Do you think???

That maybe my children could use a pool? ;0) Which is not on the list, so for now, they get to dream with the plastic bin!

2 Years Ago...

Our family June 26th, 2006
Sage June 26th, 2007

Sage June 26th, 2008

2 year ago, we laid eyes on a picture that held the promise of everything we had been dreaming of for well over a year. We saw our Sage for the very first time. June 26th, 2006, our referral day! We began our adoption journey in February 2005. Many of you waited and carried us through that wait. It was endless and at the time, I did not think I could ever do that again. Until I looked into the eyes of my daughter. And I knew at that moment, I would have waited a lifetime for her.
My friend explained referral day as kind of like an ultrasound for those pregnant. And I think that is a great way to describe the feelings. Walking in, knowing you are going to get a glimpse of your child! Yet for me, I walked in with so much less fear than into those ultrasound rooms. I was a fearful pregnant mama. Always anxious. But when I walked into that room to get my referral of Sage, there was no fear. Well maybe a little bit of fear that I was going to pass out before they handed it to me! ;-) If you remember, we had no idea if we were getting a boy or girl, as we had said we were open to either. Of course we assumed it was a girl, but they really DO have boys in China. So we just did not know. It really was a feeling I can’t even describe when I finally saw that picture. One I will never, ever forget. And today, I am filled with sweet memories of that day. Pouring over every tiny detail of those photos and her report. Finally a glimpse of the promise God had given to me, a child that He was holding in His arms.

So today we celebrate knowing her sweet face for 2 years. Mark says we are giving the child way to many celebrations, though he sure does not complain about eating out at our local chinese place. (where the kids claim my best friends live, they love us there!) And I celebrate the reminder that God's promise was fulfilled that day. For months and months I wondered and yes, doubted that we would EVER really have a baby. Even though He had spoke SO clearly to me, I could not understand why we had to wait so long. But then I saw her, and I knew why we waited and that God REALLY did have a plan, MUCH bigger than me.

Strangers, US?

Here is from my friends blog about Mavery...

"OK now. Let me try to remember everything... The children's program director (short guy) said for Jin Cong (Shannon's sweetie) that she now is aware of strangers and gets upset by them easily. This of course is all normal for her age, and thus one reason why we just can't seem to get a picture with a smile from this girl. (I say this last sentence. :-) However, I saw with my own eyes that she smiles. They love her to death, as they do all the kiddos. He picked her up and she just smiled and giggled. But she wasn't happy to see us."

I just laughed and cried all at once reading that about her!! I was a little concerned that maybe she was sad ALL the time, so I am thankful to know that she is happy! I am just going to remember my friends comment awhile back, when she hides her face from us, just pretend she is playing peek a boo! ;-) I told Mark we are going to have to bring out all the tricks and become Mr and Mrs Fun. Because obviously, she is going to have a hard time. Please be praying specifically with us about this. That God would just plant us in HER heart, just a little bit.

We are so thankful to know that this is a good place that our sweet girl is in. From reading Angi's blog, you can tell the children are really loved.

Another blog coming today, it is a special day for Sage & our family!

Can't Stop looking at her pictures.....

My Mavery

Mavery with the director of her SWI. He sounds amazing from everyone we have heard who went to visit.
Sweet little sad face waiting for her mama
This is the group from our agency that is waiting

Jonah-Nathan-AnnaLin & Angi(AL is Angi's oldest daughter)

Mavery-Jin & Autumn(Autumn is Angi's new daughter that lived w/ Mavery!)

She just looks SO sad doesn't she? Oh she needs her mama that is for sure.

And she needs some PINK on! And hairbows, we need that girl to be in BIG bows. I wondered why all the other girls are in pink besides Ms Mavery. My friend said it must be her tutu is at the cleaners. ha! It must be to convince her daddy that it is ok for her mommy to be doing LOTS of shopping for his newest princess??

We are thrilled, to get a glimpse of her it does the heart good. It just looks like such a clean, good place. The children all look healthy and well taken care of.

