He Knows My Name

Today our church celebrated Sanctity of Life. And while our pastor spoke on abortion and the horrifying statistics, I was reminded of how blessed we are to parent Sage and Mavery both. While we have no idea the circumstances surrounding their birth or WHY their birth mother made a choice, we know this. She made a choice. She chose life. Regardless of the reasons, they chose to carry my daughters and deliver them. So many other choices they could have made. As I listened to those numbers today, of babies that never know life because of the choice their mothers made, I whispered up prayers of thanks to our Heavenly Father for these mothers.

We sang this song , He knows my name, twice in church today. I have had this on my blog for awhile, but singing it today and thinking of these birth mothers and my heart has been so heavy with thoughts of Mavery the words just calmed my heart. This baby girl, who waits half a world away, He knows her. He knew her when He knit her together in a mothers womb. He holds her in His hands. When she lies down at night, with out a mothers arms to hold her or kiss her goodnight, HE is there. When she wakes up alone, when she gets hurt and no one comes running, when she is lonely and I am not there, HE is! And while we know that on December 18th, 2007 Mavery went to bed for the first time in China no longer an orphan, but matched with her family! We know that God has had His hand on her LONG before then.

It is hard, waiting is frustrating! I am mad at anyone from the FBI, to the doctors office for not working as fast as I want them to work. Yet then God whispers, "I never promised it would be easy, I just promised you your daughter was waiting. And I promised you that I formed your daughter, she if first MINE, and when I say you can have her, you will have her. " So while I am still not happy and thinking of her sitting over there breaks my heart, I refuse to wish away our lives now. We will enjoy our time now, and trust that God is leading us through this wait, just as he did with Sage. We will walk it out, not running and pushing and stomping and crying.(though I am sure there will be many days we will WANT to do ALL of those things!) Our Heavenly Father knows Mavery's name. He KNOWS the date I will hold her in my arms, He has already written it in His book!

So today I spend in Thanksgiving. For 2 women who chose life, and for God allowing me to parent those beautiful children that came from that choice.

Psalm 139:13-17 (New International Version)

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!