keep praying, the plane has not landed yet!

Oh and one last thing... how do you like the new song? This has been our song through this long wait! Just want to be w/ you, just want this waiting to be over, AND IT ALMOST IS!!!

OUR BABY IS ON THE WAY!!!!

While I slept, peacefully I might add... The CCAA Website Updated!!! Referrals are through June 28th!!! I don't know if we will see our baby tomorrow, or have to wait till Monday, but SOON!!!
PRAISE THE LORD!!!

No News Yet...

Many rumors yesterday that the CCAA site would change last night. That is the chinese center of adoption affairs. They show on their site when referrals are sent and through what date. We planned to stay up all night, but per our agency, last night would not be the night. So we slept. And peacefully might I add! I am SO thankful for all the prayers I know my family & friends are sending up for us. The Lord is covering me in peace & I feel it! Today marks our 1 year anniversary of being logged in with China. Who would have thought we would still be here waiting. But we are close, oh so close!!

HUGE Relief/Not Referral

No news on referrals. Rumors are all over. Some say the site will change during the night tonight, some say they are still working over there. Regardless, we still feel very confidant that we are in this batch. We (mostly me) have been worried sick, because Mark was scheduled to leave town next week for mandatory training, and we were planning to go w/ him. If the referral did not come before then, well you all know the story. Praise the Lord, his training has been CANCELLED!!! We will be here when referrals come, and we can drive to our office and pick it up!! This was such a HUGE deal to me and I just kept praying that God would somehow work it all out. Of course still praying for a referral this week. We are SO ready to meet our baby! Stay tuned! We are planning a 24(the show) marathon so we can stay up late and watch the CCAA website. Not like I am sleeping great anyways!

Boy Names, Just in case!!

We have been really struggling to come up w/ a boy name. If you remember awhile back I thought we had agreed on Stryder. But I guess a nod yes while watching tv, is not really a yes I love that name after all. Mark says there is no way on this earth he is naming his son Stryder. So I told him he had to come up w/ something better. His suggestion was Simeon. Not Simon, but Si me on. I started to do some research on it and the more I searched, the more i liked it.
Simeon means God has heard. That right there gets my attention! And then in the New Testament this is who Simeon was: (from Luke)
25Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon, who was righteous and devout. He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him. 26It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord's Christ. 27Moved by the Spirit, he went into the temple courts. When the parents brought in the child Jesus to do for him what the custom of the Law required, 28Simeon took him in his arms and praised God, saying:
29"Sovereign Lord, as you have promised,
you now dismiss[d] your servant in peace.
30For my eyes have seen your salvation,
31which you have prepared in the sight of all people,
32a light for revelation to the Gentiles
and for glory to your people Israel."

33The child's father and mother marveled at what was said about him. 34Then Simeon blessed them and said to Mary, his mother: "This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, 35so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too."

So, there you have it. Of course i have heard this story before, but as I reread it, I was just very moved and thought it was a really neat name for a child that we have prayed for, and that will be such a blessing to our family. Of course he may still be she! And hopefully with in the next week the question will be answered!

The NeverEnding Month

Will it ever end? I have no doubt we will be getting our referral in this next batch. (If we don't, just lock me away, PLEASE!) But now the question is, WHEN?? I have been counting on it coming mid week next week. That would follow the trend of the last few months. Then I saw a rumor mentioned that they might be mailed THE END of next week. That is bad news for us. Mark has training out of town, and we were going to follow along. I REALLY REALLY wanted to be here when the call comes. Being in the same town as our home office means that I can drive over to the office and pick up our package instead of having it mailed to me. And of course we want to be here to celebrate w/ our family and friends who have prayed and waited right along w/ us. I had been even holding out a little hope that maybe they might come early, maybe this week, so that we could celebrate our "gift" on Fathers Day. I am really going CRAZY!! Maybe I should get busy cleaning my house since tomorrow is the update on our homestudy and our social worker will be back here. That should keep me occupied for today at least! By the way, we have come up w/ a boy name, no thanks to help from you all! Well, we have come up w/ another possiblity I should say. But I will post about that later. It was Mark's idea and it is growing on me...

Happy Anniversary To Us!

For some reason this scanned in horrible. We have been married a long time, but not long enough to have our pictures looking that bad! 12 years ago today, I married my highschool sweetheart! i was 19, sounds so young now! We celebrated tonight w/ a movie & dinner at the Melting Pot, our favorite. Don't we look exactly the same? Give or take a few pounds, and ALOT of hair! hehehehe!

Girl, Boy or Both??

As you probably know, when we turned in our paperwork to China, we stated that we were open to a girl OR a boy from China. We knew the chances of getting a boy were slim, but we still said either as we felt that God would choose the sex of our child, not us. Because we honestly did not care. And at first, I thought in my head girl or boy. But as the wait went on, I felt convinced that we would get a girl. Bought girl things, called her Sage and have become very attached to this little girl in my head and heart. But every once in a while, i have doubts and think, what if it is a boy? I have friends who are convinced we are getting a boy. One of my dear friends even dreamed this week we got a boy referral. Now Malaine, our 3 year old, is convinced we are getting a girl AND a boy. No question about it. And their names will be Sage and Tanner. There is no doubt in her head that this is what she will have for her new siblings. We are not sure where Tanner came from. But she does not talk about Sage w/ out Tanner. The rumors have started. They say referrals will cover through 6/23. I am good w/ that! Though I wish they would go farther and cover all my June friends. There is also rumor they will be here this week, next week etc.. If trend follows as the past few months, I am expecting to hear on the 20th. That will be our 1 year LID anniversary also! This week would be a GREAT surprise of course! But I can make it one more week. I think! So not only do we wait to see when they come, we wait to see, Is it a Girl, A boy?? How old? Where from? This is my most anticipated ultrasound yet!

By the way, we are perfectly fine w/ a boy. I know that God will give me the child that is MY child. But I do need a boy name!! Any S names out there for me? You know a few months ago i said Stryder. Mark says no way now. The only thing we agree on is Xander. Szander. Zander. HELP!!

And are we ok w/ twins if Malaine knows something that we don't? It will be a miracle if that is what we get. And mark will pass out I am sure! But like I said, we trust God knows what we need and whatever baby we are referred, we will know is a gift from Him.

Last Day of School

This was Makenna's last day of school. We have been out for 1 week now! the pictures are out of order. Her teacher is the last one of course. We take a picture every year under the Victory sign to see how much we are growing! And lunch that day was Denny's, Makenna's pick. Hard to believe 2nd grade is over. Next year when school starts life is going to be so different! 4 kids, 2 of them in school full time! WOW!