Saturday, June 05, 2010

Spotlight Sunday-Ms Mavery

Someone so kindly reminded me that I needed to start back in on my spotlight Sundays, so here we go! ;-)

It has been awhile since I have said much about Mavery, thought I would share about her. She has now been home over 18 months, hard to believe we are closing in on 2 years. Some days I think we have come so far, I KNOW we have come far. Yet other days, I have think we will never reach normal. Then I must remind myself that maybe this IS normal, and I need to learn to accept a new kind of normal.

You may remember that we took Mavery in to see our international doctor after being home about 6 months. It was suggested that she could possibly have ADHD, or sensory processing disorder. We started her in therapy for sensory, but we did not see any improvement at all. We started seeing a family therapist who specialized in adoption and who diagnosed her with attachment disorder. And from that things did MUCH improve. Many of the issues we were dealing with, such as the screaming in the car every.single.time. we got in, lessened, to the point where we did not dread going for just a short drive. Many things have improved, we can look back to even just 6 months ago, and we KNOW things are better.

Yet we still struggle. We have found that routine works miracles for Mavery. She has gone to school this past year, and that has been a blessing. She loves, LOVES school. As we neared the start of summer vacation I wondered how it would go for her. And after 3 days home I knew. I quickly called and enrolled her in part time. We are able to just have her there when other kids are out on vacation. So not all the time, but at least a few weeks of the summer. I worried how she and Sage would do, because they were not both going, but I think it was good for them. The school agreed it was very good for Mavery to have that time with out Sage.

When not in school though, days can be challenging. Even if we try to keep a routine for her. We are thinking we need to re explore the sensory stuff. Look for another place to try out and see if it helps her, and us. You know, it is nothing major, as I read about some children. It is just little things. For example, if she wants a drink, she does not ask, she just suddenly will throw herself on the ground screaming that she is thirsty. Still can't sit still, and is kind of like a bull in a china shop! But a REALLY cute bull I should add!! ;-) She is GREAT if you can keep her busy EVERY SINGLE MINUTE of EVERY SINGLE DAY. Honestly. But I am talking if she is bored with an activity you have planned after 29 seconds, you better be prepared for another project. Lots of people have lots of advice, but one thing I have learned, no one REALLY gets it. No one lives here in our house with us. And while the ideas are all great, until you are living it, you can't even understand it.

However, I do want to say that Mavery REALLY is the sweetest little girl! She has a VERY caring heart. If she has something, she always wants to share with everyone. She is very concerned about those around her. More than any of my other children. She LOVES to color, and that is the one thing that we do MUCH of the day. I keep colors and books on every surface so we can grab one anytime we want. She is very friendly. She has yet to meet a stranger. Which can be a bit scary at times as many times we are out and I look over she is on a strange mans lap!

She is also very huggy. Loves to give hugs and kisses. She LOVES to play with hair, and her teacher is certain she is going to grow up and be a beautician! She has a few of those barbie heads I pull out often and her barbies get regular brushings and braids! She has amazing hair herself, it is SO thick and she is very proud of how long it is FINALLY getting! Her very favorite activity and MINE too for her is that she loves water. If we are having a rough day, I run a bath for her! I wish we could afford a pool as I know that would be great therapy for ALL of us!! ;-)

I have heard before that sometimes it takes as long as they lived in an institution for them to settle in out of it. And maybe that is the case. She was almost in China for 3 years, and has just been home 1 1/2 years. We remind ourselves daily, there has been improvement! We also remind ourselves of those days we waited and wondered, as we pored over her picture and we prayed on our faces before God, is THIS our daughter? And He said yes. She is to be yours and YOU were made to be her mommy. So on the days (or hours) when I think I am NOT equipped for this job, I just think back on that time. Out of ALL the mommies in the world, He chose ME! So while I might doubt MY abilities and feel like a failure most days, I try to remember He is a bit smarter than I am!! He knew the road we would travel when He pointed her picture out to me. He knew she needed us, and that I needed her. And so even if things NEVER change from how they are right now, I know that He will change ME and that we will all be ok.


Jackie said...

Awww, she's just beautiful, Shannon! All your children are!

I have absolutely no idea what you're going through, but I'll be praying for the strength you need to get through it!


Mom to my China Posse said...

Beautifully written from your heart and a reminder to all of us that when we can't change somethings in life, that we need to try to change the way we feel about it because God has a plan for each and everyone of us and sometimes we don't know where thats going to lead us but he challanges us in many ways that make us grow as Christians. Hang in there and know were praying for you as you have for us.

Nancy said...

You have a beautiful heart, Shannon. I will pray for you and your family.

Kelly said...

Awesome post Shannon...Praying for strength, wisdom and guidance for your entire family...

Anonymous said...

Aww - our sweet Mavery! I'm not sure what this family would do without her! She may be like a bull in a China shop, but she is certainly the cutest and sweetest "bull" I have ever seen. We all love her so much and have no doubt she is right where God wants her to be! AND YOU ARE THE PERFECT MOM FOR HER! We ove her so much!


Mei Mei s and Mayhem said...

Mavery sounds like our daughters twin!! We are dealing with all the same things since coming home.

This past week we went to visit my parents and they have a pool in their backyard. It was a week of heaven for both Ava and us. Seriously thinking about moving to a warm climate just so we could have our own pool.

We have been a week into summer and it has been so hard. But saving for our 2nd adoption leaves us no option for summer school.

Please let me know if you find new things that work and I will do the same!! Blessings.