Thursday, January 08, 2009

I will not leave you as orphans....

**Update**I totally agree, it is so hard not having a name and just saying that blog girl I read about! As I listened to the song on my playlist by Selah and thought about Gods Glory, I thought it was fitting. We want Gods Glory to shine. So I will refer to her as Glory. Also, she does have a scholarship for school, she has been attending Southern Seminary in Louisville. So school is not an issue. Healthcare is. Thank you for praying and I will keep you updated.


Can we adopt a 27 year old? This is the question I posed to Mark recently. And to be honest, he did not roll his eyes at me and say no as you might expect.

I have been throwing this post around in my head and heart for a few weeks now. Since I found out some news that has made me sad all the way to my soul.

Let me back up to early 2008. My brother brought a group of friends home, here, to celebrate Chinese New Year with us. He has a group of friends from all different parts of Asia. And you know we do love Asia. Plus we love a party. Some might think we adopted chinese kids just so we could add a whole new set of celebrations to our family, because we like to party so much.

This is not a funny blog post, I promise. But that was a joke. This is long, but please stay with me.

So my brother brings home friends, and we had a whole bunch of fun. That is when I officially met Esther and threatened my brothers life if he let her go! ;0) Thankfully so far she is still around. He knows big sister knows best.

Along with Esther there were a few girls who stayed at our house the weekend. I love meeting new people and hearing their stories. There was one girl , who I was not so sure she liked me that much. She was quiet, with me anyways. She was not as open. And since I am obviously a spill my guts type of girl, did not get to know her as well as I would have liked. Probably the spilling my guts scared her off?

Then we visited Shane at school a few months later. And that particular girl made us a cake when we came. Which I just thought was so sweet. And proved maybe she did not think I was as nuts as I thought she thought I was. Then when it came time for me to travel to China this time, we emailed back and forth a few times while she helped me in looking at Shanghai hotels. She was so kind and though I know she really probably thought of us as spoiled Americans when it came to hotels, she was just helpful.

I had not heard anything from her and a few weeks ago my brother mentioned in a conversation that she had to go back to Asia recently.

Because she was sick.

Because she has cancer.

Which of course made me sad and shocked. But then I found out that she is an orphan.

And that still makes me catch my breath to say that. She, obviously, did not want me to know. She is very private, which is why I am not going to use her name. And probably just writing this blog would upset her.

But I can't NOT write it.

So she is back in Asia, because she is going through chemotherapy and the government pays for this. She is alone. From what I understand living in the hospital.

With no one. And it is bad. There are details that have made me weep, but I do not feel I can share.

Now obviously, my heart is for orphans. But this just put a whole new twist on it. It is so easy for us to think that we SHOULD adopt, because those kids need families. But how often do we look beyond those kids. And what actually becomes of them as they become an adult, who never had a family?

Well, this is what happens. They grow up, they are alone. They get cancer and they go through chemo alone. No one to take them to an appointment and holds their hand as hair falls out. No to to encourage them, love them, even when they are not the same on the outside anymore.

I look at my little girls and I think, what if?? And how many more are out there, who won't be adopted who will LIVE that kind of future.

I realize that there are many people who go through chemo, and maybe they don't have a mother anymore. But to have NEVER known a family? To have never had a mom to tell you it is going to be ok? To not be able to look back on those memories of being loved deeply.

There has been a part of me that has thought I am supposed to get on a plane and go to her. Which is ridiculous because if you knew her, you would know she would not want me there. And obviously I have a new child here who needs me right now.

There is a part of me that wonders, why does it hurt ME so much? Others can hear a story like this and think, oh that is sad, and go on. Why for me does it haunt me day in and day out with my mind working in overtime trying to figure out how to help? Wondering if you CAN adopt 27 year olds. Wondering how I can save the world and make sure that no children live with out love?

What does God think in these situations? What would He have us do as Christians? These thoughts have gone round and round in my head. Can we adopt a 27 year old? Do people do that? Do you think she would agree to wear matching dresses with her 4 sisters? hehe, kidding, of course. Mark, being oh so practical said" You can't adopt 27 year olds. And you can't get her on your insurance. And if we suggested we wanted her, she would probably run, she KNOWS our family!"