Did you notice on the video at my friends blog, she is not staying there to sing? And in the one photo, they are trying to make her sit down? This is supposed to be the easy child, I don't like seeing Sage like behavior there! ;0)

As for the medical "stuff"... The stuff I am just trying to ignore and pretend that it is all just perfect, as I pray it is! We sent 2 letters to china. One from our primary, who was not very helpful to me and was just being a doctor I suppose. One went today from our specialist who was being a christian doctor, it was amazing and perfect and if you ever need an ear, nose and throat dr, call me. He is unlike ANY doctor I have ever met. Anyways, both letters are going and we are just going to pray. Our agency sees no problem and we are just going to believe that. We appreciate your continued prayers as we wait.

MAVERY SIGHTING!!!!!!!!!

My friend is in China and she took amazing pictures, go see our girl!!!!!! I will transfer them over here as soon as I can, but wanted you to go peek at her blog while I work on mine. I needed this this week for sure. Isn't she GORGEOUS!!!!!!!

It's about time!

My parents, Grandpa, Mark and I, Shane and Esther
Shane & Esther at the Lake
Me & Esther (we attended a wedding for a couple in my church)
mom, Eshter & I

Remember this post about Esther? Well I am happy to report that it is official, my brother has a GIRLFRIEND! Wow, I have waited a LONGGGGGGGGGGG time to post about this! (oh he is so going to kill me, if he actually cheks the blog! hehe!)

For many years I have waited patiently(or not so patiently) for Shane to find a girl. I was not thinking he had to find a wife, just a nice girlfriend that I could hang out with. After many, many years, we figured it was not going to be a girlfriend, probably just a wife. Which I was fine with to. All the better, as long as I approved of her of course. (ha!) And for awhile I thought, well maybe God really did just call him to be single. Which is not what I wanted, but ya know. I always said I had so many children because my brother had none, I needed to make sure my parents had grandkids and all! ;0)

So Shane meets Esther when he went to seminary.(which he went to seminary to become a missionary, if you are wondering. Foreign missionary) And while it took awhile, months and months to be exact, they are now offically dating! We are thrilled. I have become good friends with Esther since we "met" online through Shane and I just LOVE her. Well I love her besides the fact she thinks my wedding dress is comical. These young girls today, they know nothing about fashion I tell you! I keep telling her, she will be old and married 14 years someday and someone will then laugh at HER wedding dress choice! Seriously, I love her and you know I am praying that she is the soon to be aunt to my children. Not that I am rushing things along, not me!

Shane brought her home with him this month and we took a family trip to my parents lake house. We had a great time getting to know her more and the children just adore her. Sage says all the time " where Esa go" Say Escarot and you will picture how she says it! It was quite a site going out, you know everyone is trying to figure out who goes with who in our group!

Esther was born in Taiwan and her family moved here to the states to start a chinese church 10ish years ago. She speaks fluent mandarin, so we have said we would keep her on speed dial while in China so she can translate Mavery for us! We wish we could just take her with us.

It is amazing how God has woven this all together for our family. Our heartbeat is for China and my brother has felt a calling there as well. To have this connection with Esther is just an added blessing! I can't wait to see how this story unfolds!

14 Years........

On June 11th we celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary. I figured I better go back and post that, the main reason being it is RARE for me to get flowers. And so I need to document those times when I do! ; -) Mark was out of town, and our babysitter was sick on the night we were supposed to go out. But we figure, we are going to CHINA! ALONE on a plane for 14 hours is a great way to celebrate 14 years, right!? (of course it will be a late celebration, no we still do not know WHEN we are going)

I also had to post a picture from our wedding, since I spent the weekend getting made fun of for my dress from my very YOUNG friend who is not even married and I can't wait to make fun of HER dress in 14 years since she does not understand that styles change! ;-) Oh don't worry, I will comment more on HER soon! hehe!

14 years married to a man who still puts up with my crazy dreams and ideas. My best friend and the most amazing father I know. I can't wait to see what God has in store for us in the next 14 years! (I am pretty sure Mark is praying it is not 5 MORE children, though one just never knows!)