Now, one thing I would like to see happen, is for her to at least be able to come back to the states and go to seminary. That is where her life is now. I have been online trying to look for options. Do hospitals take on cancer patients for FREE? Obviously, she is not a US citizen. How could all of that work? There must be a solution? And in between learning all I can about Maverys heart, homeschooling the kids, and keeping up with life, I am trying to find that solution. If you know of any cancer centers in Louisville, Ky, can you help me?

I often hear the discussion, is adoption for everyone? Should we all adopt? Obviously, most people don't think so and I am not here to really argue about that right now. Yet I can't help but think of this sweet girl and what would have happened had someone not been to busy, to tired, found the money, found the time, found it in their hearts to say yes.

I know many of you are prayer warriors and I ask you to add this friend to your prayer list. She may not know the love of a mother, or a family. But my prayer is that she will feel the love of the Lord surrounding her. That she will know that there are moms out there who do love her and are carrying her in thoughts and prayers through this horrible time. She is good friends with Esther, so I know she has wonderful friends who love her. Here, not there of course.

One verse that I cling to for her is this. John 14:18 "I will not leave you as orphans, I will come for you." I know that He has a plan for her and that He loves her.

But oh how I wish she had a mama....

13 comments:

Our House of Five said...

I love your heart! Tracy

Cassie said...

ooooooooooooooooooooo my goodness... I am crying rivers of sorrow.... sorrow that anyone has to ever go through alone...sorrow for the disease of cancer....sorrow for someone not having mommas and daddys... I am right there with you Shannon....i want to jump on the next plane and just be with her if for nothing else to hand a hand and lay hands on her so she knows there is a momma out here that worries for her and wants to be there with/for her. I pray that God brings to completion He has started in her. That maybe just maybe her faith grows leaps and bounds and she becomes a living testimony of His miraculous healings and the wonderous things He can do. I will be praying the scripture verse Jer. 29:11

I am with you and praying for peace to your heart to....God has plans for you in her life to. Just continue to be there and pray like you always do you mighty prayer warrior.

Blessings
Cassie

Cassie said...

Shannon check your email I am sending you a private email....

Blessings
Cassie

Anonymous said...

Shannon,
No words, just prayer.
Sandy

Mom to my China Posse said...

Shannon, I have a friend who just moved to Beijing with a heart as big as the world, I am sure she would love to help if she could. Would you like her email? Can I link your blog to her?

Kathy

Luke said...

...very interesting. It's odd because this young lady is slightly older than me, and I'm working on adopting myself.

...that's it. Just started my brain ticking...

But, yes, love is a very needed thing no matter how old you are [smile].

~Luke

traceylynndel said...

Shannon, I recently learned you can adopt a US citizen no matter how old they are. You can adopt an 80 year old if you want. But the US gov. limits foreign adoptions to age 16. If she ever becomes a citizen she can legally join your family then. Keep looking for schools and such. Many schools have great scholarship programs for foreign students. I don't know about hospitals and chemo though. Sorry. I'll be praying for your friend. Can you give her a "name" just so we have something to pray for her as?
Tracey
www.delrosarioadoptionsaga.spaces.live.com

annaliese said...

I don't wonder that you react this way when learning of this young lady's ordeal--God has given you an amazing heart of empathy. I am so glad you have given voice to her story. I am so sorry you are hurting so much through this. and praying for you, as well as her.

Shawnstribe said...

oh Shannon
i'm praying!!!!!
xxx
s

gloria said...

Bod Bless You :)

Suzy said...

Shannon, it hurts so much to read this I can barely breathe. I know we're never truly alone, and it sounds as if Glory knows God. How I hope and pray that His angels will hold her tight, place a cool hand on her forehead, catch her tears, and lift her spirit. A world away, it seems there is no shortage of people who would love to be her mom, even though she's past that "cute baby" stage. Praying for you, Glory and Mavery.

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