A Glimpse of Grace

If you have not been to Amy's blog, please visit here and say hi! Many, many of you have asked how she is doing. Her testimony of all that she has gone through are a picture of God's loving grace, and the arms He holds around her in the dark she is in. Please continue to lift her up. As many of you know, sometimes the after is harder than the during. Everyone else goes on, but the loss is still so fresh and real for so long for us hurting mama's. She is for sure better than I am at handling things, no kicking and stomping her foot that I have seen! I have decided I want to be just like her when I grow up! ;-)

China Called.....

Which is not a good thing when you have only been waiting 3 weeks for LOA. They are questioning a medical condition that Mark has, and they want a doctors note stating it is not cancerous at all. Which it is not. Our agency assures me it is fine, this is good. They did not say no, they just need this letter from our doctor notarized.

Part of me wants to say, yippee, they are going over our dossier, we are being reviewed! But the bigger part of me is scared.

Part of me wants to say my faith is stronger than this. That I am simply laying this down at the feet of Jesus and trusting He is going to take care of it. But the bigger part of me only looks back at all the struggles we have gone through from day 1 of this adoption. NOTHING has gone MY way, from the day I laid eyes on Mavery.

Part of me wants to say, that Mavery is mine and NOTHING can stop that. But the bigger part of me is really, really in panic mode here.


Today when I got this call, I was on a church field trip w/ the kids at the City Museum. What I wanted to do was just find a dark cave there(which it is full of) and have a good cry and maybe even a little shake my fist and stomp my foot kind of talk w/ God. But I could only cry out in my heart. And over and over God whispered, "You are forgetting who is in control here. You still think it is YOU who is in control."



But I LIKE being in control! I NEED to be in control! I am GOOD at being in control. Aren't I??


Maybe not.


Maybe God needed me to get that call, so I would remember the One who has even allowed me to fall in love with this child.


Maybe He wants to remind me, that I will ONLY hold her, because He says I will.


Maybe He is trying to tell me, Trust ME. Grow in Me. Love me more and believe that I will take care of this.

These are the things I want to believe, I really do. So please pray with me that I would have peace about this. I am reminded that just days ago I blogged about trusting His plan. So I am trying. One thing that has never wavered from the day I laid eyes on Mavery, she IS mine. I do not doubt God on that one. She IS my daughter and I will do whatever it takes to bring her home.

My friends who have adopted have already cheered me on today saying, Review, already that is GOOD! So I am hoping that is true. That our letter gets there in the next couple of days, and I get an LOA with amazing speed! Wait, no, what I really hope is that I can lay it down, trust in Him and Believe that His timing is perfect.

On a happy note, my friend is traveling to China on FRIDAY! Her daughter is with my Mavery and she is going to visit the orphanage! So she has promised to do everything she can to get her in her arms.

Lots of blogs I need to post to catch up. Will try to get them in this week.

Sometimes life is just not fair

Last night we got a call that my cousins wife was being taken to the hospital with cramping and bleeding. She is 13 weeks pregnant. They did an ultrasound and were not able to find the babys heartbeat, and the baby measured at only 9 weeks. So now tomorrow she goes in for a D & C.

My heart hurts. It aches for Amy, who is also one of my very dearest friends. God did not give me a sister to grow up with, but He has blessed me with Amy, whom I love as I imagine I would love a sister.

We had plans. We joke all the time that TJ & Amy just copy off of us. Waited about the same amount of time after being married to have children. Had their 2nd child the same amount apart as my 1st and 2nd child. I was adopting Sage, she was pregnant with Adley. Sage came home, right before Adley was born. We had Sage and Adley dedicated at church together last year, we celebrated afterwards and it was so sweet, we knew they were going to be the best of friends, just like Jaylyn and Malaine. And while we wait for Mavery, she becomes pregnant, and we talked about how amazing that was, her new baby would come soon after Mavery came home. We could once again have our children dedicated together.

This was not part of the plan.

We did not write this into our story.

And I do not think it is fair.

So many feelings that I am reminded of from when we lost our first baby in pregnancy. Why is it babies are born to those who don't want them, but those who DO want them, lose them? Why are there so many abortions, why are babies being born to women, who change themselves into men. Why, why, why? We just wanted THIS baby.

But God, He reminds me, He is the author of everything. He knew we would only get to love this little baby, for just a short time. That we would never even know if it really was a boy, as we all predicted. Not right now anyways. Someday, we will know. (Though I am in agreement with Jaylyn, a little boy baby!) I know that little baby is in Jesus arms, just perfect, and someday, Amy will hold him and kiss him and be home together forever.

God asks me, Do you love me when it hurts? Or only in good.

Do you trust me when things do not go as you want?

Do you believe that I have a plan, bigger than your plans?

And so I trust Him, I love Him and I believe His plans. I am on my knees for my sweet friend & my cousin TJ, that God would give them peace as she goes in to surgery tomorrow. That He would heal their hearts and hold them close. That He would help all of us to know how to love them during this time.

Please say a prayer for them if you would.

If you Give a Girl a LID

If you give a girl a LID, she will be so excited that she will not be able to sleep.

If she is not able to sleep, she will stay up all night planning out her entire trip to China, that is still months away.

If she plans out her entire trip, it will remind her of how truly amazing China is and will make her try to figure out how to see as much as she can in a short amount of time.

And all that planning of being on the other side of the world will also remind her that she is leaving her kids for 2 weeks.

That will get her nervous and sad and wonder how they are going to do with out her.

So then that will take more planning because she needs to get them little gifts to open while she is gone.

And so when she makes a list of the little gifts, it will remind her of all the other things that she needs to get done.

She will add about 10 pages on to the already LONGGGGGG list of things to do before she leaves for china.

She will then get in panic mode and think about how her list is now 18 pages long and she will go to China in possibly 3 months.

She will look at her list and see what is not so important, but in her state of mind think that even cleaning under the stove & behind the refrigerator must be done because her new daughter can NOT come into a house that might have hidden crumbs somewhere.

And thinking of the kitchen will make her add even more on to her list because wouldn’t it be great to have a ton of frozen meals on hand for the grandparents and herself for when she gets home?

Which will lead to thinking of coming home on the plane with a 2 year old, on a 14 hour flight and she will be reminded of why she is not taking 4 other children w/ her.

Coming home will also help her remember that she will be coming home with an angel, that God surely has had on her heart since He first planted adoption there.

And that will lead her to her knees in thanksgiving to God, for the miracles of adoption, the miracles of children, and the miracle that she is able to have these FIVE gifts from Him.

All Because you gave a mom a LID!

LID!!!!!!!!!!!!

We just got the call that our paperwork has been logged in to China! (LID) Our date is

5/23, which is what we prayed for. It is the day after our paperwork landed in China!! So now the offical countdown can begin! We are hopeful to travel in September, leaving maybe even late August. That is our prayer. Please pray with us that things would continue to move along. The next thing we wait on is our Letter of Approval. (LOA). This means that China has said yes and they will ask us if we still want to adopt Mavery. This seems to be coming to families anywhere from 50 to 100 days. We are praying for shorter, you know we are! Nice to know that 14 days are already down!

Funny

Mavery's referral picture
Sage's referral picture

Some have asked if the reports we get from China are true, or if they just check boxes and send you random information. And that is what I thought they did BEFORE I brought Sage home. Well, after reading Maverys report, I have gone back to Sage's report and this is what it said of Sage-
RESTLESS & ACTIVE!

I do not think we need to say more on THAT subject!

I thought this comment by Amy from my last post was perfect as I was thinking of these reports.

"She is one step closer to home! We can't wait! I like the comparisons between Sage and Mavery:
Mavery sleeps in a crib Sage is an expert at escaping from cribs
Mavery uses a big vase to pee in Sage might need to try using a vase to pee in
Mavery uses a regular cup to drink out of Sage uses anyone's cup but hers to drink out of
Mavery doesn't like to be left alone in a room Sage SHOULDN'T be left alone in a room
Mavery loves to swing Swinging is one of the only things that Sage doesn't want to doI'll stop there. :) I am so excited to see how God has put these perfect girls together to be sisters. They are both so precious and we can't wait to get Mavery home!!! "

It is going to be fun around here, there is no doubt about that! And we can't wait!!!!!